Diary of a wayfarer

The Zikir that disturbed my attention...

2011-12-25T20:22:00.000+08:00

Whoaa I think I was so disturbed by the zikir that these people were chanting. Yeah very disturbed ok. The moment when I stepped at the mosque, the majlis zikir was going on. I was about to perform my maghrib prayer. Hahaha.. I was so disturbed by the chanting till I forgot to perform the tahiyatul masjid. I just started my Maghrib prayer and was still at the first rakaat, when I heard phrases that really distracted me. Yes, it distracted my attention till my focus was slipped from my recitation of surah al-asr. Astaghfirullah! I heard among the content of their chants was the name of Syeikh Abdul Qadir Jailani. It went something like '... Syeikh Abdul Qadir Jailani, waliyullah...'. I was so shocked at that. If I wasn't praying I think I'll be toungue-tied, frowning.. The expression that some friend realised and labelled as unsatisfactory illustration from me.. Hahaha.. Luckily the shock is not to the extent of mental paralysis. Hahaha..

Oh please what's this? What tarekat were they joining? Hmmm.. I don't know what to say...

The Discourse Tonight :)

2011-12-24T15:32:00.002+08:00

I really can't wait for tonight. The Islamic discourse at Muhammadiyah by Ustaz Hafiizh Rapi'ee and another Ustaz from Institut Al-Qayyim. It's not that I'm excited about listening to Ustaz Hafiizh's kulliyyah. Hahaha.. I've been listening to him weekly and not only that, I've been listening to his jokes almost five days a week. Hahaha.. We are colleagues and thus I've been enduring with all his idiosyncrasies all these while. Being the talkative, chatty and funny he is, I will never pass a day without being teased by him. Allah bless him, Ameen. for always making my day and my other collegues' day. What's tonight's discourse that make me so excited? :) I don't really like to use the term, it will sound so exclusive in fact it's not. It is open for all people from all walks of life. It's another Salafi-Wahabi discourse. Really love it though the topic that is going to be discussed is something common. Nothing so big and special. :) But a discourse by those who are salafi inclined are very academic, intellectual, factual and the most important thing is Islamic. I really love it!! :)

2011-12-23T08:50:00.000+08:00

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim. This morning I just feel like writing about this in my blog. Yes, I'm working today and don't worry i don't 'curi tulang'. I'm actually on my way to HQ this morning, need to send a few case report. It's Friday and I really look forward to the long weekend. It's going to be Christmas on Sunday and the next day is holiday. I really look forward to this weekend for my time off work.. Hehehe.. I guess recently I just feel a bit drained. It's not that I don't enjoy what I do, I like it, I know it's a noble job but I'm a human being with feelings too. I don't want to talk much about it now cause I have other intention to express now.

I think lately I have been feeling a bit lonely. Hmmm.. I don't know how to express it. I'm not always good at it and it frustrates me. The most important thing is I have started to feel lonely. I am always busy and make myself busy with activities but I still fail to 'shoo' the feeling away. I think I realise one thing. Honestly and frankly, as a human being who is created by Allah with feelings, emotion and sensitivity, I think it is time for me to settle down and find a life partner, my soulmate and my other half. I don't need a boyfriend but I need someone to complete and complement me. Yes, he is whom I need. :(

Sometimes I find it funny because I realise this quite late. Only this year that it starts to bother me badly. Before this, I don't really have that strong feeling to get married or rather I should say I can't decide whether I want to get married or not. Once upon a time when people asked me when would be my time, I answered them 'not now, maybe when I'm 30'.

I am being labelled as someone who is very choosy and selective. The actual fact is that I'm not, I just want to be with someone who suits me well. I know who exactly I want in the criteria sense. However, I tried many times to compromise but still ut relapsed. I compromised not because I fell for these people in the

Ya Allah tidak ku pinta yang menawan, tidak ku harap yang hartawan, bukan jua kerna kedudukan, cuma ku damba insan yang sepadan..

After My Super Long Break...

2011-12-14T23:23:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.

Oh wow, how much i realise that it has been such a very long time since the last time I wrote in this blog. Actually I've been wanting to update this blog but I do not know what holds me from doing so. I hope I could start back my writing even if it is just a sentence or a line, insya Allah. Please make du'a for me. Make du'a that I will be more proactive in my writing and the most important thing is please make du'a that I will always be a humble servant of Allah and an obedient Muslimah who puts Allah first before any other things and a filial daughter to my parents.

Yes, these are the factors that always motivate me to lead a happy and simple life. I know I always have Allah who listen to my happiness and sadness. He is always there for me in good and bad times. Yes I know. Express yourself to Him and He will never get bored and angry. Express yourself to human being, yes they will listen for 1 or 2 days but as time goes by, they wil get bored and tired and cannot be bothered about you anymore. Trust Allah more than any other things else ok.

Yes, I love my parents. I love them sooooo much. I love my two brothers too. Luckily that they are younger than me and are still in their teenhood. They never fail to make me smile and laugh. I know I have good brothers. I feel so happy to be born as their elder sister. I love them all. I love all my male next of kin around me; they are my dad and my two brothers. I have wonderful male 'wali'. How much they make me feel honoured and privileged to be born as a woman and especially a Muslim woman. I thank You Allah for giving me all these ni'maat. Asykuruk ya Rabb!

Those words...

2011-04-08T00:07:00.003+08:00

Please... Don't say those words again for those words really hurt me... It's such a pain to think of it... I know one day I've to face it, whether I like it or not... I'm preparing for it, physically and mentally... I tried to prevent those tears from rolling down my cheeks but I ended up crying... Those words are too meaningful... Those words, yes those words... I can still remember it till now... It scares me and the latest news scares me more... But I know no matter what happens I've to be strong for everyone I love.. I'm the one who has to be the strongest.. I know.. I take those words and I promise to myself to take care of everything. I'll ensure things will be as good as it is though I know it's still going different. It's always sad to think how life has changed, how time flies and everything is different now and forever.

You are no longer the person whom I used to know many years ago and I accept it. Time really flies. The bond and the rapport have made me realise how important you are in my life. For your information, you are among those who are able to touch my heart with your words and this is the third time. The first and second time were a few years ago before I embarked on a journey that has changed my life. A journey that has made me become a better person I hope and the most important thing is a strong person for what I went through back then was superb, excellent and fantastic.

Honestly, I'm not sure whether I'm the most sensitive person on earth or not but I believe I'm not... You may see me so tender, gentle, soft-spoken and demure but trust me I'm that stubborn, pig-headed, tough and firm girl. I know you know that. However, for your information, at times, I do cry. I do break down when things touch my heart, when things fall apart. Yes, I do cry whether silently or really really cry with tears rolling down my cheeks. People may never see me cry or regard me as strong and tough. Deep inside, deep deep down in my heart, only Allah knows best...

Entahlah...

2011-04-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

Sedihnya.. Tak tahu nak cakap dengan siapa.. Macam-macam ada dalam fikiran.. Entah dengan siapa nak cakap.. Dlm dunia ni dah takde manusia lagikan.. Dengan blog ni ajelah.. Rasa diri ni tak guna, terhinanya diri ini.. Rasa mcm nak lari ke tepi laut, cari tempat yang tidak ada orang dan meraung sekuat-kuatnya.. Nak nangis sepuas-puasnya.. Minta maaflah kalau sepatutnya saya gunakan blog ini untuk purpose yang more educational and informative, instead saya gunakan untuk luahkan perasaan. Maaflah kalau saya tak act like I'm supposed to act. Saya juga manusia, punya rasa sedih, marah dan geram.. Macam-macam lagi.. Kalau sekarang ni dapat saya ke satu tempat tenang yang tidak ada seorang pun manusia, ingin aje saya lepaskan perasaan saya sepuas-puasnya..

I Love Them!!!

2010-09-01T15:39:00.004+08:00

I am supposed to do my work, yes finishing my dissertation but the mood keeps going up and down because now, my heart, soul and spirit are back there in Singapore. I can't wait to be back there to see my family and spend the time with them. Still, don't worry, I'm struggling hard here. :) Trying to balance between everything. Although I am so homesick, but I am happy. Happy with the life that Allah has given me. Happy with everything that Allah has grant me. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for You are full of mercy and compassion.

This time, I'm going to write about the men of my life. It's plural, not singular. How much I realise how good it is to be born as a girl, lady, woman.. Thank you Allah. There are many writings and attribution for woman but now I as a woman am writing for man. I hope the woman of my life will not feel jealous about this. I hope not. :) Mak, no matter what, you are still special ok. It is common that we celebrate and acknowledge the sacrifice of mothers, of women. We hardly talk about what the men in our lives have done for us.

This entry is attributed specially for all the men and boys in my life. First it is for my father, then it is for my brothers. They are so wonderful to me. They are the best!! Thank you so much for the super nice treatment that you have given to me. Thank you so much for always portraying to me that being born as a woman is very fortunate and lucky. Thank you abah and my two brothers! I really love you!!! :)

Patience and Strength

2010-08-13T17:05:00.003+08:00

Oh Allah, please give me strength to go through every test of my life. I'm too weak to go through everything by myself.. I'm so sick and tired. I can't concentrate on my work. I have piles and piles of work to do. Tonnes and tonnes of workload are seeking for my attention. Come on dear self, it's the beginning of Ramadan and you shouldn't be like this. Aren't you always excited when it's Ramadan? Yes, yes, but I'm more excited if I celebrate Ramadan in Singapore with my beloved family or if I celebrate Ramadan in Egypt, but not here in Penang. The sad part about celebrating Ramadan this year is that I greet it while being not so well; physically and mentally. I need You Allah, I really I need You. I know You are the All-Knowing and Your love is beyond the boundary of every other's love. I know You are here with me. Please Allah, grant me patience and bestow upon me strength to face this challenge. :'(

Hati yang kau sakiti...

2010-08-12T22:11:00.002+08:00

Untuk ke sekian kalinya.. Hati ini disakiti lagi.. Sedih.. Tak terkata.. This is so painful, such a throbbing pain.. Sakitnya hanya Allah yang tahu.. Ya Allah, forgive me and please grant me patience and strength to go through this painful feeling...

Muhasabah

2010-07-08T11:16:00.002+08:00

Kadang-kadang saya merasa amat sedih mengenangkan Rasulullah dan melihat kita semua umat baginda. Kita sering melaung-laungkan yang kita sayang pada baginda, kita ingin meneruskan perjuangan Rasulullah, ingin menghidupkan Sunnah baginda tapi fikir-fikirkanlah apa Rasulullah rasa kalau baginda ada sekarang dan melihat keadaan kita semua? Pasti baginda sedih melihat kita semua. Saya sedih, teramat sedih. Malunya saya hendak mengaku diri pengikut Rasulullah, malunya saya hendak mengaku yang saya mencintai baginda. Memang mudah melaungkan mari kita hidupkan sunnah Rasulullah, mari kita hidup berpandukan al-Quran dan al-Sunnah tapi kadang-kadang apa yang kita buat jauh menyimpang dari kedua-dua sumber utama Islam ini. Life is like that.. Easier said than done... *sob*sob*

Ya Allah, terima kasih di atas nikmat Islam dan iman...

2010-07-03T11:11:00.006+08:00

Ya Allah, terima kasih kerana mengurniakan saya Islam dan iman. Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga. I thank You Allah for everything that You bestowed upon me. Sedihnya bila menghitung nikmat ini. Sedih yang tidak terhingga. Sedih kerana Allah menyelamatkan saya. Hanya keimanan yang menyelamatkan seseorang dari fitnah dunia. Ya Allah terima kasih kerana mengurniakan saya kedua-dua akal sihat yang mampu berfikir dan sering berfikir dan hati yang dilimpahi nurMu. Kalau tidak kerana nurMu ini mungkin juga saya tidak mempunyai apa yang saya punyai sekarang.

Saya bukanlah manusia yang mudah tunduk dan patuh kepada sesuatu, saya seorang yang kritikal, analitikal, suka bertanya, suka berfikir dan suka mencari sesuatu. Tapi apa yang saya sering cari ialah kebenaran. Saya bukan mencari jalan mudah atau jalan bersuka-ria. Life is too short for merely entertainment. ALHAMDULILLAH, AGAMA MAMPU MENYELAMATKAN SAYA. Saya ingat lagi dulu masa zaman secondary school saya heard about tarekat and tasauf. Oh God, what's tarekat and tasauf? Is this really the way of making yourself near to Allah or the only way of bringing you closer to Him? Saya pun did my homework. Bersungguh-sungguh cari, baca, bertanya. What I found out did not really interest me. The way they do the ibadah is not my style. Don't get yourself wrong. I enjot solat, reading the quran, doing good deeds, it really is giving me the sense of contentment and happiness but the idea of zikir-zikir goyang kepala and the idea of forming an exclusive jemaah is not my style. Kadang-kadang ada unsur magic magic yang saya seriously tak boleh terima. Saya manusia yang logik dan saintifik ok so kalau benda start to magic magic, saya dah mula sceptical. Saya pernah dengar yang ada pengikut ambil gambar dgn Syeikhnya yang dah meninggal. Hey, come on, orang dah meninggal, roh dia dah berada di alam barzakh. Syeikh tarekat pun manusia biasa juga kan? I believe Islam is not as complicated as this. Rasulullah SAW yang dah wafat pun tak kembali lagi ke dunia. Rohnya bersama-sama Allah di alam barzakh. Sedihnya saya bila bercakap tentang Rasulullah. Sedih mengenangkan segala perjuangan Rasulullah dan kepayahan yang baginda lalui. Apa yang kita lalui sekarang? Baru deal dgn student yang datang lambat je kita dah tak sabar. Mungkin bkn awklah tapi saya. Ok ok, back to tarekat tadi, I began to quesstion is this really what Islam is all about? I know that Islam is a great religion. Dalam Islam no such thing as benda-benda khurafat ni. Saya tak puas hati kalau ada benda pelik yang orang practise and claim as agama. Saya mesti bersungguh-sungguh nak mencari kebenaran. Now, I've found the ans. Utk orang-orang tarekat, jgnlah marah ye tapi saya tak interested sangat dengan cara tarekat ni. Kalau amalan dah mula menyimpang dari Al-Quran dan Al-Sunnah, saya rasa anda patut sedar tapi kalau takde yang menyimpang, itu hak anda. Saya hormati apa yang anda lakukan selagi anda tak kacau saya.

Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga kepada mak dan abah yang selama ini bersungguh-sungguh mendidik saya dengan didikan agama. Keindahan agama membuatkan saya tunduk dan patuh. Ya Allah terima kasih lagi sekali. *sob*sob*

Mak dan abah selalu cerita yang masa saya kecil, saya suka bertanya, semua yang saya nampak, saya observe dan tanya. Kadang-kadang saya tanya soalan yang tak mampu dijawab, soalan yang lebih layak utk orang dewasa. Antara yang saya ingat abah cerita saya tanya macam mana hujan boleh terjadi. Masa tu saya belum masuk darjah satu pun. Kelakar juga. Budak-budak boleh faham ke benda saintifik yang begitu? Saya pun tak ingat mcm mana abah layan saya pada ketika itu. Mesti penat mak dan abah dulu layan soalan-soalan tak penting saya.

Saya mula relax sikit bila saya mula sekolah. Ramai yang tak suka soalan 'bodoh' saya. Saya tahu kadang-kadang saya boleh jadi irritating, lama-lama as saya grow up saya sering cari jawapan sendiri. Dan saya berterima kasih kepada Allah kerana dalam pencarian saya Allah sering selamatkan saya. Saya bernasib baik saya punya mak dan abah yang sangat supportive. Apa-apa yang saya ada doubt, saya cari, dapat jawapan dan saya tanya mereka. Betul ke macam gini? Betul ke macam gitu? Bayangkan kalau saya tidak dipelihara Allah. Terima kasih Ya Allah kerana mengurniakan saya akal yang sihat. Hmmm.. Kadang-kadang saya terfikir juga, proses didikan seorang anak itu bermula dari dalam kandungan lagi kan.. Apa ye yang mak saya buat dan amalkan sampai saya jadi seorang yang aktif sangat berfikir dan bertanya soalan.. Hahaha.. Oh ya, mak saya cakap dia suka aktiviti lasak, suka masuk masuk hutan so jadilah saya yang suka masuk hutan berfikir, kusutkan fikiran. Hahaha...

Saya seringkali diusik atau diperli kawan-kawan. 'Puti suka berbual benda-benda world', 'Puti ni suka sangat tanya soalan', 'Puti kalau tanya soalan macam boleh dapat 1000 gitu kalau boleh jawab soalan dia', 'Puti boleh tak stop fikir, jgn fikir banyak-banyak lah'. Remarks yang begini yang buat saya semakin relax. Saya pernah rasa saya benci environment saya, saya rasa saya tak deserve hidup kat dunia ni sebab saya pelik. Saya pernah rasa sedih. Benda kecil yang saya tengok pun boleh mencetuskan persoalan. Sebagai contoh, melihat laptop, saya boleh terfikir, apa yg ada dlm laptop ni eh? Macam mana org pertama yg jumpa chip dlm laptop first discovered that chip can save memories? Mcm mana they conduct the experiment? Saya bukan computer expert so saya tertanya-tanya sebab saya tak tahu dan nak tahu. Kadang-kadang melihat kepada adat sesuatu bangsa, saya mula berfikir, macam mana boleh ada adat yang begini? Pelik juga. Manusia ni innovative ye. Siapa manusia pertama yang cipta adat begini? Mungkin persoalan begini ada dalam sejarah. Dan banyak lagi soalan pelik yang selalu ada dalam kepala saya. Kalau duduk dalam bas sejam, macam-macam isu boleh berlegar di kepala saya. Dari masalah dunia kepada masalah peribadi, bilalah nak kahwin? hahahahahaha.. Takdelah gurau je!

Sekarang ni yang penting, saya sangat merasa bersyukur sebab saya dikurniakan nikmat Islam dan iman. Semoga Allah sentiasa memberikan saya petunjuk dan hidayahNya. Abah, janganlah terlalu risaukan saya ok. Berdoalah sentiasa supaya saya menjadi hamba Allah yang solehah, anak yang solehah, insan yang solehah dan nanti isteri dan ibu yang solehah *wink*. Saya tahu di luar, dunia ini tak seindah dalam rumah di mana saya dijaga dan dididik dengan baik. Dunia penuh dengan ujian. Ujian iman, ujian intellectual. Kita semua terdedah kepada berbagai-bagai budaya. Berbagai-bagai teori. Sekarang ni dengan hedonisme nya, dengan liberalisme nya and you name it.. Di universiti pun dulu saya belajar bahasa so pendedahan kepada benda yg unislamic very ketara, nak banding dgn kwn2 yg belajar Tafsir, Hadis dan Syariah. Sekarang, lagilah macam-macam. Memang ada combination of Islamic and unislamic tapi banyak juga kena tahu benda yang tak Islamic tu. Hehehe.. Saya dah biasa pun belajar benda yang tak baik sangat ni. Dulu all the poets pun bkn baik mana. Semua terpesong lagi ada. Kalau nak banding dgn kawan-kawan yang belajar tentang mufassir, muhaddith.. Ha'ula' fi thariqin mustaqim. Mereka ni di jalan yang lurus.

Bagi saya hidayah milik Allah.. Belajarlah agama dari umur 4 tahun sampai doctorate pun tapi kalau hati tidak terbuka utk menerima hidayah Allah, mcm gitulah juga. Kalau belajar bukan utk mencari kebenaran, hanya mengejar nama, sehelai kertas dan pangkat dunia, selama-lamanya kita hilang dalam angan-angan sendiri. Belajarlah apa pun, niatkan utk Allah, niatkan utk menaikkan Islam (biar progresif sikit org Islam ni) dan yang penting utk mencari kebenaran, pasti Allah bukakan jalan.. Kalau belajar nak kejar certificate just for the sake of name, so that people will call u Dr, people will think that you are clever, fikir-fikirkanlah ok. Clever does not mean intellectual and inteligent. We need more than papers. Muhasabahlah diri sendiri. Rasulullah SAW tak ada cert apa-apa pun but he was a great man. His contribution was indeed stellar. Imam Syafie tak pergi universiti pun tapi dia mampu utk menggegarkan dunia Islam dengan his school of thought in the field of Islamic jurisprudence. Some distinguished individuals from the West tak ada doctorate pun, just uni degree tapi manage to contribute to the world. Org Islam sekarang contribute apa? Crimes? Bombing sana sini? Social problems? It's time to balance between both; papers and contribution. Saya tak cakap jangan kejar ilmu, kejarlah ilmu sebanyak mana pun tapi pastikan ia bukan utk kepentingan diri yang tiada berkesudahan... Dunia kalau dikejar sampai kiamat pun tak habis...

Preserving my dignity, modesty and integrity... :)

2010-07-01T09:03:00.002+08:00

I really like the following song by Sami Yusuf about woman wearing the headscarf. Dedicated to all my sisters who take the courage to cover their hair by wearing the hijab. :)

What goes through your mind?
As you sit there looking at me
Well I can tell from your looks
That you think I’m so oppressed
But I don’t need for you to liberate me

My head is not bare
And you can’t see my covered hair
So you sit there and you stare
And you judge me with your glare
You’re sure I’m in despair
But are you not aware
Under this scarf that I wear
I have feelings, and I do care

So don’t you see?
That I’m truly free
This piece of scarf on me
I wear so proudly
To preserve my dignity
My modesty
My integrity
So don’t judge me
Open your eyes and see...

“Why can’t you just accept me?” she says
“Why can’t I just be me?” she says
Time and time again
You speak of democracy
Yet you rob me of my liberty
And all I want is equality
Why can’t you just let me be free?

For you I sing this song
My sister, may you always be strong
From you I’ve learnt so much
How you suffer so much
Yet you forgive those who laugh at you
You walk with no fear
Through the insults you hear
Your wish so sincere
That they’d understand you
But before you walk away
This time you turn and say

But don’t you see?
That I’m truly free
This piece of scarf on me
I wear so proudly
To preserve my dignity
My modesty
My integrity
So let me be
She says with a smile
I’m the one who’s free

The nasyid that look good to my eyes

2010-06-28T12:15:00.004+08:00

Honestly, I admit that I am not a music fanatic. I think music is not an essetial and vital element that you need it like air and water. I believe human beings can live without music. Despite that I listen to music and I listen to all kinds of music; Malay, English, Arabic and Islamic songs or in other word, nasyid. I am not that 'alim', 'baik-baik' type, who listens to nasyid only. Oh yeah but please be reminded that my preference is SLOW music. Bkn yang memekakkan telinga, yang boleh kasi saya migraine. What kind of art is this? Kalau dah terpekik terpekau mcm orang hilang akal.. Must be really insane. Sorry to criticise on this uh.

Oh yeah and if you ask me, 'is music halal in Islam?', I honestly would answer you I am not very sure about the hukum of listening to music. There are many arguments on this subject matter and I am neither an Islamic theologian nor a cleric, so you better ask those who are specialised in this field. I don't dare to say it's halal but if I say it's haram, some may not agree with me. If you want to be on the safe side, I would advise you to leave behind whatever matters that you are not sure of and just do what you are very confident about. There is a hadith from Prophet Muhammad SAW that says: "Da' ma yaribuka ila ma la yaribuka" which means "Leave that about which you are in doubt for that about which you are in no doubt." This is just my advice, but still I am not the goody two-shoes who does not listen to music. I listen to it too so don't take me as your example on this matter. If I am on the correct side then you may look up to it but if I am on the wrong track please don't follow it and you may advise me. Insya Allah, I will not be offended by that. Arghhh this suddenly reminds me of another verse from the holy Koran, surah As-Saff: 2-3 "O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allah that you say that which you do not do". Oh Allah, please forgive me, I know I am not a good girl and not a good servant to You but I'll try my best to please You ok.

Ok too much of digressions. My main intention of writing this post is actually to talk about few nice nasyid that sound nice to my ears. This time the nasyid is a bit on 'cinta-cinta'. Hahaha.. I would usually introduce a nasyid that is very 'ketuhanan', celestial; that talks about Allah, love for Him, a servant's lament and about being His humble servant. This time it's a bit different. Hehe.. Don't get yourself wrong. Don't you dare say I'm in love.. Huhuhu.. But I believe everyone wants to be in love right? Ok ok, my reason for turning to this song is because I think though we love someone, planning to get married and bla bla bla, but it is still very important to pray to Him for guidance. Walau bagaimanapun keadaannya, kita perlu sentiasa berdoakan supaya orang yang kita harapkan tu memang jadi milik kita. Rasanya dlm mencari cinta dunia ni perlu berdoa. Bkn main asal boleh je, asal the opposite of gender kita main ambil. Other than that, I think there is a need to look for the perfect person, berdoa aje tak cukup juga. Ceh ceh, cakap ni jgn kena kat diri sendiri pula. Insya Allah tak. In loving someone also, I personally believe that we have to be smart. Yes smart, it's up to you to define the meaning smart in this context but I personally believe that at the first stage don't give too much of your heart to the person, learn to love and doa banyak-banyak, minta pertolongan Allah. Love more after we are permissibly tied to the person. And the most important thing is jaga diri dan akhlak sebagai orang Islam, proses perkahwinan bermula dari awal perkenalan lagi. Hehehe.. out of sudden saya dah macam love doctor. Taklah, I've been wanting to write on this and especially on the nice songs for quite a long time already but I keep delaying that intention till today.

Ok, so let's get back to the nasyid. There are quite few nasyid that I think sound nice to my ears. These songs are actually introduced to me by friends and colleagues. They are more advanced than I am ok. I am quite outdated when it comes to this type of nasyid. Hahaha.. Not really but to tell you the truth I am not into lovey-dovey nasyid. I will start to listen to it if only it was introduced to me by somebody else. That bad uh? But now here I am, doing the 'job' of those friends, promoting these songs.

The songs that I like are Siti Zulaikha by DeHearty. I like some of the parts, maybe can contemplate the meaning behind it.

Seandainya tercatat dia milikku
Seandainya tercatat dia untukku
Dekatkanlah daku bermesra padu
Bahagia sentiasa setiap waktu

Tak ingin daku kecewa bercinta
Andai milik bukanlah takdirnya
Bawalah dia sesaujana mata
Biarlah luput kerlipan permata

There are more lyrics after that but these are among the parts that I like. Another song is Doa Seorang Kekasih by In-Team. Honestly, I don't really like this song but the lyrics are not bad. Hahaha.. I think I listened to it only once or twice but it has nice meaning behind the lyrics. Good for those people who are looking for soul mate. Hahaha..

Oh Tuhan, seandainya telah Kau catatkan
Dia milikku, tercipta untuk diriku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan

Ya Allah, ku mohon
Apa yang telah Kau takdirkan
Ku harap dia adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau tahu segala isi hatiku
Pelihara daku dari kemurkaanMu

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pemurah
Beri kekuatan jua harapan
Membina diri yang lesu tak bermaya
Semaikan setulus kasih di jiwa

Ku pasrah kepadaMu
Kurniakanlah aku
Pasangan yang beriman
Bisa menemani aku
Supaya ku dan dia
Dapat melayar bahtera
Ke muara cinta yang Engkau redhai

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pengasih
Engkau sahaja pemeliharaku
Dengarkan rintihan hambaMu ini
Jangan Engkau biarkan ku sendiri

Agarku bisa bahagia
Walau tanpa bersamanya
Gantikanlah yang hilang
Tumbuhkan yang telah patah
Ku inginkan bahagia
Di dunia dan akhirat
PadaMu Tuhan ku mohon segala

Another song that I think sounds quite great to my ears is Permata yang Dicari by hmmmm... I think In-Team. This song is more suitable for a guy but I like some of the parts in the song.

Ya Allah
Jika dia benar untukku
Dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Jika dia bukan milikku
Damaikanlah hatiku
Dengan ketentuan-Mu

Dialah permata yang dicari
Selama ini baru kutemui
Tapi ku tak pasti rencana Ilahi
Apakah dia kan kumiliki
Tidak sekali dinodai nafsu
Akan kubatasi dengan syariat-Mu
Jika dirinya bukan untukku
Redha hatiku dengan ketentuan-Mu

Ok. I think 3 songs are enough. Hahaha.. Although these songs sound good to my ears, more specific I should say THE LYRICS LOOK GOOD TO MY EYES but I am not a big fan of In-Team and DeHearty. Takde feeling langsung dengan all these nasyid groups. Asyik nyanyi lagu nasyid cinta je, in a way kadang-kadang macam geli juga dengar nasyid cinta-cinta ni. Tapi tak semua yang 'menyeramkan'. Mcm 3 nasyid di atas ni oklah juga dari yang lain.. Ok tata... Jumpa lain kali ok. Let's enjoy ourselves with life. Life is short so live life to the fullest. Do not waste a single breathe on unnecessary things and mourning about unimportant matters. :)

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih

2010-06-25T10:01:00.003+08:00

Bertuturlah cinta mengucap satu nama
Seindah goresan sabdaMu dalam kitabku
Cinta yang bertasbih mengutus hati ini
Ku sandarkan hidup dan matiku padaMu

This is the first part of the Ketika Cinta Bertasbih song. I like the movie so much. Yes so much and the song too. Some may say that KCB is such a boring movie, very slow, very tragic.. Whatever is their comment but I like it and nothing could ever change the fact. I admit that I prefer slow movies, but that does not mean that it is only restricted to hopeless romantic movies. Some family movies and historical movies are quite slow and I enjoy that. I have a weird taste of movie compared to my friends.

Back to Ketika Cinta Bertasbih, I am not a film critic and I'm not a drama and theatre or filming student but somehow I learn about drama in literature. Furthermore KCB is a movie adapted from the novel. Analysing the work in a novel is also part of literature. Yes can still remember those days when I learnt about Cleopatra, Sophocles, Pygmallion and the list continues. Ok, enough of the digression. Hmmmm.. I still have passion for language. I am not that well-off in the world of literature and drama but I think KCB has a bit of a tragedy drama feature. Perhaps, that's what I can see and analyse. I am still not very sure because I'm not very well-off in the drama field. I think I'm better at linguistics than literature. This is just what I analyse. Just putting my two cents worth. In drama, we have tragedy and comedy and even tragicomedy. These are among what I can remember and among what I learnt. If there's any other than those forgive me for I don't have the knowledge. Ok ok enough about literature and drama. Dear self, now you should acquire more knowledge on development, Islamic development, ethnicity, pluralism (so much of a social science) and digest those about management and Islamic management for your future use. Wahai diri, jangan belajar utk exam je, because u want to achieve flying colours CGPA. Belajar utk ilmu juga.

Ok ok. What I want to say here is we should produce more of this kind of movies. Yes, it's a bit Islamic, people might question who is going to watch that kind of movie. I'm sure there are people who are going to watch and I'm one of them. When we help Allah and His Prophet SAW, Allah will help us. When we do something for Allah and His prophet SAW, Allah will help us and open the way for us, make everything smooth and facilitate us. Have faith in Him. Kena baik sangka selalu dengan Allah. :)

Hmmm.. I hope I like this movie not because I'm being biased as it illustrates the life of Azharites. (But not really uh. Not all Azharites go through the same experience and not all go through the same love life as Anna, Azzam and Furqan). I like it because of its flow and plot. And one more thing, it is Islamic, takde adegan yang bukan-bukan. The first movie that illustrates the life of Azharites is Ayat-ayat Cinta, the movie is not so bad though but it cannot portray a 100% Islamic movie. Ada adegan yang tak perlu. I disagree with the fact that to produce a movie, the movie must have those 'unnecessary actions', especially when we talk about producing Islamic movies. It defeats the purpose of Islamic movie. Islamic movie should be clean and decent, far from those unwanted actions. Although the action in AAC is between Fahri and Aishah, husband and wife but it doesn't have to be illustrated there. Make it more like KCB. Subtle, indirect yet we as human beings can understand. It's all about values. But I admit that despite that short scene I like AAC too. It also carries many good moral and Islamic values.

I can see that nowadays, the movie industries in Indonesia and Malaysia have started to produce movies with good values. We have Kiamat Sudah Dekat, Ayat-ayat Cinta, Ketika Cinta Bertasbih, Laskar Pelangi and Perempuan Berkalung Sorban. As for Malaysia, we have Cinta Madinah, Julia and the latest is Nur Kasih. I don't really watch all the series but I can sense that it's good. We should use the media as a medium for dakwah. Media is beneficial if we know how to benefit it wisely. Media can also lead us to social problems if we do not use it wisely. It's us who make the decision. Just like a knife. If we use the knife to cut meat or use it for necessary purpose then it is good for us but if we use the knife to commit a murder then we are not benefiting from the knife. Instead we use the knife to book a ticket to the death penalty. We are the ones who determine it, we are the ones who colour our life, not others and not also the media. :)

Duhai hati...

2010-06-16T01:18:00.005+08:00

Ya Allah, aku hanya mampu bermohon kepadaMu agar Kau kurniakanku kekuatan untuk mengharungi kesabaran yang Kau kurniakan ini.. Andai ini yang terbaik buatku dan andai dalam keadaan ini membuat Kau lebih redha kepadaku dan aku lebih dekat padaMu, aku redha, aku terima segalanya.. Cuma, berikanlah aku sepenuh kekuatan.. Kekerdilanku membuat aku terasa aku tak mampu nak hadapi semua ini. Aku perlukan pimpinan dariMu Ya Allah. Aku tahu dan pasti Kau sentiasa bersamaku walaupun aku selalu lupa padaMU

Oh Allah let me face this wholeheartedly.. Let me face this with smiles and happiness.. Oh Allah, You know what is in my heart for I'm lost for words to express my feelings. You know right I have problems expressing myself.. Therefore I leave it to You to listen to my heart.. The most important this is ana arju rahmatak Ya Allah. Ana ahtaju ilaika kullal ihtiyaj war rajaa'. Ya qalbi, ithmain, fa innallah ma'ana wa yasma'u du'aana wa rajaana.

اطمإن يا قلبي، لا تحزن ولا تقلق فإن الله معنا. ابتسم يا نفسي فإن الحياة لا تنتهي بالسآمة والسرور

Cintailah bahasa Ibunda, Cintailah budaya pusaka...

2010-05-26T23:38:00.005+08:00

I am neither an expert in English Language nor Malay Language but my passion for all the languages that I know and understand makes me speak for this. I agree that English Language is vital in this modern and fast developing world. This is in order for us to get a grasp of the modern knowledge and to be able to compete at the international level. However, our mother tongue is also important. Malays with the Malay Language, Chinese with the Mandarin Language, Indians with the Tamil Language and the same goes to other races. No matter how advanced and developed we are, we shouldn't forget our roots and origins. Knowing and understanding a certain language is a gateway to new knowledge and culture.

"Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow." Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Bahasa jiwa bangsa."

"Bahasa jiwa bangsa." "Yang kurik itu kundi, Yang merah itu saga, Yang baik itu budi, Yang indah itu bahasa."

"إن من البيان لسحرا"

The following is one of my favourite songs. It is really a nice song on preserving our mother tongue (for those who are Malay, we share the term 'our'), Bahasa Melayu. The title of the song is 'Bahasa Menjunjung Budaya'. Although I admit that I don't understand some of the meaning of the words and phrases but I appreciate it so much. People may find it funny for me to like this type of song. Songs and the art of writing are supposed to be channeled for a certain remarkable purpose and shouldn't be used merely for entertainment and enjoyment. Due to too much of entertainment and enjoyment, it has resulted in the culture of hedonism and hedonism has become one of the youngsters's lifestyle. Ok, too much of a digression. Back to the topic on language. The following song is actually a theme song for Bulan Bahasa in Singapore. Read it or sing it of you know the song and last but not least.. Enjoy!!

Bahasa Menjunjung Budaya

Mari bangsaku mari saudara
Kita gunakan bahasa bunda
Sebagai lidah penggugah rasa
Cinta bahasa cinta budaya

Demi cinta kepada budaya
Kita penatar bahasa bunda
Bahasa maju budaya jaya
Maruah bangsa terpelihara

Cintailah bahasa ibunda
Cintailah budaya pusaka
Bahasa yang menjunjung budaya
Budaya nilai maruah bangsa

To all my beloved ISDEVians...

2010-05-24T02:00:00.004+08:00

I've been wanting to write this humble writing of mine since quite a some time ago but I don't understand why I procrastinated and procrastinated till it's few months since the incident happened. I dedicate this entry specially for all my beloved ISDEVians; friends and lecturers. I want to express my sincere gratitude to all of you for your kind help and support when an unwanted tragedy hit me a few months ago. I will never ever forget whatever that you have done for me. It was truly a great yet touching experience. Honestly I was and am so touched, till today and hopefully till the end of my life. Only Allah will reward you for what you have done. It really could push away all the worries and whatever anxiety that my parents have in mind (Mak, abah, take note of this, if you read my blog.. hmmm...). Trust me Mak, Abah that Penangites and all the people around me here in Penang are good and nice people. In fact, they are so good that I don’t know how to express it in words.

It all happened back then in October when I went back to Singapore because I had something quite important to do back there. It wasn’t somewhere in the semester break, it was after the semester break and when we were all busy preparing to submit our research proposals. It all happened when I reached Penang. I reached Penang at about 7.00 am and Aimi was the one who fetched me. I reached Sungai Nibong bus station before Aimi did, so I waited for her at a pavement near the road where vehicles other than the coaches can go in. This time I came back to Penang with food from Singapore which we can’t find it in Penang. My parents were the ones who were responsible in buying such a large amount of food. I brought ‘karipap’ to Penang; the Singapore version of ‘karipap’ which you can’t find it in the pearl of the orient. For your information, we Singaporeans don’t call the ‘karipap’ that Malaysians call ‘karipap’ as ‘karipap’, we call it ‘epok-epok’. Our version of ‘karipap’ is the one that I brought during the so-called tragic tragedy :D.

When Aimi reached the station, I happily prepared myself to go to her car, when out of sudden I stepped down the pavement and lost control, couldn’t balance myself and I fell flat on the ground. What I was thinking at that time was to save my laptop and the food that I brought. Yes, my laptop ok and the 'karipap'. I didn’t think of myself. (Isy isy, dunia semua ni, dunia. Boleh pula nak fikirkan laptop and the karipap eh. Kesihatan diri tak mau fikir dulu tau). After ensuring that my laptop and the 'karipap' were safe then I started to think of myself. And that was when I realised that my right foot was so painful, yes so painful that I couldn’t get up and stand. It was a very throbbing pain that I couldn’t express it. I was totally lost for words. What I knew was that my right foot was folded and I sat on it like a frog, so I actually put all my body weight on the foot. I couldn’t cry (Isy tak macho lah kalau nangis, hidup mesti kuat beb!). At that time what I was hoping was for Aimi to see what was happening to me and to come to the rescue. At first, she didn't realise that I had become a frog on the ground. Unfortunately, I couldn’t call for her because I knew she couldn’t hear me if I did that. It was quite a distance between the place where I fell and Aimi's car. It took quite few seconds before Aimi realised that I was flat on the ground. Before she saw it, a few ‘abang-abang’ that were around the area saw the tragedy and came to me to help. They were the ones who helped me to get up other than Aimi. (Isy dah tak boleh nak ingat macam mana the way all those abang-abang helped me, entah siapa yang pulled me up). At that point of time, what bothered me in my head was ‘Kaki aku! Sakitnya!, Ya Allah sakitnya, tak terkata’. (Memang masa tu dah merintih dan menangis dalam hati yang kaki ni terlalu sakit). I couldn't think of other thing else. The funny thing was when I saw Aimi’s face. Hahaha.. She looked so panic, so shocked. Sorry Aimi, but seriously your face at that time was so funny and cute.

When I was already in Aimi’s car, I thought the pain might go away. I tried to relax myself but it was seriously so hurtful. I couldn't really bend and move it. Aimi then suggested that we should go and see the doctor. Aimi sent me back to my room first as it was still early in the morning and she needed to run an errand before coming back to USM. She said later at around 8.30 am she would come to fetch me and we would go to the USM clinic together.

The tragedy happened on Tuesday morning. As usual on Tuesday we had Research Methodology by our beloved Dr Zaini or Dr Fatah or Dr Nailul or Dr Shakirah. When I had the accident, it was already towards the end of the semester so that Tuesday was proposal presentation by the third group. Luckily I was in the second group so I had presented the week before.

The above mentioned anecdote is the background and the problem statement why I am writing this piece of gratitude compliment. Now, I think is the best time to begin with my intention. To begin with, in general I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation to all ISDEVians; friends and lecturers for your support when I had to face this hardship. Your support and help really strengthened my patience, tolerance and endurance. I would also like to say thank you so much to Aimi for fetching me from Sg. Nibong, for sending me to the clinic, for waiting with me at the clinic till she had to skip the first hour of Dr Zaini’s class and for doing all the errands for me at the clinic. She was the one who went here and there, to and fro for the purpose of my X-Ray and etc. Thank you very much my dear Aimi. I was really touched by your sincere help. I know you don’t ask for me to write on this and to state whatever help that you had rendered for me but this is just a way of saying thanks to you. Only Allah will reward you for all your good deeds that you have done to me.

Other than that, the individuals that deserve the special word of thanks are Dr Zaini for understanding my situation at that point of time. Thank you for allowing Aimi and I to skip the first hour of your class. Sorry to borrow Aimi till she had to join me at the clinic and skipped the first session of the presentation, but if she was not there, I did not know how I could manage all the errands since I was limping and the pace I was walking was like a pace of a tortoise. Thank you dear Dr Zaini for your understanding and being a wonderful and entertaining father to me and us. The credit also goes to Prof Syukri. Thank you very much Prof for your sincere effort in searching a place to ‘urut’ my leg. I was very touched and I don’t know how to express myself. I can still remember you were very determined, earnest and serious about finding a ‘makcik urut’ for me. Thank you so much Prof Syukri. I am very indebted by your sincerity and seriousness in the search of the place to 'urut' specifically and in your effort as one of the founding fathers of ISDEV generally. To Dr Zahri and Dr Zak, thank you so much for your jokes. You really made my day. You may have forgotten this but I can still remember fresh in mind about your jokes about the way I was walking. That jokes really made me entertained and laughed. To Kak Shereeza, thank you very much for sparing the time for me to send me to the 'makcik urut'. Although I know you were very busy juggling between your family and studies but you are indeed a helpful and wonderful sister. May Allah reward you with an abundance amount of khair and hasanah fid dunya wal aakhirah. Thank you to Aimi too, thanks for offering the help to send me to the 'makcik urut' when Kak Shereeza was unavailable. To Inke, thanks a lot for buying me my food and drinks and for being so helpful in helping me with some of my chores when I couldn't walk properly. Thank you so much too for accompanying me when I was a bit lonely and down. Allah bless you always my dear Inke. To Raidah, thanks so much for the lift, care and concern. Thank you for the visits and advices. Thank you for lending me your ears when I was struck with emotional confusion. I hope I can see you again in the future. Thanks to Ifa for your visit. Thanks to Syuhadah for smsing me to ask on my condition. Thank you so much to Lenny for accompanying me to the clinic when I was sick a few days later after I met with the accident. Thank you so much Lenny for always being there for me. Thank you very much everyone. Thank you for being with me through my thick and thin.

Lastly, for those whose names aren't mentioned above, I'm sorry if I forgot you while you also may have done something worthwhile for me or had been with me when I was in pain and distress. By not mentioning your names doesn't mean that I totally forget the good deeds and kindness that you have done for me. To all whose names aren't mentioned above, I thank you for all your help, support and for being with me through thick and thin. Thank you for being there for me and offering me your help. I really appreciate your kindness. Only Allah will reward you.

To all, you might see what you have done for me as something which is simple but that simple act of kindness might remain forever in somebody's heart. Never take a simple thing for granted and never assume that a certain act is simple. A simple act can actually lead to a big outcome. Continue to do good and kindness to every mankind.

Happy Teacher's Day, Selamat Hari Guru, عيد المعلم سعيد

2010-05-17T02:36:00.003+08:00

Every country in this world has its own Teacher’s Day, since I am now a student of the University of Science Malaysia (USM) situated in Penang, Malaysia, let me take the Teacher’s Day in Malaysia which falls on 16 May every year as an opportunity to wish all my teachers and educators a ‘Happy Teacher’s Day’. I would also like to take this opportunity to dedicate this nice song to all my educators and teachers; kindergarten teachers, primary and secondary school teachers, college lecturers, Al-Azhar University lecturers (although I know the probability that they read my blog is very low), USM lecturers and lastly all the teachers of my informal education. Regardless of who you are, you will always be someone who has done a wonderful and excellent job in moulding me to become the person I am today. You are really unique and fantastic. All the credits go to you, all my dear educators; teachers and lecturers. Jazaakumullah khairan kathiran. Only Allah is the one who will reward you, for I am just a normal feeble human being who is incapable of rewarding you with a reward that is proportionate to what you have given to me. This is a song specially dedicated to all my teachers and lecturers.

Lilin Seorang Guru

Pernah langkahku payah
Menuju ke destinasi
Kerana malam gelap
Dan bintang hilang kerdipnya
Menjadikan arahku keliru
Ke timur atau ke barat

Bagai lilin membakar diri
Menerangi kegelapan hati
Kau curahkan bakti dan budi
Jasamu tiada berganti

Namun tanpa rasa payah
Dia memimpin tanganku
Melangkah satu persatu
Dan mencipta jejak impian
Menjadikan arahku jelas
Aku harus ke hadapan

Aku kini rindu
Pada satu nama yang berjasa
Tuhan, beri kekuatan
Untuk mendidikku selamanya
Ku pohon restu kasihMu
Ampunkanlah guru-guruku

Semalam ku lihat dia
Di bibirnya ada kalimah
Yang bergetar saban waktu
Sambil tangan menggenggam lilin
Lilin yang tiada terpadam
Menerangi hidupku kini

PS: Just an information sharing, the Teacher's day is celebrated on 1 September every year in Singapore and on 28 February every year in Egypt.

Rinduku pada Universiti Al-Azhar

2010-02-07T20:34:00.006+08:00

Biar lah apa orang nak kata tentang Al-Azhar, biar lah apa jua kenangan pahit yang pernah dilalui di Mesir, biarkan dan biarkan.. Yang penting rinduku pada bumi Anbiyak itu hanya Allah saja yang tahu.. Yang penting cintaku pada universiti tertua dunia itu hanya Allah saja yang mengerti.. Universiti itu jugalah yang mengajar aku 'lessons of life'.. Universiti itu adalah di antara institusi yang menjadikan aku sebagai manusia. Manusia yang berpijak di bumi nyata. Manusia yang cuba belajar mengenal erti hidup susah di dalam kesenangan yang melimpah ruah. Dan yang penting, manusia yang mengenal Tuhan, manusia yang tahu menilai buruk dan baik perjalanan hidup sebagai manusia..

Biar universiti itu tidak dipandang tinggi di sisi manusia. Biar apa orang nak kata.. Al-Azhar tetap sebuah institusi yang sentiasa di ingatanku, di hatiku.. Moga satu hari nanti masih ada peluang untuk aku menjejakkan lagi kaki ke sana, bertemu dengan teman-teman Arab Mesir yang 'brought sunshine into my life'.. Terima kasih teman.. Shaimaa', Khadijah, Shereen, Kareemah and Anwaar.. Antunna daiman fi du'ai wa qalbi.

Kahwin, Tunang dan Single

2010-01-03T19:11:00.013+08:00

Ermmm.. Sementara menanti mood untuk membaca literature review, ada baiknya kalau saya tulis apa yang terbuku di hati ni. Bukan apa, untuk tidak membuang masa.. Tapi apa yang saya nak tulis ni takdelah ilmiah mana. Not an educational one uh.. So macam buang masa jugalah. Tentang exam tu saya sambung lepas ni ye. Sekarang tengah mood relax relax.. Mood pun ada ups and downs ok. Ni untuk orang macam saya lah. Orang lain saya tak pasti, tak pernah pula merasa jadi orang lain. Apa yang saya nak tulis takdelah penting sangat tapi beberapa hari lepas itulah yang terlintas di fikiran. Ni semua gara-gara Facebook yang tak best tu. Hahaha.. :D FYI, saya bukanlah rajin sangat layan Facebook. Nak apa-apa email, jangan Facebook saya. Buruk padahnya kalau FB saya. :p

Hmmmm.. Kadang-kadang saya rasa susah juga jadi orang dewasa ni ye. Bukan mudah. Tak sangka saya yang dulunya kecil kini bakal mencecah usia 25 tahun.. Isy isy saya dah nak masuk suku abad rupanya.. Rasa macam baru semalam pergi sekolah, pakai uniform sekolah, tahu tahu aje saya dah pun habis basic degree, dah masuk semester kedua master's degree pun.

To make it short, saya sebenarnya nak cakap tentang sekarang ni tengah zaman kawan-kawan saya yang makin ramai mengakhiri zaman single mereka. Nanti nanti!! Jangan salah anggap!! Saya bukanlah desperate nak kahwin. Ini cuma luahan hati aje. Nak kahwin apanya kalau calon pun tak ada lagi. Tolonglah percaya saya yang saya memang SINGLE. Totally single. Single and available. Susah saya nak convince orang yang saya ni single. Semua tak percaya. Apa muka saya ni ada ciri-ciri muka penipu ke?

Tak sangka pula pada tahun lepas ramai kawan-kawan yang berkahwin, ada juga yang hanya bertunang. Kawan-kawan ni semua kawan masa zaman sekolah dulu dan kawan masa di universiti. Tanpa saya sedari sekarang saya sedang melalui usia zaman orang kahwin kahwin, zaman orang tunang tunang. Pada usia saya ni, kalau belum berkahwin pun, ramai yang dah bertunang, atau pun yang dah berpunya. Kebanyakannya begitu. Tapi ramai juga kawan-kawan yang masih single, purely single, totally single macam saya.

Saya rasa saya tak perlu nak kelam kabut fikir tentang kahwin, tunang atau berpunya. Saya mudalah juga. Taklah tua mana kan.. Saya pun sebenarnya rasa belum puas lagi hidup membujang, belum puas lagi enjoy my singleness. Belum bersedia lagi nak mengakhiri zaman tersebut. Melihat orang mendirikan rumahtangga kadang-kadang terlintas juga di fikiran saya bilakah turn saya pula.. Itu cuma lintasan fikiran sahaja. Yang saya pasti ia tidak akan terjadi dalam masa terdekat. Penat juga melayan soalan-soalan yang datang dari berbagai-bagai pihak 'belajar lagi? bila nak kahwin?' Pada bulan November lepas, saya menghadiri satu conference di Singapura, maka terjumpalah beberapa orang kenalan dan ex-classmates. Perbualan kami macam tak sah kalau tak disertakan dengan cepu cemas 'bila nak kahwin', lagi-lagi bila teman tersebut bercerita tentang teman-teman yang dah berkahwin dan bakal menimang cahaya mata. Isy isy, sabarlah dulu, saya masih belum terasa ingin berkahwin. Calon yang sesuai tak jumpa lagi.. Hehehehe... :p

Kadang-kadang saya rasa best juga melihat orang dah berpunya. Bertunang dan berkahwin perlu melalui proses awal juga kan? Hmmm.. Tapi tak semestinya proses tersebut proses 'berpunya' tu. Melihat orang berpunya, tak dapat dinafikan memang mcm best tapi saya tahu saya tak mampu untuk 'berpunya'. Ia seperti melanggar prinsip hidup saya. Saya ingin berkahwin tanpa bercinta sebelum kahwin. Berkenalan itu perlu tapi bukan bercinta. Biarlah ia satu perkenalan yang platonic dan biasa sahaja. Susah jadi saya ni, saya tahu tak mampu menjalani proses 'berpunya' tu. Manusia zaman sekarang takkan mampu terima pendapat dan prinsip saya. Walau apapun jua itulah saya. Saya takkan mampu dan takkan boleh jadi orang lain. Perasaan cemburu melihat orang lain berpunya diatasi oleh prinsip hidup saya itu. Biarlah orang nak cakap saya kolot, kuno, primitif dan apa-apa yang seangkatan dengannya. Tapi itulah saya. Saya juga pemalas. Tak minat melayan-melayan. Tak pandai nak mengambil hati. Biarlah apa orang nak kata. Saya selfish. Saya tak kisah, take it or leave it. Bercinta macam nak rak pun kalau dia bukan jodoh kita maka tetap tak menjadi.

Apa yang saya percaya Allah Maha Adil, Allah dah tulis rezeki, jodoh dan ajal setiap dari hambaNya. Saya menyerahkan segalanya kepada Allah. Lambat atau cepat bukan satu masalah. Biar lambat asal selamat. Sekarang bukan masa untuk bermain-main lagi. Nak pilih pasangan bukan perkara mudah. Pilih pasangan bukan pilih baju. Nak pakai, tak nak buang. Lagi-lagi melihat manusia zaman sekarang, saya jadi seram sendiri. Saya jadi gerun. Apa-apa pun biar lambat asal selamat. Kalau tak ada langsung pun Allah lebih mengetahui. 25 bukanlah satu usia saya perlu cepat-cepat mencari. Relax relax. Kalau ramai yang dah berpunya, bertunang dan berkahwin, ramai juga lagi yang masih membujang seperti saya. Tidak perlu kelam-kabut.

Kalau ada kawan-kawan di luar sana yang dah berpunya tapi belum berkahwin atau bertunang, tak perlu risau sebab saya dan ramai lagi yang masih belum berkahwin dan berpunya tapi kalau boleh cepat-cepat buat yang terbaik tu sebab makin lama begitu kurang manis dipandang orang, pandai-pandai ya jaga diri dan nama baik. Kalau ada pula yang seperti saya, belum berkahwin dan belum berpunya, tidak perlu risau, ramai lagi yang seperti anda, perjalanan hidup masih jauh dan ada banyak lagi benda bermanfaat yang boleh kita explore selain dari berfikir dan risau tentang tidak berpunya. Itu tidak membawa maksud kita tak laku. Allah lagi Maha Mengetahui. Kadang-kadang apa yang kita rasa baik buat kita belum tentu baik bagi Allah dan apa yang kita rasa tidak baik bagi kita sebenarnya itulah yang terbaik buat kita. Untuk yang dah bertunang, saya doakan agar kekal hingga ke gerbang perkahwinan. Untuk yang sudah mendirikan masjid, saya doakan ia berkekalan hingga ke syurga dan semoga dikurniakan zuriat soleh solehah, zuriat yang dapat menaikkan martabat agama, bangsa dan negara.

Is examination a way of determining one's cleverness?

2010-01-02T03:19:00.003+08:00

Before I go further, I would like to wish all of you a very Happy New Year. May this new year brings us happiness, peace and success. In regards to what G-ha wrote in her blog, I write this humble entry of mine on my stand on that topic. G-ha, this is just an opinion from me, a person who is full of weaknesses and shortcomings. Honestly, I don’t agree with the fact that KEPANDAIAN SESEORANG DINILAI DARI KEPUTUSAN PEPERIKSAAN. I understand the fact that each one of us has our own opinion and we are not compelled to follow other’s opinions. A gentle reminder that this is just what I personally think and bear in mind that I am not an opinionated person so you don’t have to agree with me. I am an open-minded person and I accept an opinion that is different from mine. This writing of mine is just a way of expressing myself and this is not a battle field for difference in opinions.

What I believe in this subject matter is KEPANDAIAN TIDAK BOLEH DINILAI DARI PEPERIKSAAN. Examination is just a form of way to determine whether you study for your examinations or not. Knowledge is very wide. It is not only restricted to what comes out in the exam paper. Examination actually makes us to study because we have exams, because we want to be an A student, because we want to be known as smart, clever and brilliant. We tend to study because we want to be the best in our examinations, we want to have good results, because we want to score the best and gain flying colours results. We don’t actually study because we love the knowledge, because we are sincere wisdom seeker, because we seek for the truth. We are becoming exam-oriented people. Our main intention is no longer to seek for knowledge and the truth but instead our intention is more of scoring an excellent result, getting good jobs and the classic normal reasons why we study. I am not saying that we can’t try to strive for the best in our examinations. As Muslims aren’t we encouraged or not too much if I say obliged to be the best, strive for the best and produce the best outcome out of every single good deeds that we do? We are indeed demanded to be the best ummah, we are supposed to show perfect example to the human race. The Muslim ummah is supposed to be the role model of the humanity.

Back to our main discussion on striving for the best in examination, I have to admit the fact that I myself did that since my primary school life, then secondary school, college, undergraduate life and am still doing it now in my postgraduate life. I am not saying that I achieve good results in those years and now. My results are not so bad also but as I said earlier I am still a human being who is full of shortcomings. Knowledge is wide and scoring an A doesn’t mean that you or I have come to a stage of complacence and need not to improve ourselves and scoring a C doesn’t mean that it is the end of the world and cry all day and night long as if tomorrow never exist. As I grow up I try to educate myself to make my intentions clear. I try to correct and justify these intentions of mine. Once when I was in Egypt, doing my bachelor degree I actually asked myself, what’s the significance of being an A student in the examinations but when people talks about what is related to your study, or people talks about a certain common issue, you are lost for words. You act as if you never come across that subject matter and you never know that such thing exists. It is like you study for the sake of the examinations and once when the exam has come to the end your knowledge is also gone together with the exam paper.
(to be continued)

Umat Islam Ditakuti Kerana Banyak Anak

2009-12-23T20:40:00.003+08:00

This interesting article by Johardy Ibrahim is taken from Utusan Malaysia, 22 Nov 2009. For those who miss the opportunity to read this article from the newspaper, I hope you seize this opportunity to benefit from the article. Have fun reading.

Umat Islam Ditakuti Kerana Banyak Anak

Johardy Ibrahim

Sejak serangan 9/11 (11 September 2009) di Amerika Syarikat, Islam telah dianggap sebagai musuh baru kepada dunia Barat. Kasihan mereka. Ketakutan mereka bukanlah tidak berasas kerana sememangnya wujud elemen ketaksuban dan militant yang tinggi yang dianjurkan oleh al-Qaeda ke atas sasaran di Barat. Kasihan mereka kerana pada masa yang sama, ia menutup hati mereka kepada ajaran ad-din sebaliknya kini memikirkan yang aneh-aneh mengenai dunia Islam. Walhal yang ganas hanya sekelumit sahaja daripada umat Islam di seluruh dunia.

Bagi kebanyakan sarjana atau penulis Barat, mereka cenderung untuk mengklasifikasikan dunia Islam kepada dua pihak. Satu fundamentalis iaitu daerah yang bergolak seperti Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran dan Sudan. Satu lagi Islam sederhana iaitu didefinisikan sebagai negara yang mengamalkan Islam tetapi pada masa yang sama, memeluk idea-idea Barat.

Tulisan Lewis M. Simons dalam Newsweek keluaran 16 November 2009 memberi gambaran betapa semakin rumitnya persepsi Barat terhadap dunia Islam. Simons yang merupakan wartawan pemenang anugerah Pulitzer menggambarkan dunia Islam di Asia Tenggara iaitu Indonesia, Malaysia, Selatan Filipina dan Selatan Thailand serta Singapura (betulkah?). Malaysia pada Simons, sudah pun sebuah negara Islam fundamentalis yang terkenal, di bawah kepimpinan Perdana Menteri Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.

Malaysia, negara fundamentalis Islam? Kalau benar apa yang ditulis oleh Simons, tentunya PAS sudah tidak ada bahan untuk mencemuh kerajaan. Mungkin persepsi Simons didorong oleh berita-berita yang dilaporkan dari Malaysia mengenai hukuman sebat ke atas peminum arak, pembatalan konsert Beyonce, penahanan bekas mufti dan sebagainya yang mungkin dilihat sebagai ‘bukti’ kriteria sebuah negara fundamentalis Islam.

Simons secara umunya menggariskan definisi fundamentalis Islam sebagai mereka yang mahu menegakkan hukum Syariah kepada keluarga dan cara negara itu ditadbir. Ini ternyata kurang tepat dengan hakikat sebenar negara ini. Malaysia mengamalkan dwi-sistem iaitu Hukum Syariah khusus untuk umat Islam sahaja manakala bukan Islam mengikut Common Law yang diwarisi dari bekas penjajah British. Jadi rasanya Simons melabelkan Malaysia sebagai negara fundamentalis Islam berdasarkan persepsi dan bukan bukti sahih. Patutnya Simons mewawancara PAS sebelum menulis artikel kerana pasti PAS akan memberitahunya bahawa matlamat menegakkan negara Islam parti itu terpaksa disimpan dalam peti kayu demi memastikan sokongan bukan Islam pada pilihan raya akan datang.

Fundamentalis

Kita kasihankan Simons kerana beliau mewakili dunia Barat yang melabel-labelkan wujudnya Islam fundamentalis, Islam sederhana dan entah apa-apa lagi. Bagi umat Islam, hanya ada satu jenis Islam iaitu Islam ad-din. Simons bukan yang pertama atau terakhir beranggapan demikian. Sebenarnya, kebangkitan Islam hari ini bagaikan menjadi suatu trauma kepada Barat.

Begitu hebatnya ketakutan itu, terbukti pada kajian-kajian yang walaupun maklumat berguna, boleh juga dilihat sebagai cara Barat memprofilkan agama dengan sengaja. Jika ia dilakukan oleh pelobi-pelobi Kristian dan Zionis, tidak mengapa. Kita faham. Itu memang kerja mereka. Malangnya, ia turut meliputi badan-badan dunia. Biro Rujukan Kependudukan (PRB) di bawah Program Pembangunan Pertubuhan Bangsa-Bangsa Bersatu rupa-rupanya menjadi platform kepada Barat untuk menilai perkembangan umat Islam terutama yang berhijrah ke Barat.

Antara tajuk yang luar biasa memprofilkan agama ialah “Apakah umat Islam memiliki lebih ramai anak berbanding wanita lain di Eropah barat?” yang dikaji oleh Mary Menderios Kent.

Kadar kelahiran yang sangat rendah di kebanyakan negara Eropah telah menyemarakkan kebimbangan mengenai bilangan penduduk yang menurun, namun satu segmen penduduk di benua itu, iaitu masyarakat Islam, dikatakan semakin bertambah. Peningkatan dari segi bilangan dan ramainya umat Islam yang boleh dilihat di Eropah barat, ditekan pula oleh tahap kesuburan yang rendah di kalangan bukan Islam, telah mendorong kebimbangan pihak tertentu di Eropah bahawa wilayah itu suatu masa nanti akan memiliki penduduk majoriti Islam, yang secara fundamentalnya merubah masyarakat Eropah.

Bagaimanapun, menurut laporan itu, kebimbangan tersebut didasarkan pada persepsi popular semata-mata, tapi tidak dengan bukti statistik. Disebabkan banyak negara Eropah tidak menetapkan rakyatnya menyatakan agama mereka secara rasmi, adalah sukar untuk mendapatkan anggaran tepat mengenai bilangan atau kadar kelahiran di kalangan umat Islam.

Begitupun, kata Kent lagi, adalah jelas bahawa umat Islam adalah jauh daripada mencapai status majority. Umat Islam membentuk kurang daripada 5 peratus penduduk di kebanyakan negara Eropah. Perancis mempunyai penduduk Islam terbesar di Eropha barat iaitu dianggarkan seramai 4 juta hingga 6 juta yang mewakili 6 peratus dan 10 peratus keseluruhan penduduk Perancis.

Walaupun ia menjadi bahan politik, Perancis sebenarnya sudah mula menikmati sedikit sebanyak kelebihan daripada umat Islam yang berhijrah dari bekas tanah jajahannya di Afrika. Dalam arena bolasepak misalnya, terdapat sekuran-kurangnya tujuh pemain yang menganggotai skuad Piala Dunianya sekarang adalah beragama Islam iaitu Nikolas Anelka (Chelsea), Franck Ribery (Bayern Munich), Samir Nasri (Arsenal), Karim Benzema (Real Madrid), Eric Ebidal (Barcelona), Lassana Diarra (Real Madrid), Hatem Ben Arfa (Marseille).

Wujud

Diakui memang wujud komuniti Islam di beberapa negara di Eropah timur dan tengah, teruama di Balkan tetapi hanya di Albania umat Islam merupakan majoriti terbesar. Penduduk Islam di Rusia adalah besar, dianggarkan sekurang-kurangnya 15 juta. Berbandung umat Islam di Eropah barat yang merupakan sebahagian daripada gelombang penghijrahan besar yang bermula selepas Perang Dunia Kedua, hampir keseluruhan umat Islam di Eropah timur adalah lahir di situ.

Kajian oleh C.F. Westoff dan T. Frejka pada 2007 merumuskan walaupun imigran Islam memiliki anak yang lebih ramai dari orang Eropah yang lain, kadar kesuburan mereka kelihatan menurun mengikut masa, seiringnya lebih cepat berbanding bukan Islam.
Di Austria misalnya, wanita Islam mempunyai kadar kesuburan keseluruhan (satu anggaran kadar beranak setiap wanita) ialah 3.1 anak setiap wanita pada 1981, lebih tinggi daripada purata 1.7 bagi wanita Roman Katolik yang merupakan penduduk majority. Menjelang 2001, kadar Katolik telah menurun ke paras 1.3, tetapi kadar wanita Islam jatuh kepada 2.3 iaitu beza hanya satu anak setiap wanita antara wanita Islam dan bukan Islam.

Jadi apa sebenarnya yang menjadi ketakutan orang Barat ini terhadap Islam? Apakah ini turut mendorong Simons berpandangan Malaysia sebuah negara fundamentalis Islam?

What revolves around the Malay community issue

2009-12-16T15:40:00.009+08:00

In Singapore, we are now bombarded with the issue on 'Kepincangan/ kebobrokan Masyarakat Melayu' (The Defect of the Malay Community). I would like to qoute what the Minister-in-charge of Muslim Affairs, Dr. Yaacob Ibrahim said regarding this matter "Saya malu, awak tahu tak? Kesemuanya melibatkan keluarga Melayu. Awak lihat, perinciannya adalah klasik - kahwin muda, dah tu bercerai, tiada kawalan ibu bapa, melibatkan diri dengan kumpulan haram. Kami tahu semua ini. Sekarang kita mulai melihat kesan akibat daripada semua ini. Anak-anak kecil terkorban kerana mereka. Jika ini tidak menyentakkan masyarakat kita, saya tidak tahu apa lagi" (Berita Minggu, 6 December 2009). This is what he feels about the Malay Muslims issue in Singapore.

The Malay newspaper 'Berita Harian' is now flooded with this issue. Everyday it talks about this matter and frankly speaking I'm almost sick of this. I just feel like telling the newspaper company to stop producing this kind of news. Even if I do so, the fact will still be the fact. It's the reality that I have to face. Even though I close my eyes, I ignore this and can't be bothered with it, this is the reality and I can't run away from it.

Running away from a true reality and denying it will not solve the problem. It will even worsen the situation. It's not that I don't want to know about this anymore, but it is still the same old issues that are never healed. I am not a person who runs away from her problem. I am not a coward, I really want to change the world, contribute benefits for my religion and community. It is just that sometimes I just can't bear to hear this painful reality. It is just like a sharp knife stabbing my heart and piercing my soul to pieces. Honestly I feel the same as what Dr. Yaacob feels. I am just a normal citizen yet I feel so ashamed of my own community, let alone Dr. Yaacob, the minister. He ought to feel it more than the rest of the citizens and I do.

The Malays in Singapore are on the verge of toppling into a valley of disgust. Or should I say that they are already in the valley and nobody actually forced them to fall into it. I am so devastated with the fact that social problems among Malays are high. Malays bear out of wedlock children. Malays get married at young age due to shotgun marriages. Malay drug addicts are high. Overall, my community tops it all.

I don't know what to comment on this issue except for one true fact that I believe in. I guess this is not merely an opinion but it actually is true but I don't want to make strong statement by imposing on what I believe in. I am not an opinionated person. Why the Malay Muslims are becoming like this? Why the Malay Muslims lag behind so badly? Why the Malay Muslims commit such crime and not too much if I say such sin?

It is because we are indeed far behind from the Islamic teachings, we are indeed far behind in following the Islamic Shariah. We are indeed far from the path of Quran and sunnah. We are not submitting ourselves to Islam. We are so tied up with the world. We are so busy looking for the so called happiness that is not everlasting. We forget who we are. We forget that we are just weak and humble servants of Allah.

This is the effect of being too tied up with the world. This is the result of being too far away from Him. This is what happens when we are no longer holding on strongly to the two main sources of the divine law. Remember that Muslims are completely different from the non-Muslims. When Muslims start to go astray, when Muslims forget their duties as Muslims, when Muslims forget that they need to fully submit themselves to Allah, this will be the result, this will be the effect. Muslims will be the underclass community. Muslims will be the problematic community. Muslims will be underestimated. Muslims will be looked down. The act of deviance from God's law and command has a great impact on Muslims. So, we better contemplate, introspect and soul-search ourselves before it is too late. It is now or never.

'Monster' iceberg shedding hundreds of offshoots

2009-12-15T14:48:00.002+08:00

AFP - Tuesday, December 15

SYDNEY (AFP) - – An island-sized iceberg is breaking up as it drifts closer to Australia, producing hundreds of smaller slabs spread over a massive area of ocean, experts said Monday.

The 140-square-kilometre (54-square-mile) block of ice, known as B17B, was seen some 1,700 kilometres (1,054 miles) south-southwest of Australia's western coast on December 9, prompting a maritime alert for vessels in the area.

But as it has tracked further north and east the iceberg has shrunk to some 115 square kilometres -- still formidable at about twice the size of Manhattan.

"There are now many more smaller icebergs calving off B17B, measuring up to several kilometres in length, and spread over more than a thousand kilometres of ocean," said Australian Antarctic Division glaciologist Neal Young.

Young, who has tracked B17B using satellite images from NASA and the European Space Agency, said the iceberg was some 400 square kilometres in area and 40 metres high when it first broke off from Antarctica.

"If you didn't know about the early picture you would still say it's a monster," Young told AFP.

Young said he expected B17B to totally dissolve but was unable to predict when this would happen.

"Might be two weeks, might be several weeks. The key thing at the moment is it's getting thinner," he said.

"It's got its feet in what it thinks is warm water -- about six to eight degrees Celsius (45 F) -- we think that's freezing cold but for an iceberg that's quite warm.

"So it's thinning from the bottom and that's what's going to lead to it breaking up."

The iceberg, which calved from the eastern end of the Ross Ice Shelf nearly 10 years ago, is expected to continue tracking in a more easterly direction.

Australian authorities last week issued a shipping alert over the possible hazard from icebergs.

A Tip for a Tip

2009-12-09T20:28:00.008+08:00

Just in case you want to go for a holiday in Egypt, this might be a useful tip for you. Egypt is totally a different country from our Southeast Asia region so the lifestyle is also different. I hope you can understand the differences between us and them well without much complaints. My advice is that when you are in Egypt, it is best that you remind yourself to be patient and be an open-minded person. Once again I repeat Egyptians lifestyle is totally different from us. Thus, I want to say here that the services that they provide us are also not up to our expectations. It is just the way they are and I really hope that one day they will revamp the systems in the country.

In Egypt, you need to be more generous in giving tips. Tip is not a common practice here in Singapore or Malaysia. Nonetheless, it is a different story in Egypt. When and where do we have to spare some money for the tip? Below are the occasions where we have to spare some cash for the services that the staff provide us:

1. Restaurants - for the waiters and waitresses that serve you;
2. Take away - usually at posh restaurants, not a common practice if you take away at normal restaurants or fastfood restaurants;
3. Shisha - two tips need to be left: one is for bill and the other one is for the walaa' (the man who brings you shisha and coals);
4. Supermarket - for the man who serves you behind the deli or counter and especially if you ask for tawsil (delivery) from the supermarket, then the tip will be for the delivery boy;
5. Gas Stations - for the gas station clerk who fills the tank;
6. The Parking Guy - for the parking assistant who manages and arranges the car and stops the car before it bumps into other people's cars;
7. Valet parking;
8. Street sweepers;
9. Cafes - this is usually done at posh cafes, the tip is usually left in the bill folder or whatever change that you have, it is like 'keep the change' without saying it verbally;
10. Hairdressers;
11. Hotels and beaches - for the bellboys and beach boys who helps find you a lounge chair and umbrella and other people who help to serve you in the hotel;
12. Elevators - there will be a bawwab (the doorman or in other words the security guard) who serves you, the tip goes to him;
13. Bathroom - for the cleaner(s)and the person who gives you the tissue papers;
14. Stores and Boutiques - tip to be given to the person who serves you, the person who keeps disappearing to the back of the store to look for your shoes, bags, clothes and etc;
15. Special Occasions - like festive and holiday seasons, the tip is to be given to the person who assist you in your needs like the driver, porter or garbage collector.

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 5)

2009-12-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

4. Penyelesaian isu islamophobia dan ekstremisme agama

Isu Islamophobia tidak boleh didiamkan begitu sahaja. Isu ini perlu diselesaikan dan ditangani. Namun cara penyelesaian ini bukanlah dilakukan dengan tidak balas yang boleh menyebabkan Islam itu semakin lebih dikenali sebagai agama yang ekstrim dan radikal. Penyelesaiannya bukanlah dilakukan dengan melakukan pelbagai pemberontakan dan demonstrasi di sana sini. Ia bukanlah dilakukan dengan melakukan keganasan, menangkap dan menawan golongan yang tidak bersalah. Penyelesaiannya juga bukan dengan cara melakukan pengeboman nekad terhadap pihak-pihak yang tidak terlibat dengan isu islamophobia ini.

Penyelesaian isu ini perlu dilakukan secara diplomasi. Orang Islam perlu keluar ke hadapan, memperkenalkan kepada masyarakat umum tentang agama Islam. Islamophobia lahir kerana kebencian dan kejahilan barat kepada Islam. Ini juga ditambahkan lagi dengan prinsip kebebasan bersuara dan melahirkan pendapat yang sering diagung-agungkan oleh mereka.

Pihak barat ramai yang menyangka bahawa Islam itu sinonim dengan bangsa Arab dan hanya orang Arab sahaja yang beragama Islam. Ada juga yang tidak dapat membezakan manakah pengamalan yang dituntut dalam Islam dan manakah pula pengamalan yang lebih merupakan satu adat.

Sudah tiba masanya untuk orang Islam secara umumnya tidak kiralah dari bangsa apa sekali pun untuk keluar dan menerangkan kepada dunia apakah Islam itu sebenarnya. Adakah Islam mengajak kepada keganasan? Apakah yang terkandung dalam ajaran Islam itu sendiri?

Orang Islam perlu tampil ke hadapan dan bersuara untuk menjustifikasikan kebenaran yang sebenar supaya kebencian dan kejahilan mereka itu dapat dikalahkan. Islamophobia ialah cara mereka ‘berperang’ dengan Islam dari sudut pemikiran dan ideologi, maka ia juga perlu diselesaikan dengan cara yang sama. Para cendekiawan Islam dari agama Islam sendiri yang sepatutnya bersuara dan melakukan penjelasan dalam bidang agama ini. Penulisan dalam bidang agama oleh para cerdik pandai agama juga patut ditingkatkan. Jangan biarkan Bernard Lewis, Philip K. Hitti, William Montgomery Watt, Maxime Rodinson dan Karen Armstrong yang mempengaruhi dunia Islam. Orang Islam sendiri perlu lebih pro-aktif di dalam membuat penjelasan tentang Islam. Islam memerlukan lebih ramai lagi cerdik pandai Islam yang lantang bersuara seperti Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi, Dr. Bilal Philips, Dr. Ingrid Mattson, Yvonne Ridley dan Tariq Ramadan.

Penjelasan dan penerangan tentang agama Islam perlu dilakukan supaya pihak yang menyebarkan diayah islamophobia ini membuka mata bahawa Islam itu tidaklah seperti apa yang disangkakan. Cara yang terbaik untuk menyelesaikan masalah ini juga dengan cara berdialog dan menerangkan bahawa al-Quran bukanlah kitab yang mengandungi ayat-ayat tentang peperangan semata-mata tetapi ada berbagai-bagai ayat lain yang terkandung dalamnya. Maksud dari ayat-ayat yang menyentuh tentang jihad juga perlu diberikan penjelasan supaya golongan bukan Islam ini tidak terus menerus takut pada agama dan orang Islam.

Masalah ekstremisme agama perlu dikawal dan diselesaikan oleh orang Islam sendiri. Hal ini juga tidak boleh dibiarkan begitu sahaja. Ia perlulah dilakukan dengan membasmi salah faham terhadap maksud dari ayat-ayat al-Quran yang berkenaan dengan perang dan jihad. Penjelasan yang mendalam tentang tafsir ayat-ayat tersebut mestilah ditekankan kepada masyarakat Islam. Sekali-sekala dialog dan pembetulan fahaman terhadap apa yang terkandung dalam ajaran Islam patut diadakan. Selalunya, ajaran dan kepercayaan itu sendiri bukanlah sesuatu yang membahayakan. Apa yang membahayakan ialah cara bagaimana ianya boleh disalahgunakan oleh sesetengah pihak untuk kepentingan mereka sendiri; oleh pemimpin-pemimpin yang melihat kekerasan sebagai satu alternatif yang mudah; atau oleh orang-orang terdesak yang tidak dapat melihat cara lain lagi yang dapat digunakan untuk menyelesaikan masalah
(Kamarulzaman Askandar, 2006).

Semangat cintakan perdamaian, saling bertolak ansur sesama manusia dan saling kasih mengasihani mestilah dipupuk dalam jiwa masyarakat Islam. Agama Islam ialah agama yang sangat menitikberatkan kedamaian, keamanan dan toleransi. Islam itu ialah deen al-tasamuh yang bererti agama toleransi. Islam mengajarkan supaya orang Islam bertoleransi terhadap yang bukan Islam apatahlagi yang beragama Islam. Islam mengajarkan toleransi dalam semua peringkat: peringkat individu, kumpulan dan negara (Muzammil Siddiqi, 2006). Firman Allah dalam al-Quran yang bermaksud:

“Bagi tiap-tiap umat, Kami adakan satu syariat yang tertentu untuk mereka ikuti dan jalankan, maka janganlah ahli-ahli syariat yang lain membantahmu dalam urusan syariaatmu; dan serulah (wahai Muhammad) umat manusia kepada agama Tuhanmu, kerana sesungguhnya engkau adalah berada di atas jalan yang lurus.
Dan jika mereka mengemukakan bantahan kepadamu, maka katakanlah: "Allah Amat" mengetahui akan apa yang kamu lakukan.
Allah akan menghukum di antara kamu semua pada hari kiamat, mengenai apa yang kamu berselisihan padanya .”

Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, mantan Presiden bagi Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) menyatakan bahawa pada hari ini sikap tidak bertoleransi semakin meningkat di dunia, menyebabkan kematian, pembunuhan beramai-ramai, keganasan, pencabulan keagamaan dan begitu juga dengan perselisihan. Adakalanya perselisihan ini berpunca dari bangsa dan etnik dan adakalanya pula berpunca dari agama dan ideologi, ada masanya pula ia kerana masalah politik dan sosial. Dalam apa jua situasi, ia adalah perbuatan yang cela dan menyakitkan (Muzammil Siddiqi, 2006) .

Toleransi dan bertolak ansur adalah sangat disuruh dalam Islam. Ia adalah prinsip yang dasar bagi agama Islam. Islam melarang pengikutnya bertindak ganas dan kejam. Namun begitu, ini juga tidak bererti bahawa Islam itu agama yang pasif dan sekiranya Islam diganggu maka sikap toleransi itu mesti diaplikasikan juga. Pada saat Islam diancam maka mempertahankan agama dan hak adalah dibenarkan. Akan tetapi, perlu ditegaskan bahawa Islam bukanlah agama yang memulakan keganasan dan peperangan. Islam tidak mengajar pengikutnya untuk mengangkat senjata untuk berperang sekiranya ia tidak diganggu. Islam mengajar pengikutnya untuk berlemah lembut, menunjukkan kasih sayang, melakukan kebaikan dan kebajikan, berbelas kasihan serta berlaku adil tidak kiralah sama ada terhadap yang beragama Islam atau yang bukan beragama Islam. Terdapat banyak ayat-ayat al-Quran yang menyuruh untuk berbuat perkara-perkara yang di atas. Antaranya seperti firman Allah yang bermaksud:

“Allah tidak melarang kamu daripada berbuat baik dan berlaku adil kepada orang-orang yang tidak memerangi kamu kerana ugama (kamu), dan tidak mengeluarkan kamu dari kampung halaman kamu; sesungguhnya Allah mengasihi orang-orang yang berlaku adil .”

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Hendaklah kamu menjadi orang-orang yang sentiasa menegakkan keadilan, lagi menjadi saksi (yang menerangkan kebenaran) kerana Allah, sekalipun terhadap diri kamu sendiri, atau ibu bapa dan kaum kerabat kamu. Kalaulah orang (yang didakwa) itu kaya atau miskin (maka janganlah kamu terhalang daripada menjadi saksi yang memperkatakan kebenaran disebabkan kamu bertimbang rasa), kerana Allah lebih bertimbang rasa kepada keduanya. Oleh itu, janganlah kamu turutkan hawa nafsu supaya kamu tidak menyeleweng dari keadilan. Dan jika kamu memutarbalikkan keterangan ataupun enggan (daripada menjadi saksi), maka sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa Mengetahui dengan mendalam akan apa yang kamu lakukan .”

Masyarakat Islam perlu didedahkan dengan penerangan berkenaan dengan hubungan seorang Muslim dengan yang bukan Muslim dan bagaimana berinteraksi dengan mereka.

Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi di dalam bukunya Al-Halāl wal Harām fil Islām menulis tentang hubungan antara Muslim dengan yang bukan Muslim. Beliau membawakan firman Allah yang bermaksud:

“Allah tidak melarang kamu daripada berbuat baik dan berlaku adil kepada orang-orang yang tidak memerangi kamu kerana ugama (kamu), dan tidak mengeluarkan kamu dari kampung halaman kamu; sesungguhnya Allah mengasihi orang-orang yang berlaku adil.
Sesungguhnya Allah hanyalah melarang kamu daripada menjadikan teman rapat orang-orang yang memerangi kamu kerana agama (kamu), dan mengeluarkan kamu dari kampung halaman kamu, serta membantu (orang lain) untuk mengusir kamu. Dan (ingatlah), sesiapa yang menjadikan mereka teman rapat, maka mereka itulah orang-orang yang zalim .”

Ayat yang pertama bukan hanya tidak melarang seorang Muslim itu untuk berlaku adil dan saksama kepada yang bukan Muslim yang tidak memerangi agama Islam dan mengusir orang Islam keluar dari tempat tinggalnya, bahkan Allah menyuruh untuk berbuat baik dan ihsan kepada mereka (Al-Qaradawi, 1994) .

Begitu juga dengan orang bukan Islam yang tinggal di negara Islam atau yang mendapat perlindungan dari orang Islam dan orang bukan Islam yang membuat perjanjian damai dengan orang Islam. Mereka digelar sebagai ahli zimmah bagi orang bukan Islam yang tinggal di negara Islam dan mu’ahid bagi yang membuat perjanjian damai dengan orang Islam.

Hak ahli zimmah dan mu’ahid adalah sama seperti hak orang Islam dalam negara tersebut, apa yang ada diberikan kepada orang Islam maka itulah juga yang diberikan kepada mereka, melainkan dalam hal-hal agama dan kepercayaan, maka Islam memberikan mereka kebebasan untuk mengamalkan agama mereka (Al-Qaradawi, 1994) . Darah mereka juga adalah tidak halal dan tidak boleh dibunuh sesuka hati. Sesungguhnya Allah mengharamkan bagi manusia untuk membunuh jiwa manusia yang darahnya tidak berdosa dan jiwanya wajar dipelihara kerana kemanusiaannya. Namun begitu, terdapat pengecualian bagi yang bukan Muslim yang berperang dengan Muslim, dalam hal ini maka darahnya adalah halal (Al-Qaradawi) . Sabda Nabi SAW yang bermaksud:
'Sesiapa yang membunuh 'mu'ahid' tidak akan mencium bau syurga yang di mana baunya boleh didapati daripada perjalanan yang mengambil masa 40 tahun .'

Dalam riwayat lain yang bermaksud:
'Sesiapa yang mebunuh seorang lelaki dari ahli zimmah tidak akan mendapati bau syurga .'

Penerangan dan pendidikan tentang konsep jihad dan daulah islamiah juga penting di dalam menyelesaikan masalah ekstremisme agama. Apakah sebenarnya erti jihad dan daulah islamiah itu? Inilah komponen penting yang perlu ada dalam penerapan nilai-nilai kedamaian dan keamanan bagi masyarakat Islam. Tidak dilupakan juga penjelasan yang tidak kurang pentingnya iaitu penjelasan tentang tanggungjawab seorang Muslim sebagai rakyat sama ada di dalam sebuah negara Islam atau yang bukan negara Islam dan larangan menentang pemerintah yang tidak berlaku zalim dan memerangi rakyatnya.

5. Kesimpulan

Islamophobia dan ekstremisme agama adalah isu yang sering melanda masyarakat Islam di seluruh dunia. Isu ini tidak akan pudar apatahlagi hapus selagi manusia masih berpijak di bumi ini. Untuk menghapuskannya seratus peratus, mungkin ia adalah sedikit mustahil. Apa yang boleh dilakukan ialah dengan mempersiapkan diri dengan penyelesaian yang bijak dan teratur. Imam Ali karramallahu wajhah ada mengatakan bahawa kebenaran yang tidak bersistem/tersusun akan dikalahkan dengan kebatilan yang bersistem/tersusun. Oleh itu adalah amat penting untuk seorang Muslim untuk menangani kedua-dua isu ini dengan cara berdiplomasi dan bukan dengan cara beremosi. Di dalam menghadapi dan menangani isu ini, moral, etika dan akhlak sebagai manusia dan seorang Muslim perlu tetap dijaga.

Penerapan nilai dan fahaman agama yang betul sangat memainkan peranan di dalam melahirkan generasi yang tidak menyimpang dari kehendak agama yang sebenar. Seseorang yang faham apa yang terkandung dalam al-Quran tidak akan menjerumuskan dirinya ke kancah ekstremisme agama, fanatisme dan radikalisme. Al-Quran tidak boleh ditafsirkan sesuka hati tanpa memahami bahasa dan maksud yang tersirat di sebaliknya. Al-Quran tidak boleh ditafsirkan mengikut hawa nafsu sahaja. Tafsiran dan pemahaman kepada apa yang terkandung dalam al-Quran mempunyai garis panduan yang tertentu yang perlu dipelajari.

Islam ialah agama yang cintakan kedamaian dan sangat bencikan keganasan. Islam mengajarkan kepada manusia nilai kesederhanaan dan keseimbangan dan tidak melampaui batas. Oleh itu, sebagai seorang Muslim, adalah penting untuk mengenali dan memahami agama Islam itu dengan mendalam supaya tidak terjadi salah tafsiran terhadap agama.

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 4)

2009-11-06T13:00:00.002+08:00

3.1 Ayat-ayat al-Quran yang sering disalahtafsirkan oleh ekstremis agama

Para penyokong ekstremisme agama atau yang lebih dikenali dengan terrorisme sering menggunakan ayat-ayat al-Quran di bawah ini untuk menyokong ideologi mereka. Ayat-ayat berikut yang bermaksud:

“Wahai Nabi, perangsangkanlah orang-orang yang beriman itu untuk berperang. Jika ada di antara kamu dua puluh yang sabar, nescaya mereka dapat menewaskan dua ratus orang (dari pihak musuh yang kafir itu); dan jika ada di antara kamu seratus orang, nescaya mereka dapat menewaskan seribu orang dari golongan yang kafir, disebabkan mereka (yang kafir itu) orang-orang yang tidak mengerti.” Surah al-Anfaal: 65.

“Dan jika mereka mencabuli sumpahnya sesudah mengikat perjanjian setia, dan mereka pula mencela agama kamu, maka perangilah ketua-ketua dan pemimpin-pemimpin kaum yang kafir itu, kerana sesungguhnya mereka tidak menghormati sumpah janjinya, supaya mereka berhenti (dari kekufuran dan bertaubat).” Surah al-Taubah: 12.

“Perangilah orang-orang yang tidak beriman kepada Allah dan tidak beriman kepada hari akhirat, dan mereka pula tidak mengharamkan apa yang telah diharamkan oleh Allah dan RasulNya, dan tidak beragama dengan agama yang benar, iaitu dari orang-orang yang diberikan Kitab (kaum Yahudi dan Nasrani), sehingga mereka membayar "Jizyah" dengan keadaan taat dan merendah diri.” Surah al-Taubah: 29.

“Wahai Nabi, berjihadlah menentang orang-orang kafir dan orang-orang munafik, dan bertindak keras terhadap mereka. Dan (sebenarnya) tempat mereka ialah neraka Jahannam, dan itulah seburuk-buruk tempat kembali.” Surah al-Taubah: 73.

“Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang yang beriman akan jiwa mereka dan harta benda mereka dengan (balasan) bahawa mereka akan beroleh Syurga, (disebabkan) mereka berjuang pada jalan Allah maka (di antara) mereka ada yang membunuh dan terbunuh. (Balasan Syurga yang demikian ialah) sebagai janji yang benar yang ditetapkan oleh Allah di dalam (Kitab-kitab) Taurat dan Injil serta al-Quran; dan siapakah lagi yang lebih menyempurnakan janjinya daripada Allah? Oleh itu, bergembiralah dengan jualan yang kamu jalankan jual belinya itu, dan (ketahuilah bahawa) jual beli (yang seperti itu) ialah kemenangan yang besar.” Surah al-Taubah: 111.

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Perangilah orang-orang kafir musyrik yang berdekatan dengan kamu; dan biarlah mereka merasai sikap kekerasan (serta ketabahan hati) yang ada pada kamu; dan ketahuilah sesungguhnya Allah beserta orang-orang yang bertaqwa (dengan memberikan pertolonganNya).” Surah al-Taubah 123.

“Dengan yang demikian, apabila kamu berjuang menentang orang-orang kafir (dalam peperangan jihad) maka pancunglah lehernya, sehingga apabila kamu dapat membunuh mereka dengan banyaknya (serta mengalahkannya) maka tawanlah (mana-mana yang hidup) dan ikatlah mereka dengan kukuhnya. Setelah selesai pertempuran itu maka (terserahlah kepada kamu) sama ada hendak memberi kebebasan (kepada orang-orang tawanan itu dengan tiada sebarang penebusnya) atau membebaskan mereka dengan mengambil penebusnya. (Bertindaklah demikian terhadap golongan kafir yang menceroboh) sehinggalah berakhir peperangan jihad itu (dan lenyaplah sebab-sebab yang memimbulkannya). Demikianlah (diperintahkan kamu melakukannya). Dan sekiranya Allah menghendaki, tentulah Dia membinasakan mereka (dengan tidak payah kamu memeranginya); tetapi Ia (perintahkan kamu berbuat demikian) kerana hendak menguji kesabaran kamu menentang golongan yang kufur ingkar (yang mencerobohi kamu). Dan orang-orang yang telah berjuang serta gugur syahid pada jalan Allah (mempertahankan agamanya), maka Allah tidak sekali kali akan mensia-siakan amal-amal mereka.” Surah Muhammad: 4.

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 3)

2009-11-06T12:53:00.001+08:00

3. Isu-isu berkaitan islamophobia dan ekstremisme agama

Kejadian-kejadian yang berkait rapat dengan islamophobia terlalu banyak terjadi di seluruh dunia lebih-lebih lagi di negara-negara barat yang majoriti penduduknya bukan beragama Islam dan mereka kurang mendapat pendedahan tentang apakah sebenarnya agama Islam itu.

Kejadian-kejadian yang kurang diingini ini sangat banyak dipaparkan di dada-dada akhbar, internet dan media massa. Sebagai contoh di Eropah, pada tahun 2004, satu filem pendek yang menghina agama Islam telah dikeluarkan oleh Belanda yang bertajuk Submission. Perkataan Submission ini diambil dari makna Islam itu sendiri. Penulis filem ini ialah Ayaan Hirsi Ali, seorang wanita kelahiran Somalia yang lari ke Belanda kerana ayahnya telah mengaturkan perkahwinan untuknya dengan lelaki yang tidak diingini. Dia merupakan ahli parlimen Belanda bagi Parti Liberal (BBC News, 2003). Pengarah filem ini pula ialah Theo Van Gogh. Filem ini mengisahkan tentang seorang wanita Islam yang dipaksa berkahwin dengan lelaki pilihan ayahnya dan dia didera oleh suaminya itu juga diperkosa oleh pakciknya (BBC News, 2004).

Pada tahun 2006, kartunis dari Denmark, Kurt Westergaard telah melukis kartun Nabi Muhammad SAW dan menggambarkan Baginda sebagai pengganas. Westergaard telah menggambarkan Nabi Muhammad sebagai pengebom nekad yang mempunyai bom di serbannya (BBC News, 2009). Lukisan beliau telah dipaparkan di suratkhabar Denmark dan ia tersebar ke seluruh Eropah. Kejadian ini telah menimbulkan banyak rasa tidak puas hati di kalangan orang Islam seluruh dunia lebih-lebih lagi Islam di Eropah.

Pada tahun 2008, ahli parlimen Belanda Geert Wilders telah mengeluarkan satu filem pendek selama 17 minit yang bertajuk Fitna. Filem ini menunjukkan gambar-gambar aksi keganasan dan sekaligus memaparkan ayat-ayat dari al-Quran berkenaan dengan peperangan dan keganasan. Filem ini menyamakan Islam dengan keganasan (Government of the Netherlands, 2008).

Di Eropah juga, pertelingkahan terhadap pembinaan masjid dan pemaparan masjid dengan menara menjadi satu isu yang tidak pernah henti dibahaskan. Banyak bantahan terhadap pembinaan masjid terjadi di Eropah. Pada tahun 2008, mereka yang berfahaman kanan di Switzerland telah berkempen untuk mengharamkan pembinaan masjid dengan menara di negara itu. Kontroversi-kontroversi terhadap perkara ini juga timbul di negara-negara seperti Jerman, Austria, Itali dan Belanda (Traynor, 2008) .

Isu yang timbul bagi ekstremisme agama juga tidak kurang banyaknya. Tidak kiralah sama ada di rantau Asia Tenggara ini atau yang menjangkau seluruh dunia. Ekstremisme agama kebanyakannya lahir kerana rasa tidak senang dengan kerajaan dan pemerintah yang sedia ada atau keinginan untuk mengasaskan sebuah negara Islam atau lebih dikenali sebagai daulah islamiah. Ekstremis agama juga dikaitkan dengan fundamentalis dan radikalis agama. Stigma dan konotasi yang sering dihubungkan dengan mereka ialah sikap tidak boleh berkompromi dengan orang lain dan meminta orang lain untuk menerima pendapat mereka semata-mata (Zuly Qodir dan Novri Susan, 2005).

Lahirnya kumpulan-kumpulan seperti Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) dan Abu Sayyaf di Filipina, Komite Solidaritas Islam untuk Dunia Islam (KISDI), Front Pembela Islam (FPI), Majelis Mujahidin Indonesia, Laskar Jihad (Anak Agung Banyu Perwita, 2005) dan Hizbut Tahrir di Indonesia, Jemaah Islamiah (JI) dan Al-Qaeda adalah hasil daripada ketaksuban dalam keinginan untuk mengasaskan sebuah pemerintahan Islam, rasa tidak berpuas hati dengan pemerintah yang sedia ada atau perasaan yang sangat benci kepada golongan bukan Islam. Berikutan dari itu maka kumpulan-kumpulan ini bertindak ekstrim dan radikal.

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 2)

2009-11-06T12:50:00.001+08:00

2. Definisi islamophobia dan ekstremisme agama

Islamophobia ialah satu istilah yang mula sering dan banyak diguna pakai selepas tragedi 9/11. Selepas tragedi 9/11 istilah ini sering digunakan oleh media-media Amerika Syarikat.

Perkataan Islamophobia mula dicipta di Britain pada tahun 1996 oleh Suruhanjaya Britain berkenaan isu Muslim di Britain dan Islamophobia. Islamophobia bermaksud ketakutan yang belebih-lebihan kepada Islam, akan tetapi ia digunakan untuk menunjukkan sikap berat sebelah dan prasangka terhadap orang Islam. Istilah ini sudah diterima dari perspektif linguistik dan politik dan ia telah digunakan di persidangan Persatuan Bangsa-bangsa Bersatu pada Disember 2004 yang bertajuk “Confronting Islamophobia” (Eid Mohamed, 2009).

Islamophobia merujuk kepada ketakutan yang melampau-lampau terhadap agama Islam dan Muslim, manakala ekstremisme agama pula merujuk kepada tingkah-laku dan perbuatan dalam agama yang melampau-lampau yang lahir atas dasar ketaksuban atau fanatisme dalam melaksanakan tuntutan-tuntutan agama. Ekstremisme juga lahir atas dasar salah faham dan salah tafsiran terhadap teks-teks yang ada dalam al-Quran dan hadis. Beginilah yang terjadi pada golongan Jemaah Islamiah (JI). Mereka yang terlibat dengan JI mempunyai salah faham terhadap konsep sebenar yang terdapat dalam Islam dan apa yang terkandung dalam al-Quran. Berdasarkan kepada Kumpulan Pemulihan Agama (RRG) yang berpusat di Singapura, daripada kaunseling yang dijalankan terhadap anggota JI yang berada di dalam tahanan, ideologi yang dibawa oleh JI salah dalam menafsirkan konsep-konsep berikut yang terdapat dalam ajaran Islam: Jihad, bai’ah, daulah islamiah, ummah, takfir, hijrah, istimatah dan al-wala’ wal bara’ (Religious Rehabilitation Group, 2007). Ekstremisme ialah sifat melampau-lampau dan berlebih-lebihan dalam memahami kehendak agama manakala Islamophobia lahir kesan dari perkara ekstremisme tersebut.

Melalui analisis yang dilakukan oleh Dr. Eid Mohamed pada liputan akhbar Amerika Syarikat, berikut ialah maksud yang dapat disimpulkan daripada perkataan Islamophobia:
1. Islamophobia melambangkan perkataan atau perbuatan yang berbentuk penghinaan kepada semua orang Islam dan bangsa Arab;
2. Islamophobia ialah takut kepada pengganas Muslim dan Arab. Keadaan seperti ini boleh didapati pada kejadian serangan 9/11 dan kejadian lain yang melibatkan pengganas yang dikatakan sebagai pengganas Islam. Penggunaan Islamophobia pada tempat ini lebih tepat. Penggunaan istilah ini lebih dibataskan kepada mereka yang melakukan keganasan tersebut. Orang Islam dan Arab yang lain diminta untuk mengenalkan diri dan agama mereka kepada dunia dan dunia Barat supaya pemikiran tentang Islamophobia dapat dihapuskan;
3. Islamophobia hanyalah mitos dan ciptaan yang digunakan oleh orang Islam dan Arab untuk menyelamatkan diri dan agama mereka dari apa jua kritikan (Eid Mohamed, 2009).

Ada beberapa istilah lain yang sering dikaitkan dengan isu Islamophobia dan ekstremisme ini. Istilah yang sering berkaitan dengan Islamophobia ialah terrorisme, fundamentalisme, fanatisme dan radikalisme atau Islam radikal.

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 1)

2009-11-06T12:47:00.000+08:00

1. Pengenalan

Dewasa ini, selepas terjadinya peristiwa 11 September 2001, agama Islam semakin mendapat tempat di media-media barat. Namun posisi yang diberikan kepada Islam bukanlah satu posisi yang baik, bahkan ia merupakan satu posisi yang amat berat dan memerlukan penjelasan daripada orang Islam. Ia memerlukan orang Islam untuk keluar ke hadapan dan menyatakan kebenaran dan realiti sebenar ajaran Islam.

Pasca 9/11 telah memberikan Islam impak yang sangat hebat. Berikutan dari itu maka berkembanglah penggunaan perkataan Islamophobia. Islam mula dilabelkan sebagai pengganas, Islam agama yang mengajak kepada keganasan. Istilah seperti ekstremisme, terrorisme dan fanatisme mula dikaitkan dengan Islam. Islam seolah-olah amat sinonim dengan keganasan dan apabila bercakap tentang Islam, perkara pertama yang terlintas di fikiran umum ialah keganasan.

Adakah benar Islam itu mengajak kepada keganasan? Adakah semua orang Islam itu mengamalkan keganasan? Bukankah hanya segelintir orang Islam sahaja yang bertindak ganas? Adalah tidak adil untuk membuat generalisasi dan menghukum semua orang Islam itu ganas hanya semata-mata kerana segelintir sahaja yang bertindak begitu.

Keganasan bukan hanya dilakukan oleh orang Islam sahaja. Terdapat banyak kejadian ekstremisme agama yang dilakukan oleh orang yang bukan Islam. Sebagai contoh pada tahun 1995, kumpulan agama sesat Jepun, Aum Shinrikyo telah melepaskan gas sarin di lima keretapi di sistem subway Tokyo yang telah menyebabkan 12 kematian dan mencederakan yang lain. Pada tahun 1985, 329 penumpang dan anak pesawat bagi pesawat Air India 182 terbunuh apabila pengganas beragama Sikh meletupkan pesawat tersebut. Pembunuhan ke atas Yitzhak Rabin, mantan perdana menteri Israel, telah dilakukan oleh Yigal Amir, seorang Yahudi zionis yang berfahaman ekstrim (Islam and Terrorism, 2006). Semua ini bukan dilakukan oleh orang Islam, malahan ia dilakukan oleh mereka yang bukan Islam. Pengganas yang bukan beragama Islam juga wujud, namun ia bukanlah alasan bagi orang Islam untuk melakukan kesalahan yang sama.

Apa yang lebih menyedihkan lagi pengganas-pengganas ini tidak begitu mendapat tempat di media barat, tidak seperti agama Islam. Oleh itu, orang Islam perlu lebih berhati-hati dalam setiap sudut tingkah lakunya dan perlu lebih peka bahawa dirinya sering menjadi perhatian dan propaganda dunia.

Muhasabah Cinta...

2009-10-30T18:57:00.005+08:00

Dalam hidup ini, tidak ada apa yang dapat memberikan kebahagiaan yang sebenar dan ketenangan yang abadi melainkan memberikan sepenuh hati dan cinta kepadaNya..

An Indonesian song that touches my heart. Thanks to Aniza. Read and contemplate the meaning. A great lament...

Muhasabah Cinta

Wahai... Pemilik nyawaku
Betapa lemah diriku ini
Berat ujian dariMu
Kupasrahkan semua padaMu

Tuhan... Baru ku sadar
Indah nikmat sehat itu
Tak pandai aku bersyukur
Kini kuharapkan cintaMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah
Mengalir berzikir di kidung doaku
Sakit yang kurasa biar jadi penawar dosaku
Butir-butir cinta air mataku
Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku
Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini
Ya Ilahi....
Muhasabah cintaku...

Tuhan... Kuatkan aku
Lindungiku dari putus asa
Jika ku harus mati
Pertemukan aku denganMu

:'( :'( :'( :'(

Haramnya darah 'al-Mu'ahid' dan 'ahli zimmah' - Terjemahan dari karya Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi

2009-10-24T18:45:00.002+08:00

Nas-nas yang datang dari al-Quran dan Hadis sangat mengambil berat larangan membunuh sesama Muslim dan saling berbunuhan antara satu sama lain kerana nas-nas ini didatangkan sebagai pensyariatan dan petunjuk (guideline) bagi bagi orang-orang Islam untuk hidup dalam masyarakat Islam. Akan tetapi di sini tidak bermakna bahawa darah orang yang bukan beragama Islam adalah halal dan boleh dibunuh sesuka hati. Jiwa manusia yang darahnya tidak berdosa, diharamkan oleh Allah bagi manusia untuk membunuhnya. Jiwa manusia wajar dipelihara kerana kemanusiaannya. Namun begitu, terdapat pengecualian bagi yang bukan Muslim yang berperang dengan Muslim, maka darahnya adalah halal.

Sekiranya orang yang bukan Muslim itu ialah 'mu'ahid' atau 'ahli zimmah' maka darahnya terpelihara dan tidak halal bagi seorang Muslim untuk bermusuhan dengannya. Sabda Nabi SAW yang bermaksud:

'Sesiapa yang membunuh 'mu'ahid' tidak akan mencium bau syurga yang di mana baunya boleh didapati daripada perjalanan yang mengambil masa 40 tahun.'
Riwayat al-Bukhari dan lain-lain
Dalam riwayat lain yang bermaksud:

'Sesiapa yang mebunuh seorang lelaki dari 'ahli zimmah' tidak akan mendapati bau syurga.'
Riwayat an-Nasa'i

Mu'ahid: Orang bukan Islam yang membuat perjanjian damai dengan orang Islam.
Ahli zimmah: Orang bukan Islam yang tinggal di bawah naungan atau pemerintahan orang Islam.

Terjemahan dari: Al-Halal wal Haram fil Islam oleh Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi.

Hagah misy muhimmah lakum

2009-10-20T18:57:00.003+08:00

Albi dah magruh.. Misy aizah entu fahmin bi anna albi dah magruh. kifayah ba'ah ana wahdi fahmah khatbi dah. Ana misy za'lanah walakin ta'banah ma'a hayah di.

Tak perlu baca.. Hasil dari mengantuk plus stress

2009-10-19T23:41:00.002+08:00

Akhirnya saya dapat juga bersantai-santai dalam bas. This is quite funny. I take the same bus that I took when I went back to USM after hari raya. The same PFE 2266. Haha.. Kelakar juga. Mak pun ingat. Mata dah mula menunjukkan ciri-ciri mengantuk. Tak boleh jadi ni. Assignment dan proposal memanggil-manggil. My mantra now is assignment assignment assignment.. work work work.. Isy kadang-kadang rasa penat belajar, kadang-kadang rasa maybe after this I’ll stop and it’s enough for the time being. Tapi rasa penat dia sekejap aje. Sebab stress, mulalah merepek. Mulalah berbual yang pelik-pelik. When I was in Egypt, I was so stress with the literature subjects, saya pun mula berbual bukan-bukan dengan roommate saya. This was what I said to her ‘Ummu (nama dia), klu u jadi orang pandai tolonglah jgn create syair ke puisi ke ideology pelik-pelik, nanti penat lah orang lain nak kena belajar, silap-silap anak I belajar ideology u, kesian anak I, tolonglah kesiankan anak I’ Ummu pun melayan, sbb kita dua-dua sama-sama berperang dengan exam. Ummu then was my senior in Al-Azhar Uni. She was one year above me. Sama department pula. So dia faham macam mana feeling orang stress belajar sastera Arab. BUT lepas habis degree, tengoklah apa saya buat! Saya masih bergelar student. What is my occupation? Student. Honestly I am addicted to studying. I am addicted to books, assignments, researches and you name it. Orang lain dah happy-happy kerja pegang duit, tak pun ada yang kahwin, happy-happy dgn suami masing-masing (hmmm.. happy ke? Bukan ke kahwin banyak tanggungjawab?) kalau tak kahwin pun ramai da ‘taken’, saya juga masih bergelar pelajar dan ber’matair’ kan buku, library, lectures dan yang seangkatan dengannya lah. Best juga hidup gini tapi saya bkn tak normal ok. Saya manusia normal. Hmmm.. saya bukan merungut atau ‘complain’. Apa yang saya rasa biarlah saya sendiri yang tau. I am sidetracking the function of blog if I use this as a way of channeling my inner feelings and emotions. Tapi macam dah jadi aje. Kepada pencinta ilmu yang hanya baca benda-benda yang bermanfaat. Jangan bacalah blog saya kalau tajuk saya entah apa-apa. Blog ni saya punya kan.. So saya lah writer, saya lah editor, dan yang penting saya lah owner. Apa-apa saya nak tulis, itu my own choice. Kalau suka bacalah, kalau tak suka jangan baca.

Hmm.. Dahlah malas nak cakap lagi pasal tu. Satu benda yang saya nak cakap ialah saya tak faham kenapa setiap kali balik aje saya sakit. Ni pun kelakar. Rasa nak ketawa pun ada. Biar hilang segala stress yang ada. Penang n Singapore bukanlah jauh mana. Bukanlah Mesir ke Jordan ke UK ke US ke yang cuaca lain dari Singapura. I don’t think so there’s so much difference in the weather between Sg and Penang. Sama-sama panas. Hmm.. Tapi mcm Sg lagi panas aje. In Sg saya mabuk ye keluar rumah. Tapi in Penang tak rasa gitu pula. Balik kali ni saya sakit perut pula. Dari semalam pula. It was quite disturbing. Tapi sakit juga ujian Allah. Sabar ajelah. Isy macam-macam hal. Oh Tuhan, hebatnya ujian. Hanya itu yang mampu ku ucapkan.

Saya sangat mengantuk. Bas ni pula buka whatever movie, entah lah. Some kind of Sci fi I guess. I am not a big fan of sci fi. Hmmm.. But if the movies are about some kind of outbreak or disaster then I’ll like it. Hahaha.. Like The Happening, Quarantine, 28 Days Later… Ni semua movies orang pelik macam saya aje yang suka. Eh saya normal jugalah, saya suka movies like Pride and Prejudice, The Young Victoria.. But still weird. Siapalah yang nak pergi layan saya tengok cerita-cerita gini. You want to say I’m eccentric then you may go ahead. Saya tak marah. Cakaplah apa pun. Saya faham. Humans are given the freedom to choose, choose whatever that you think is good for you but remember that whatever choice you choose, just bear with the consequences. Eh okaylah saya suka digression, arab say as ‘istithrad’. Saya normal lah, saya suka cerita The Lake House, Just Like Heaven, Message in a Bottle, Nights in Rodanthe.. Hahaha.. Romantic movies. At least this shows that I’m normal. I am a combination of classicism and romanticism but realism and symbolism aren’t what I am. Hidup orang suka dreaming kan.

Niqab Issue

2009-10-14T21:48:00.002+08:00

I am sure that all of us are aware of what is happening worldwide. Knowing what happen in our own region only is not enough. This knowledge of ours should be widen to many aspects and scopes of life and we should not limit it to our boundaries only. Human’s job is to look for and seek knowledge without fail.

Since I came back I never fail to make myself equipped with the news from Egypt. I miss Egypt, Alexandria and of course the most important thing is Al-Azhar University. This is what happening now and I guess this is the latest controversial issue that is happening back there in Egypt.

Our grand Syeikh Al-Azhar, Syeikh Tantawi did a shocking action that really provoked the Muslims, not only Muslims in Egypt but Muslims throughout the world. And the most important thing is he provoked many Azharites or some may called as Azharians. This provocation is either receiving a good response or a bad response. I was an Azharite or Azharian or Azhariah. Thus, I can say that I am quite intrigued by this issue and it provoked me to write and put my two cents worth on this matter and I think even the person who is not or was not an Azharite, he also has the right to speak his mind on this matter. Putting our two cents worth does not harm anything.

What Syeikh Tantawi did was quite shocking. He was on a visit to one of the Al-Azhar school for girls. He visited an 8th grade class and met a girl who wears the niqab. In case you don’t know what niqab is, it is the face veil. In Arab countries, it is very common to see Arab ladies wearing the face veil other than those wearing hijab (headscarf). Syeikh Tantawi then asked the girl why she was wearing the niqab as she was in a classroom which was only occupied with girls. No boys were in the classroom. She was shocked that she was speechless till one of her teacher that was in the classroom answered for her by saying that she did take off her niqab in the classroom and at that moment she was wearing it because of the visit from the Syeikh and his entourage.

Syeikh Tantawi then answered by saying that she can just take off the niqab, wearing the niqab is not an obligation in Islam and it is just a tradition of the Arabs.

It is true that wearing the niqab or face veil is not an obligation in Islam. It is more of a khilafiyyah issue unlike wearing the hijab and covering the body with modest and decent clothes. Therefore, it is not a big issue whether the lady wants to cover her face or not. It is her choice whether she wants to cover the face or not.

My stand on this matter is I would rather take the moderate path. In my opinion in a country like Egypt, where the majority of the population is Muslims and they practice and understand the basic principles of Islam and declares that Islam is its official religion, they should be more open-minded on the niqab issue. It is not appropriate to force a lady to cover her face is she refuses to do so as the face is not part of aurah but it is also not nice to ask the lady to remove her niqab unless during official matter.

The muslim lady should be given a choice whether she wants to cover her face or not. If she chooses to cover her face then one should respect her decision. If she chooses not to cover her face then one should also respect her choice. In Egypt, wearing the niqab is not an odd thing to the society and it is a practice that is well accepted by them. Not wearing the niqab is also not a starnge practice and the society accept that with open heart also. The Egypt society is more flexible and open-minded so it is up to the woman to choose.

The situation is different in Saudi Arabia where wearing niqab is a must and the society in Saudi will find it odd and strange seeing a woman without the face veil, therefore over here the woman must cover her face as she will make herself fall into fitnah if she does not cover her face.
While in our region, Southeast Asia, wearing the niqab is not a practice that can be easily accepted by the society, thus choosing not to wear it is not a big issue.

Wallahu aalam. For more read on this issue from our best scholars like Dr. Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, Dr. Ingrid Mattson and many others, please visit Islamonline.net.

Eid Monologue

2009-09-25T14:13:00.008+08:00

How much I miss USM and ISDEV... I van't wait to be back at USM and make myself busy with lectures, assignments, friends, ISDEV and other activities. I know this sounds funny as I should be happy this year to get the chance to celebrate eid with my family. Compared to last year, I celebrated it in Egypt without my family. It is quite sad to celebrate it away from your family but at times we need sacrifice. Last year was not the first year I celebrated it overseas without my family. I met 4 eid whilst doing my first degree at Egypt, I celebrated 2 eid in Singapore and another 2 in Egypt. The two eid in Singapore fell during the summer vacation that I went back home, so I took the chance to celebrate eid here as in the first place I was scheduled to be back there before eid but at the last minute many friends weren't willing to go back there early. My return ticket was scheduled before eid but at last I extended it till the third and fourth Syawal. During my second last year there, I was supposed to be back to Egypt on the second last day of Ramadan but luckily few days before my flight, SIA called and informed me that I got a ticket on a later date which was on the fourth of Syawal. As I said earlier I celebrated 2 eid in Singapore and another 2 in Egypt.

Sometimes I feel I really miss Egypt so much, I even miss celebrating eid there. I don't know why.. The funniest thing that I feel is I don't feel so contented while I'm here in Singapore. I was even sick on the 1st of Syawal. Right after the eid prayer, I slept and I was not even able to get up from bed. My head was so heavy. My eyes felt like it was going to bulge out of its socket.

Honestly I tell you that I miss my parents, I miss my brothers.. I want them to be with me and I want to be with them.. But the question and the problem are why I am not very happy when I am in Singapore??? :( I know nobody can answer this and not even me myself. And now, what I fear most is the feeling of going back to Singapore during my long semester break...

Anak kucing itu...

2009-09-13T22:20:00.004+08:00

Kenapalah aku terjumpa anak kucing cute tu masa aku balik tadi?? Kenapalah dia 'meow meow' masa aku lalu tempat tu? Kesian, sedih, cuma aku tak mampu nak tolong dia.. Aku pun tak ada makanan masa tu.. Kalaulah aku punya rumah di sini, aku bawa dia balik.

Aku memang kalah kalau tengok kucing. Lagi-lagi kalau dia 'meow meow'. Kesian sangat. Aku memang suka dan sayang sangat kucing.. Kalaulah mak & abah kasi pelihara, pasti aku akan pelihara. Sekurang-kurangnya aku ada teman, sekalipun temanku itu bukanlah makhluk Allah yang berakal...

I Have A Dream

2009-08-29T13:38:00.007+08:00

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairytale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy

To help me through reality

And my destination makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream, I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I cross the stream, I have a dream

A song by Westlife and it was actually first sang by Abba.
A song that inspires me in living my dream.

Rahsia itu hanya Kau yang tahu...

2009-08-29T13:23:00.009+08:00

So many things had happened since the last time I updated my blog. I’ve now moved to International House and no longer staying in Desasiswa Saujana. I officially moved out of Saujana on the 17th of Aug. I’m missing my fellow friends and neighbours from there. I won’t be seeing anymore of Mdm Nasirah, my Pakistani neighbour, whom I usually had a conversation with, and won’t be seeing anymore of Hadeel, the Syrian girl, whom I usually exchanged salam(s), hi(s), hello(s) and sometimes we did have a small chat. I won’t be seeing again Maria and Lin, the exchange programme students from UPSI. I did exchange contact numbers with all my neighbours and I would be very pleased to pay them a visit. Mdm Nasirah is completing her PhD soon and will be going back to Pakistan somewhere in September. My prayers will always be with her.

Right after the day I moved to International House, ISDEV held its INGRAW (International Graduate Workshop). It was on Tuesday and Wednesday, 18th and 19th of July. I was selected as the chairperson for one of the concurrent sessions and at the last minute I had to replace a chairperson that was unable to attend the INGRAW. Alhamdulillah everything went smoothly as we wanted. The INGRAW was a success. It was a very good workshop. This is a new exposure for me as a new postgraduate student. I like what I’m doing now and enjoy it so much. May Allah help me and guide me and lead me to the path that is best for me in pursuing my dreams.

INGRAW finished at 5.00 pm and at 8.30 pm that night I took a bus to go back to Singapore. I didn’t actually desperately want to go back but I have a mission to do back there in Singapore. Plus the fact that of course I wanted to see my parents and brothers. I am actually so used to staying away from my family but whatever the situation is, deep inside I miss them so much and sometimes I wish that they are with me. But sad to say that we have to understand one another that each one of us has our own role and responsibility. Life is quite complicated and sometimes in life we cannot have what we desire.

I realize something when I was in Singapore. I think when I was there for 4 days of my mid-semester break I was a bit miserable and in despair for something that I myself could not understand. I was so attached to my family and so much affiliated to them like never before. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because of my trust to others who aren’t my family is declining and deteriorating. In a simple word people called outsiders and among these outsiders are your own friends. It’s not that I don’t trust my own friends but I’m just taking a precaution so as not to break my heart when I put the trust so much on others. It’s not also that I hope and ask for something in return for what I’ve done as a friend. I don’t mind if people are simply unappreciative and don’t acknowledge whatever kindness that you’ve done for them. In life I’ve faced all sorts of betrayal that sometimes dishearten me, that sometimes disappoint me, that sometimes left me crying in silence, that sometimes left me shouting in my heart. I don’t need a big acknowledgement. I don’t need popularity, I don’t need all sorts of thanks and appreciation. But what I need is just a treatment from a human being who has a heart and soul to another human being who possesses a heart and soul. More or less I’m still a human being.

People come and go. And that what life has taught me. In life you cannot think about people and what you should and ought to do is just go on with your life. Just be kind to others, don’t keep any grudges in your heart and continue to do kindness to others so that the word of kindness is able to spread throughout the world.

Kucing

2009-08-10T19:35:00.010+08:00

Kadang-kadang aku rasa lebih baik menyayangi seekor anak kucing dari menyayangi manusia kerana haiwan lebih tahu disayangi, mereka lebih tahu menghargai kasih sayang yang dicurahkan.. Manusia hanya menyakitkan hati. Mencurahkan kasih sayang pada manusia hanya sia-sia belaka. Ibarat melepaskan anjing tersepit. Kucing juga yang tak menyakitkan hati, comel, manja dan tahu dihargai. Aku bukanlah tengah putus cinta cuma sedang berkira-kira yang mana lebih patut diberikan kasih sayang. Yang aku pasti ialah kasih pada manusia tidak membawa apa-apa keuntungan, sebaliknya yang sakit hati kita juga. Life's like that. *shrug* Dengan manusia kena banyak bersabar tapi dengan seekor kucing tak perlu terlalu bersabar kerana kucing ialah makhluk Allah yang 'cute', sangat manja dan tahu disayangi. Kalaulah aku ada rumah sendiri di USM ni, memang aku dah pelihara anak kucing dan kalaulah dulu masa di Mesir aku tinggal sendirian aku pasti pelihara kucing juga. Hmmm.. tapi kucing Mesir ni lain sikit, tak macam kucing di benua Asia ni. Pelik sikit perangai kucing Arab.

Masa aku kecil, mak cakap aku pernah menangis dan tak nak makan kerana kehilangan kucing yang aku pelihara. Aku masih ingat peristiwa tu. Aku paksa mak dan nenek cari kucing tu. Nenek puas pujuk aku supaya jangan nangis dan suruh aku makan. Mak dan nenek puas pujuk nanti mungkin kucing tu akan pulang ataupun nanti kita boleh cari kucing lain. At first, I was not really convinced by them. But at last I gave up.

Aku sayang sangat kucing tu. Aku masih ingat macam mana aku ambil si kucing kecil tu. Aku jumpa dia sedang mencari-cari makanan di kedai makan. Masa tu umur aku baru tujuh tahun. Kucing itu masih terlalu kecil, ibunya pula tak ada. Mula-mula aku cari ibunya tapi ternyata tak ada. Macam mana dia terpisah dari ibunya itu yg aku hairan tapi kerana kesian tengok dia 'scavenge for food', aku lalu bawa dia pulang. Maka bermulalah kehidupan kucing tu bersama aku. Kelakar kan aku pernah menangis kerana seekor kucing. Pernah tidak mahu makan kerana seekor kucing. Aku sayang sangat kucing tu dan yang aku sayang tu tak lebih dari seekor kucing. Just a cat, not a human being. I know that's funny but that was the thing that really happened and it was not something that I created.

Lebih baik menyayangi seekor kucing dari menyayangi manusia. Walaupun kucing makhluk Tuhan yang tidak berakal tapi kadang-kadang kucing lebih tahu dihargai dari manusia.

Modern Literature Ideologies

2009-08-07T01:46:00.018+08:00

Classicism

Classicism refers generally to a high regard for classical antiquity, as setting standards for taste which the classicists seeks to emulate. The art of classicism typically seeks to be formal and restrained and its main focus was on the aristocrat social class. This school of thought was trying as much as possible to preserve the classical antiquity of the art.

Classicism is a force which is often present in post-medieval European and European influenced traditions, however, some periods felt themselves more connected to the classical ideals than others, particularly the Age of Reason, the Age of Enlightenment and some movements in Modernism.

Classicism is a specific genre of philosophy, expressing itself in literature, architecture, art and music, which has Ancient Greek and Roman sources and an emphasis on society. It did not touch much on emotion and sensitivity of the individuals. It was particularly expressed in the Enlightenment, and the Age of Reason.

Classicism first made an appearance during the Italian renaissance when the fall of Byzantium and rising trade with the Islamic cultures brought a flood of knowledge about, and from, the antiquity of Europe. Until that time the identification with antiquity had been seen as a continuous history of Christendom from the conversion of Roman Emperor Constantine I. Renaissance classicism introduced a host of elements into European culture, including the application of mathematics and empiricism into art, humanism, literary and depictive realism, and formalism. Importantly it also introduced Polytheism, or "paganism", and the juxtaposition of ancient and modern as it was prevalently influenced by the Greek and Roman.

The classicism of the Renaissance lead to, and gave way to, a different sense of what was "classical" in the 16th and 17th centuries. In this period classicism took on more overtly structural overtones of orderliness, predictability, the use of geometry and grids, the importance of rigorous discipline and pedagogy, as well as the formation of schools of art and music. The court of Louis XIV was seen as the center of this form of classicism. This period sought the revival of classical art forms, including Greek drama and music. Opera, in its modern European form, had its roots in attempts to recreate the combination of singing and dancing with theatre thought to be the Greek norm. Examples of this appeal to classicism included Dante, Petrarch and Shakespeare in poetry and theatre. Tudor drama, in particular, modeled itself after classical ideals and divided works into Tragedy and Comedy. Studying ancient Greek became regarded as essential for a well-rounded education in the liberal arts.

The 19th century saw the classical age as being the precursor of academicism, including such movements as uniformitarianism in the sciences. By this point classicism was old enough that previous classical movements received revivals. The 19th century continued or extended many classical programs in the sciences, most notably the Newtonian program to account for the movement of energy between bodies by means of exchange of mechanical and thermal energy.

The 20th century saw a number of changes in the arts and sciences. Classicism was used both by those who rejected, or saw as temporary, transfigurations in the political, scientific, and social world and by those who embraced the changes as a means to overthrow the perceived weight of the 19th century. Thus, both pre-20th century disciplines were labelled "classical" and modern movements in art which saw themselves as aligned with light, space, sparseness of texture, and formal coherence.

In the present day philosophy classicism is used as a term which is related to Apollonian over Dionysian impulses in society and art; that is a preference for rationality, or at least rationally guided catharsis, over emotionalism.

All in all, this school of thought was mainly influenced by Ancient Greek and Roman antiquity. It tried as much as possible to preserve and emulate this antiquity but it was then revolted by the romanticism school of thought.

Romanticism

Romanticism is an ideology which is quite difficult to understand. It is a complex artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in the second half of the 18th century in Western Europe, and gained strength during the Industrial Revolution. The Industrial Revolution was a period in the late 18th and early 19th centuries when major changes in agriculture, manufacturing, mining, and transportation had a profound and extreme effect on the socioeconomic and cultural conditions in Britain and this revolution subsequently spread throughout Europe, North America, and eventually the world. The onset of the Industrial Revolution marked a major turning point in human society; almost every aspect of daily life was eventually influenced in some way.

The romanticism was partly a revolt against aristocratic social and political norms of the Age of Enlightenment and a reaction against the scientific rationalization of nature and was embodied most strongly in the visual arts, music, and literature. This is due to the fact that the aristocratic social class eminently support and uphold the style of classicism, rejected other norms and simultaneously ignored the lower social class. The emergence of this ideology of romanticism is to acknowledge other class of society and to free them from aristocracy and all at once to bring new trend to the art and literature concept.

The movement stressed strong emotion as a source of aesthetic experience, placing new emphasis on such emotions as trepidation, horror and awe — especially that which is experienced in confronting the sublimity of untamed nature and its picturesque qualities, both new aesthetic categories. It elevated folk art and custom to something noble, and argued for a "natural" epistemology of human activities as conditioned by nature in the form of language, custom and usage.

Romanticism reached beyond the rational and Classicist ideal models to elevate medievalism and elements of art and narrative perceived to be authentically medieval, in an attempt to escape the confines of population growth, urban sprawl and industrialism, and it also attempted to embrace the exotic, unfamiliar and distant in modes, harnessing the power of the imagination to envision and to escape.

Although the movement is rooted in German Pietism, the ideologies and events of the French Revolution laid the background from which Romanticism emerged. The confines of the Industrial Revolution also had their influence on Romanticism, which was in part an escape from modern realities; indeed, in the second half of the 19th century, "Realism" was offered as a polarized opposite to Romanticism. Romanticism elevated the achievements of what it perceived as misunderstood heroic individuals and artists that altered society. It also legitimized the individual imagination as a critical authority which permitted freedom from classical notions of form in art.

The term "Romanticism" has been used to refer to certain artists, poets, writers, musicians, as well as political, philosophical and social thinkers of the late 18th and early to mid 19th centuries. It has equally been used to refer to various artistic, intellectual, and social trends of that era. Despite this general usage of the term, a precise characterization and specific definition of Romanticism have been the subject of debate in the fields of intellectual history and literary history throughout the twentieth century, without any great measure of consensus emerging.

Many intellectual historians have seen Romanticism as a key movement in the Counter-Enlightenment, a reaction against the Age of Enlightenment. Whereas the thinkers of the Enlightenment emphasized the primacy of deductive reason, Romanticism emphasized intuition, imagination, and feeling, to a point that has led to some Romantic thinkers being accused of irrationalism.

Realism

Realism in the visual arts and literature is the depiction of subjects as they appear in everyday life, without embellishment or interpretation. The term also describes works of art which, in revealing a truth, may emphasize the ugly or sordid.

Realism often refers to the artistic movement, which began in France in the 1850s. The popularity of realism grew with the introduction of photography - a new visual source that created a desire for people to produce things that look “objectively real”. Realists positioned themselves against romanticism, a genre dominating French literature and artwork in the late 18th and early 19th century. Undistorted by personal bias, Realism believed in the ideology of objective reality and revolted against exaggerated emotionalism. Truth and accuracy became the goals of many Realists.

Symbolism

Symbolism was a late nineteenth-century art movement of French and Belgian origin in poetry and other arts. In literature, the movement has its roots in Les Fleurs du mal (The Flowers of Evil, 1857) by Charles Baudelaire. The works of Edgar Allan Poe, which Baudelaire greatly admired and translated into French, were a significant influence and the source of many stock tropes and images. The aesthetic was developed by Stephane Mallarmé and Paul Verlaine during the 1860s and '70s. In the 1880s, the aesthetic was articulated through a series of manifestoes and attracted a generation of writers. The label "Symbolist" itself comes from the critic Jean Moréas, who coined it in order to distinguish the Symbolists from the related Decadent movement in literature and art.

Distinct from, but related to, the movement in literature, Symbolism in art represents an outgrowth of the darker, gothic side of Romanticism; but where Romanticism was impetuous and rebellious, Symbolist art was static and hieratic.

Symbolism was largely a reaction against Naturalism and Realism, anti-idealistic movements which attempted to capture reality in its gritty particularity, and to elevate the humble and the ordinary over the ideal. These movements invited a reaction in favour of spirituality, the imagination, and dreams; the path to Symbolism begins with that reaction.

Surrealism

Surrealism is a cultural movement that began in the early 1920s, and is best known for the visual artworks and writings of the group members.

Surrealist works feature the element of surprise, unexpected juxtapositions and non sequitur; however, many Surrealist artists and writers regard their work as an expression of the philosophical movement first and foremost, with the works being an artifact. Leader André Breton was explicit in his assertion that Surrealism was above all a revolutionary movement.
Surrealism developed out of the Dada activities of World War I and the most important center of the movement was Paris. From the 1920s on, the movement spread around the globe, eventually affecting the visual arts, literature, film, and music, of many countries and languages, as well as political thought and practice, philosophy and social theory.

World War I scattered the writers and artists who had been based in Paris, and while away from Paris many involved themselves in the Dada movement, believing that excessive rational thought and bourgeois values had brought the terrifying conflict upon the world. The Dadaists protested with anti-rational anti-art gatherings, performances, writing and art works. After the war when they returned to Paris the Dada activities continued.

During the war Surrealism's soon-to-be leader André Breton, who had trained in medicine and psychiatry, served in a neurological hospital where he used the psychoanalytic methods of Sigmund Freud with soldiers who were shell-shocked. He also met the young writer Jacques Vaché and felt that he was the spiritual son of writer and pataphysician Alfred Jarry, and he came to admire the young writer's anti-social attitude and disdain for established artistic tradition.

While Dada rejected categories and labels, Surrealism would advocate the idea that ordinary and depictive expressions are vital and important, but that the sense of their arrangement must be open to the full range of imagination according to the Hegelian Dialectic. They also looked to the Marxist dialectic and the work of such theorists as Walter Benjamin and Herbert Marcuse.
Freud's work with free association, dream analysis and the hidden unconscious was of the utmost importance to the Surrealists in developing methods to liberate imagination. However, they embraced idiosyncrasy, while rejecting the idea of an underlying madness or darkness of the mind.

The group aimed to revolutionize human experience, including its personal, cultural, social, and political aspects, by freeing people from what they saw as false rationality, and restrictive customs and structures. Breton proclaimed, the true aim of Surrealism is "long live the social revolution, and it alone!" To this goal, at various times surrealists aligned with communism and anarchism.

In 1924 they declared their intents and philosophy with the issuance of the first Surrealist Manifesto. That same year they established the Bureau of Surrealist Research, and began publishing the journal La Révolution surréaliste.

Source: Wikipedia.

My Struggle with Literature Studies

2009-08-07T01:36:00.001+08:00

Honestly, I am not among the big fan of literature and anything that is too abstract and complicated to understand. I have to admit that I think I am not among those who are very well off in this realm. But I don’t go against this and really appreciate the beauty that lies in it. I am more of a logic person and I know that I use my left brain more than my right brain. I love numbers, theories with formulas and scientific findings. Mathematical theories are more exciting. Physics and Chemistry are more interesting.

But, everything about the heart is never a final say. Interest could always be sowed, nurtured, cultivated and inculcated in oneself. Other than my interest in the world of Mathematics and Sciences, I love languages despite my so-so attitude in literature. When I finished my secondary school years, I made up my mind that I want to be a specialist in Arabic Language as I love the language so much. I find that the syntax and morphology of this language is very interesting and challenging. I was quite torn apart in between choosing my interest in Math and Sciences and Arabic language. I realize that these two fields are not the most well-liked subjects in my Malay community and I was thankful and grateful to God that he has bestowed me interest and understanding in these two fields. I am not being arrogant, proud or boastful with this factor but I want to give the best out of what Allah has given me so that the society can benefit from it.

At last I chose to be in the Arabic language specialisation but I know that I’m going to be stuck with literature studies. I don’t give up and I believe in myself that I can do it. I choose what I like, this is my interest so I must try to like and love it wholeheartedly. At first it was quite difficult for me to accept such theories that are so philosophical, abstract and intangible. One of my lecturers even advised me that a language is not merely grammar and vocabulary but it also consists of literature and we can never separate the value of language with literature. Oh yeah! That’s when I realized that language has its aesthetic value and it’s not made up of theories of syntax and morphology only. A language without aesthetic value has a lower standard and can be judged as lame and rather limp.

Starting from that day onwards, I spent more time reading and studying on literature than other realms of linguistic science. It was not because I had developed an extraordinary interest in the area, my interest is still in morphology, syntax and other linguistic studies but I don’t want my lack of interest in literature affected my result so I spent more time in the area. I also realized that I had developed a better interest in literature and begin to accept it in my heart and love it.

When I was doing my degree, Alhamdulillah, I managed to survive all the literature subjects like Comparative Literature, Classic Literature Critics, Modern Literature Critics and History of Arabic Literature. These subjects are not easy subjects. It uses a higher standard language and it always gives us linguistics students a very hard time. My
Arab friends and tutor said so too. I tried my best to understand it thoroughly and I avoided using the rote and iterate method merely. I ensured myself that I understood every single word and facts completely without any doubts then I could say that I was satisfied. In the following entry, I would like to share a bit on the ideologies of modern literature critics that arose in modern literature.

Rindu Mesir!!!

2009-08-05T01:06:00.033+08:00

Saya sebenarnya sedang merindukan Mesir dan Universiti Al-Azhar (ni betul-betul ok, bukan rindu orang yang di sana, jangan salah anggap yeee... saya masih single, ada sesiapa berminat? hahaha... takdelah, saya cuma bergurau aje), berikutan dengan kerinduan saya itu, inilah hasil yang diperolehi. Alangkah bahagianya kalau manusia dikurniakan kepak yang membolehkan dia terbang, atau wujudnya kucing seperti Doraemon, dapatlah saya ke Mesir sekejap tanpa memerlukan belanja yang banyak. Oh Allah, I submit and surrender myself to Your will. Please help me and guide me and I let You choose the best for me. Nak balik Mesir!!! :(

Siapa kata kat Mesir takde makanan yang sedap-sedap.. Ada aje ok. Tapi taklah sehebat di Singapura atau Malaysia. Takdelah ketupat, lontong atau lepat.. Mana kami nak pergi korek janur untuk buat ketupat. But still, ketupat artificial yang dibuat dari plastik ada tau. Jangan salah anggap, bukan orang Arab yang jual. Arab tak tau apa benda ketupat tu. Apa-apa pun beraya yang sederhana ni juga yang buat kami cukup happy, contented dan yang paling penting yang membuatkan ukhuwwah kami erat. Bila di perantauan, teman-teman sudah seperti saudara sendiri...

Inilah saya yang dah cute. Tak macam pagi tadi (kat gambar di bawah) comot betul, padahal pergi solat raya tu. Hehe.. Kali ini saya ingin membawa tuan puan mengembara bersama saya. Beginilah serba sedikit kami anak-anak Temasek beraya di perantauan tanpa keluarga dan sanak-saudara. Sebenarnya sekarang saya sedang rindukan Mesir, sebab tulah saya bawa tuan puan sekali menyelami rasa rindu saya tu..

Sila-sila, jangan malu-malu...

Eid mubarak sa'eed! Kullu 'am wa antum bi khair!

While waiting for our Eid prayer.. I know I simply can't get this scenario in Singapore...

Muka kami yang masih comot-momot di pagi raya.

Pagi raya.. Sibuk-sibuk nak solat raya!

Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar, La ilaha illallahu wallahu akbar, Allahu akbar wa lillahil hamd.. Yeay!! Esok hari raya!! Everyone! say cheese!! To whom should you girls say thank you for taking this picture? :p :p :p

Al-Hajb dalam Perbahasan Ilmu Fiqh Mawarits

2009-08-01T22:34:00.008+08:00

Al-Hajb adalah satu perbahasan yang penting di dalam perbahasan ilmu Al-Mawârîts. Ilmu Al-Mawârîts tidak akan lengkap tanpa topik Al-Hajb. Para ulama’ berpendapat bahawa seseorang yang ingin menguasai dan mendalami bidang Al-Mawârîts perlu untuk menguasai bab Al-Hajb ini kerana ditakuti sekiranya dia mengeluarkan fatwa dia berkemungkinan terbahagi bahagian harta itu kepada yang tidak selayaknya[1]. Apa yang dimaksudkan dengan dengan Al-Hajb? Apakah makna Al-Hajb dari sudut bahasa dan istilah?

Pengertian Al-Hajb menurut bahasa ialah tertahan atau terhalang[2]. Perkataan Al-Hajb ini berasal daripada perkataan arab dari kata dasar ha ja ba. Ha ja ba ialah kata kerja, manakala Al-Hajb ialah kata nama bagi kata kerja tersebut. Subjek dalam masalah ini adalah Hâjib (penghalang) dan objeknya adalah Mahjûb (yang dihalang/terhalang)[3].

Pengertian Al-Hajb menurut istilah pula ialah terhalangnya seseorang waris itu dari menerima bahagian warisannya, samaada dia terhalang secara keseluruhan atau sebahagian sahaja kerana wujudnya ahli waris lain yang lebih berhak menerima harta warisan tersebut[4].

Contoh bagi Al-Hajb yang terhalang secara keseluruhan ialah seperti meninggalnya seseorang itu lalu meninggalkan seorang ayah dan abang kandung. Dalam hal ini, ayah menerima semua bahagian dari harta si mati kerana si mati tidak meninggalkan Al-Far’u Al-Wârits iaitu golongan kerabat yang di bawah; anak dan seterusnya. Manakala abang kandungnya pula tidak mendapat apa-apa dari harta si mati kerana kewujudan ayah. Ini yang dinamakan sebagai terhalang atau menghalang secara keseluruhan. Ayah lebih layak menerima harta si mati kerana hubungan darahnya lebih dekat dengan si mati jika dibandingkan dengan abang kandung tersebut. Istilah arab bagi Al-Hajb yang seperti ini disebut sebagai Hajb Al-Hirmân.

Al-Hajb yang terhalang atau menghalang secara sebahagian sahaja kerana adanya ahli waris lain yang lebih berhak menerima harta tersebut dinamakan sebagai Hajb An-Nuqshân. Hajb An-Nuqshân ini menghalang dengan mengurangi bahagian. Contoh bagi Hajb An-Nuqshân ialah seperti wafatnya seseorang lalu meninggalkan seorang balu dan seorang anak lelaki. Balunya mendapat 1/8 dari harta peninggalan si mati manakala anak lelakinya mendapat baki dari harta yang telah diberikan kepada balunya. Dalam hal ini, balunya terhalang dari mendapat bahagian tertingginya iaitu ¼ kerana adanya Al-Far’u Al-Wârits iaitu anak lelaki si mati. Anak lelaki lebih berhak mendapat bahagian yang tinggi kerana dalam permasalahan Mawârîts, ikatan darah itu lebih kuat dari ikatan perkahwinan. Al-Hajb yang sebegini disebut sebagai Hajb An-Nuqshân. An-Nuqshân bererti yang mengurangi. Ia dinamakan sebagai An-Nuqshân kerana ia mengurangkan bahagian ahli waris itu daripada menerima bahagian yang banyak kepada menerima bahagian yang berkurangan.

Dalil Al-Hajb

Dalil bagi Al-Hajb ialah seperti di dalam surah An-Nisaa’ ayat 11:

قال الله تعالى: (فإن لم يكن له ولد وورثه أبواه فلإمه الثلث، فإن كان له إخوة فلأمه السدس). النساء: 11.

Firman Allah lagi di dalam surah An-Nisaa’ ayat 12:

قال الله تعالى:(ولكم نصف ما ترك أزواجكم إن لم يكن لهن ولد فإن كان لهن ولد فلكم الربع مما تركن، ... ولهن الربع مما تركتم إن لم يكن لكم ولد، فإن كان لكم ولد فلهن الثمن مما تركتم) النساء: 12.

Dalil dari hadith pula seperti sabda Rasulullah sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam:

(قضى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بالدبن قبل الوصية، وبالميراث لبني الأعيان، دون بني العلات).

Daripada dalil pertama dari surah An-Nisaa’ ayat 11, bahagian ibu yang tertinggi ialah 1/3. Ibu akan mendapat bahagian tersebut sekiranya si mati tidak mempunyai Al-Far’u Al-Wârits dan tidak mempunyai dua atau lebih dari adik-beradik, tidak kira samaada adik-beradik kandung, adik-beradik seayah atau adik-beradik seibu. Ibu hanya akan mendapat 1/6 dari harta peninggalan tersebut sekiranya ada ahli waris yang disebutkan di atas.

Dalil kedua dari surah An-Nisaa’ ayat 12 pula menerangkan tentang bahagian suami dan isteri, seorang suami yang kematian isterinya akan mendapat ½ dari harta peninggalannya sekiranya isteri tersebut tidak mempunyai Al-Far’u Al-Wârits, sekiranya dia mempunya Al-Far’u Al-Wârits, maka suami hanya berhak mendapat ¼ dari harta tersebut. Seorang isteri yang kematian suaminya pula akan mendapat ¼ sekiranya suami tidak mempunyai keturunan dan dia hanya layak mendapat 1/8 sekiranya suami mempunyai keturunan.

Kedua-dua dalil di atas menerangkan tentang Hajb An-Nuqshân iaitu berkurangnya bahagian seorang ahli waris itu daripada mendapat bahagian yang besar kepada bahagian yang lebih kecil. Ia juga boleh diertikan sebagai perpindahan hak mendapat harta warisan kerana bahagian yang besar bagi seorang ahli waris itu seolah-olah dipindahkan kepada yang lebih layak.

Dalil yang ketiga dari hadith Rasululullah s.a.w. pula menerangkan tentang Bani Al-‘Aayan, adik-beradik kandung yang menghalang Bani Al-‘Allat, adik-beradik seayah dengan Hajb Al-Hirmân, Hajb yang secara mutlak. Adik-beradik seayah akan terhalang atau termahjub dari mendapat harta warisan kerana adanya adik-beradik kandung.

Jenis-jenis Al-Hajb

Al-Hajb mempunyai dua jenis: Al-Hajb Al-Washfiy dan Al-Hajb Asy-Syakhsiy. Al-Hajb Al-Washfiy[5]. Al-Hajb Asy-Syakhsiy ialah yang terhalang kerana sesuatu sifat yang ada padanya iaitu seorang ahli waris terhalang dari mendapatkan harta warisan secara keseluruhan atau tertahan kerana adanya sifat tertentu pada dirinya seperti membunuh atau berlainan agama pula yang terhalang kerana orang lain iaitu ahli waris yang berhak menerima warisan dihalang oleh kerabat lain untuk mendapatkan warisan kerana kerabat tersebut lebih kuat atau lebih dekat dengan si mati. Jenis ini terbahagi kepada dua bahagian: Hajb An-Nuqshân dan Hajb Al-Hirmân.

Hajb An-Nuqshân atau penghalang dengan mengurangi bahagian ahli waris yang lain, atau dengan adanya ahli waris yang lebih dekat atau kuat maka menjadikan ahli waris lain mendapatkan bahagian lebih sedikit. Daripada seorang waris itu mendapat bahagian besar tertentu, dia hanya mendapat bahagian yang lebih sedikit kerana adanya waris lain yang lebih dekat dengan si mati. Ahli waris yang mempunyai hubungan darah yang lebih dekat dengan si mati lebih mendapat keutamaan dari yang lain. Contohnya seperti seseorang yang meninggal dunia dan meninggalkan seorang balu dan anak lelaki, balunya akan mendapat 1/8 daripada harta warisan daripada mendapat ¼ sekiranya si mati tidak mempunyai anak lelaki. Anak lelaki akan mendapat baki dari 1/8 tadi, maka bahagiannya ialah 7/8. Dalam situasi ini, Balu si mati dipanggil sebagai Mahjûb dan anak lelaki sebagai Hâjib.

Hajb Al-Hirmân atau penghalang dengan menghalang seseorang ahli waris itu dari mendapat bahagiannya secara mutlak bukan dengan mengurangkan bahagian tersebut. Ini adalah disebabkan oleh hubungan darah yang lebih kuat dengan si mati. Seseorang itu terhalang kerana adanya ahli waris lain yang lebih dekat dengan si mati. Contohnya seperti seseorang yang meninggal dunia dan meninggalkan seorang ayah, ibu dan datuk. Dalam hal ini, yang lebih dekat dengan si mati ialah ayah dan ibu. Oleh yang demikian datuk terhalang sama sekali dari mendapatkan bahagian. Datuk terhalang dengan adanya ayah, sekiranya ayah tiada, barulah datuk berhak untuk mendapatkan bahagiannya.

Kesimpulan dari jenis-jenis Al-Hajb adalah seperti rajah di bawah ini:

Al-Hajb

Al-Hajb Al-Washfiy Al-Hajb Al-Syakhsiy

Hajb Al-Hirmân Hajb An-Nuqshân

Ahli Waris dan Al-Hajb

Di dalam permasalahan Al-Mawârîts ini, ahli keluarga yang dipanggil dengan ahli waris ada 22 orang. Tidak semua yang layak mendapat harta warisan semasa wafatnya seseorang itu. Seorang ahli waris itu mungkin pada asalnya layak untuk mendapat harta warisan tetapi apabila ada ahli waris lain yang lebih dekat dengan si mati maka dia berkemungkinan termahjub. Contohnya seperti ayah dan datuk. Kedua-duanya ialah ahli waris tetapi apabila seseorang itu meninggal dunia dan meninggalkan kedua-duanya sekali maka yang lebih berhak ialah ayah kerana hubungan darah ayah dengan si mati iaitu anaknya lebih dekat dari datuk dengan si mati iaitu cucunya.

Ahli waris dan Al-Hajb mempunyai empat jenis[6]:

Golongan yang tidak dihalang sama sekali dari menerima harta warisan, dia tidak akan menjadi Mahjûb walau dalam apa jua keadaan, tidak kiralah samaada Hajb Al-Hirmân atau Hajb An-Nuqshân. Mereka ialah ayah, anak lelaki dan anak perempuan. Seperti anak lelaki tetap akan menjadi ‘Ashabah walau dalam apa jua keadaan dan anak perempuan tetap akan mendapat ½ kalau dia anak perempuan tunggal dan 2/3 kalau dia berdua atau lebih dan tidak mempunyai ahli waris yang meng’ashabahkan dia.

Golongan yang terhalang, iaitu termahjub; Hirmân juga Nuqshân. Mereka ialah cucu perempuan dari anak lelaki anak saudara perempuan seayah.

Golongan yang terhalang, iaitu termahjub tetapi secara Nuqshân dan tidak secara Hirmân. Mereka ialah ibu, suami dan isteri. Ketiga-tiga ahli waris ini berhak mendapatkan harta peninggalan si mati, mereka tidak akan terhalang secara mutlak tetapi bahagian mereka akan berubah mengikut keadaan. Bahagian suami akan menjadi ½ sekiranya isteri tidak mempunyai keturunan tetapi ia akan berkurangan menjadi ¼ sekiranya isteri meninggalkan Al-Far’u Al-Wârits.

Golongan yang menghalang, iaitu memahjubkan secara Hirmân tidak secara Nuqshân dan mereka ialah datuk, nenek, cucu lelaki dari anak lelaki, saudara lelaki kandung, saudara perempuan kandung, saudara lelaki seayah, anak saudara lelaki kandung, anak saudara lelaki seayah, saudara lelaki seibu, saudara perempuan seibu, pakcik kandung, pakcik seayah, sepupu dari pakcik kandung dan sepupu dari pakcik seayah. Contohnya ialah seperti bahagian asal bagi datuk ialah 1/6 dan bahagiannya sama seperti bahagian ayah, datuk tidak akan dimahjubkan sama sekali (sekiranya tiada ayah), akan tetapi dengan adanya datuk, seluruh Hawasyi (adik beradik) dan pakcik akan termahjub secara Hirmân melainkan empat iaitu saudara lelaki kandung, saudara perempuan kandung, saudara lelaki seayah dan saudara perempuan seayah.

Golongan yang termaktub di atas ini juga boleh diklasifikan kepada tiga bahagian sahaja[7]:

Golongan yang memahjubkan orang lain tetapi tidak termahjub sama sekali dan mereka ialah ayah, anak lelaki dan anak perempuan.

Golongan yang tidak memahjubkan orang lain tetapi termahjub dan mereka ialah suami dan isteri.

Golongan yang memahjubkan ahli waris yang lain dan juga yang termahjub. Mereka yang termasuk dalam golongan ini ialah ibu, datuk, nenek, cucu lelaki dari anak lelaki, cucu perempuan dari anak lelaki, saudara lelaki dan perempuan kandung, saudara lelaki dan perempuan seayah, anak saudara lelaki kandung, anak saudara lelaki seayah, saudara lelaki dan perempuan seibu, pakcik kandung, pakcik seayah, sepupu dari pakcik kandung, sepupu dari pakcik seayah.

Perbezaan di antara Al-Hajb dan Al-Man’u

Al-Man’u atau yang terlarang dari mendapat harta warisan sama Al-Hajb Al-Washfiy. Al-Man’u ialah yang terlarang dari mendapat harta warisan secara keseluruhan atau secara mutlak kerana ada sesuatu sebab yang menyebabkan terjadinya larangan tersebut, atau kerana sesuatu sifat yang ada padanya yang menyebabkan dia terlarang dari mendapatkan haknya. Dalam hal Al-Man’u ini dia dianggap sebagai tidak ada. Kewujudannya tidak akan mempengaruhi bahagian ahli waris yang lain, dia tidak akan mengurangi hak waris tersebut.

Al-Man’u atau yang terlarang dari mendapat harta warisan ada tiga jenis: pembunuhan, perhambaan dan berlainan agama. Seorang pembunuh itu tidak akan mewarisi harta yang telah dibunuhnya itu. Contoh seperti seorang anak lelaki yang membunuh ayahnya, maka anak tersebut tidak mempunyai hak untuk mendapat harta peninggalan ayahnya. Sekiranya kematian ayahnya itu meninggalkan seorang isteri dan seorang ibu maka bahagian mereka tidak akan berkurangan dengan adanya anak yang membunuh tadi. Mereka berhak untuk mendapat bahagian yang tertinggi iaitu isterinya tetap mendapat ¼ dan ibunya tetap mendapat 1/3.

Seorang hamba tidak akan mendapat harta peninggalan tuannya kerana sifat yang ada padanya iaitu hamba dan begitu juga dengan seorang yang murtad atau memang berlainan agama. Orang yang murtad atau berlainan agama tidak berhak untuk mendapatkan bahagiannya dan kehadiran mereka tidak akan menggugat bahagian ahli waris yang lain.

Al-Hajb pula ialah terhalang atau tertahannya seseorang itu dari mendapatkan bahagiannya samaada terhalang secara keseluruhan atau secara sebahagian kerana adanya ahli waris lain yang lebih berhak menerima harta warisan tersebut dan juga sebab adanya nas yang memahjubkan bahagiannya. Dalam hal ini, ada atau tiadanya seseorang ahli waris itu akan mempengaruhi bahagian ahli waris yang lain. Contohnya, adanya anak akan mengurangkan bahagian isteri, adanya dua atau lebih dari adik-beradik akan mengurangkan bahagian ibu, adanya ayah akan membuatkan datuk dan adik-beradik termahjub secara mutlak.

Kesimpulannya:

Dengan mempelajari dan mendalami ilmu Al-Mawârîts, seseorang itu akan lebih memahami dan menghayati keindahan syari’at Islam yang amat mulia ini. Dia akan merasai betapa lengkapnya sistem yang telah disusun oleh Allah ‘azza wa jalla, Tuhan semesta alam ini. Dengan adanya ilmu Al-Mawârîts ini, ahli waris tidak akan bertelagah meminta hak kerana bahagian masing-masing telah ditentukan dengan begitu nyata di samping terselitnya hikmah di sebalik setiap sesuatu yang telah ditentukan Allah itu.

[1] Muhammad Jabal AN. Pengantar Ringkas & Lembar Kerja Pelatihan Ilmu Al-Mawârîts Dengan Sistem Syajarah Al-Mîrâts. Tingkat Dasar. Majelis Al-Mawârîts. Hlmn: 30.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ibid.

[4] د. محمد طه أبو العلاء خليفة. أحكام المواريث، 1400 مسألة ميراثية. دار السلام. الطبعة الثالثة. 1428هـ - 2007م. ص: 377.

[5] Op. cit. Hlmn: 31.

[6] Op. cit. Hlmn: 389.

[7] Ibid. Hlmn: 390.

Usia oh usia...

2009-07-28T01:21:00.001+08:00

I don’t really know what I actually feel when I was asked this question: “You first year ke?” which literally means: “Are you in your first year?” I don’t know how to answer it sometimes and finally this will be my most common answer “Yeah I’m in my first year but I’m doing my master.” Then banyaklah muka-muka terkejut yang I nampak. Terus conversation nya akan berbunyi begini: “Umur you berapa?” My answer is simple “I’m 24.” Dan sememangnya akan bertambahlah adegan terkejut mereka yang bertanya. They thought I’m not my age at all and after that many comments will follow their astonished expression like “Eh tak macam 24 lah.” They thought I’m younger! Many thought that I’m 19, that’s why they thought I’m in my first year doing bachelor degree. Some others thought that I’m in my early 20s like 20, 21 or 22.

There was this one incident that I encountered when I was sick and waiting for the USM clinic to re-open. I went to the prayer room to perform my Asar prayer and while waiting for the azan, two girls who were in the same room broke a conversation with me. I’m happy; at least there are still friendly people in this world. These two girls are architecture students and they are in their first year. The first question that they asked me was: “First year juga ke?” My answer was: “Ya first year tapi I amik master.” Their reply was something like this “Oh dah master ke? Kita orang ingat you pun mcm kita orang juga, 1st year tapi degree.” I hanya mampu tersenyum pada ketika itu. Their next doubt was “Umur you berapa?” And my answer was definitely I told them my real age. Another surprised expression was written on their faces and it was then followed by their comment “Kita ingat you 19 juga macam kita, you tak macam 24, you macam 19.” Hehehe.. Girls, takkanlah I nak bohong you all pula kan…

This age matter is actually a very common scenario for me, I am not surprised anyway. Wherever I go people think that I am still in my late teens. In fact, my cousins were also wondering how old I am. They know that I’m not that young but they don’t know what my real age is. Furthermore, I’m not married yet so that fact adds to their doubt.

I don’t know why I don’t look my age, maybe it’s because of my petite size or maybe it’s because of the way I present myself. I don’t really know. Sometimes I can’t help myself to wonder about it.

It’s quite honourable (hahaha) to be thought as someone who is not your age yet younger (bukan nak perasan lah kan.. riyak pula nanti.. riyak kan dosa!) but there are also times that you start to feel frustrated. Frustrated for the fact that you are actually no longer a younger person like the way people thought you are. How sometimes I wish that I am really a 19 year old girl but unfortunately I am now 5 years older than that age! Next year in January I’ll be 25 (siapa-siapa yang baca jangan buat-buat lupa pula bulan keramat ni! :p), tahun depan dah cukup suku abad saya hidup! How time flies! Rasa macam baru bulan lepas habis secondary school, baru minggu lepas habis college education, baru semalam habis bachelor degree. Macam baru semalam juga fikir-fikir nak pergi mana to continue with my tertiary education, apa nak buat dalam hidup, should choose the mainstream or the religious/arabic stream? Akhirnya saya pun pilihlah jalan bahagia yang membawa saya ke bumi USM ni.. Allah penentu segalanya dan saya masih menanti apakah rancangan Dia untuk saya bagi hari-hari esok dan yang bakal mendatang.. Moga usia yang bakal meningkat ini akan membawa manfaat bagi diri saya, keluarga, agama, bangsa dan masyarakat. May I can contribute something precious to all of these and may all of the mentioned can benefit something from me. I really want to be someone.. A prominent someone..

A friend of mine used to give me this advice when I was having some personal problems and I confided in her. An advice that I can still remember till today, an advice that I take as my key to achieve success. The advice is “You are an amazing person; I think He has something better in store for you.” To Ummu Haini, if you are reading this entry, I would like to say my big thanks to you for your unconditional advices that you always gave me when I was struck with grief, sorrow and depression. Only Allah will bless and reward you for your kindness and patience in attending to me when I was in my unstable condition. Your words, other than my parents’ are my remedy, my all-time remedy, since we were in Egypt, you went back and I was alone there and now I’m here in USM. Remember me in your prayers.

The Conversation and My Concept of Human and Women's Rights

2009-07-26T16:59:00.003+08:00

I just had a conversation with my next door neighbour, at first it was just a simple discussion on how does she go to town, how does she go to do her shopping, at last it became a serious discussion on the political and world issues. Hmm.. Sounds great uh. Quite great but not as great as the discussions on Newsweek and Times or BBC, CNN and Aljazeera. J

I am a very inquisitive person and this attitude of mine has existed in me since I was small. That’s what my parents told me. To be frank there are times when this attitude has landed me in trouble. I guess I engaged myself with the wrong people. Not everyone likes to ask questions and likes to discuss serious issues. When I was doing my 1st degree in Egypt I can still remember a friend of mine told me this: ‘Puti kalau tanya soalan, soalan dia kalau kita boleh jawab macam boleh dapat duit gitu.’ The translation is: ‘When Puti asked questions and when we can afford to answer her it is like we can earn money from it.’ Thanks a lot for the statement Irfani, I can still remember that statement till today and two years has passed since you said it. It makes me become more careful sometimes. I wish you good luck with your International Studies at NTU and Happy Belated Birthday. Yesterday was her birthday.

What were the issues that were discussed with Mdm Nasirah? Mdm Nasirah is my neighbour, a PhD student taking Pharmacy. She is from Pakistan. A very matured lady as her age is around my parents’ age. Reminds me of my parents back there in Singapore. It all started when we talked about the currency rate between Pakistan and Malaysia and Pakistan and Singapore till it was extended to the issues in US, Russia, Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, India, Afghanistan and the most important thing was Pakistan that I want to highlight here in my entry. We are exposed to the claim that Pakistan is a terrorist country. I am never a judgemental person. Whatever is the news that I heard from the media I will usually take it with a pinch of salt. Read it with an open mind. Hear it with an open heart. There are times when we have to act this way: Read it, hear it but don’t use it. As I told you I am not a judgemental person and I am someone who is hard to believe something that I don’t see it with my eyes and has no proof and no evidence. I am neither skeptical nor cynical but this is just the way I am. I am just being neutral and just.

I took this opportunity to discuss with her what is the situation that is really happening in Pakistan? How is her country? How is the environment there? How are the society, tradition and culture there? Mdm Nasirah is a warm and friendly person. She told me how the situation is without even waiting for me to ask her questions. It was like she could anticipate what was in my head. We talked about the caste that is very popular in India especially among Hindu society. There are the high caste and the low caste. There are four main castes and the high caste is called Brahmins. This is the thing that disturbs my rational mind. Not really disturbed but I am a supporter of the Human Rights and Woman Rights campaign, thus this is where I think we should implement this campaign, this is the time to shout out the campaign slogan. This is the most appropriate and suitable time to educate the society about human rights. I don’t see the significance of having such social caste in a society as every human being deserves his right as a human. Everyone deserves to be treated nicely, justly and everyone has the right to be recognized and acknowledged in the society. Everyone has the right to feel the blessings that God has given and grant us. Everyone ought to be given the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of life. Therefore my question is: Is this caste system in the society is fair? Is this system is acknowledged in the Human Rights? Does this type of treatment should be abolished in the society? Or can it be replaced with a better system?

It is not a proper treatment to do to human being. As a human I feel it is so unjust and inhuman to treat the society this way; to have a high caste and low caste. And to treat the low caste like slave for slavery is long gone, has been abolished since donkey years.

Another issue that was discussed with Mdm Nasirah was how woman was treated in Pakistan. From my personal view, woman was treated in a noble way, unlike the way that was told or maybe I should say imposed in the media. Woman in Pakistan is not abused by her father or family. Woman is sent to school to have good education. Woman is allowed to work. The Pakistanis treat woman so noble that woman is not allowed to do a low class type of work like a cashier, customer support officer and receptionist. I am not looking down on these types of jobs it is a way of showing and comparing different class of jobs. These kinds of jobs are just the common jobs that every human being can do, not much education is needed to do such jobs. In Pakistan woman holds a high position. Woman is allowed to become a doctor, pharmacist, architect, teacher, university lecturer and other high class jobs which are done only by those who are well-educated. If woman is not allowed to go to school, if woman is not allowed to work, if woman is oppressed, then let us think how Benazir Bhuto was able to get such a high position?

Daughters are treated better in terms of privileges. The parents will never force their daughter to work and if she wants to continue with her education she is allowed to do so. If a daughter works, they won’t take and use her salary for their own benefits. A son has a harder role as he is a son. He is required to be more independent and takes responsibilities more than the daughter does.

The Pakistanis are happy and contented with their life. They are enjoying their style of living. It’s their way of life, it’s their culture. Thus, it is unfair to be judgemental. As for me myself, I don’t find any fault in their way of living and in the way they treat women. All of us may have different cultures and traditions and I think as long as the cultures and traditions do not violate the human rights, religious rights, nation rights then why must we blame one another and claim that our race is better, our culture is better. Just like we Asians eat rice as our staple food, while the Arabs and Westerns eat bread as their staple food. Can we say that the Arabs and Westerns are outdated and uncivilized, just because of the difference? What happen if we are forced to change our staple food from rice to bread? I’m sure there will be many parties who will rebel, demonstrate and create trouble.

Pakistan is actually not a very poor country like we always hear from the media. It is not a very backward third world country. There are many hidden issues that we don’t know behind what is actually happening in this world so I think it is unfair to judge without knowing the true fact, without talking to someone who experiences it and without seeing it with our own eyes

Mdm Nasirah did tell me that there are some who are very conservative and ill-treat their women but it is a very small amount compared to the rest. These people come from a very small part of Pakistan and they come from the interior rural part of Pakistan. Out of 100% it is just 10% of it.

This conversation has become an eye-opener for me and I am relief now that I know the true fact about the country. I am never a bias and prejudice person and I feel that it is proven that my theory in acting to such issues is not an incorrect theory (applicable for myself only, am not asking you to be like me).

I am still in my journey to explore new things and if I have the money, I really want to travel to many places in this world, to see the reality of life. My style is just not the luxurious type, as my main intention is not to enjoy merely but to explore, see and learn. I hope I can find a husband who shares the same interest, who loves sightseeing and travelling. And the most important thing is he’s well off enough to provide me with that contentment.

Just a Piece of Paper

2009-07-12T14:58:00.006+08:00

It is just a piece of paper that says it all.

It is just a piece of paper that states
you can choose the best class
or the best school in town.

It is just a piece of paper that says
you are eligible to enter the college
or the post secondary institution.

It is just a piece of paper that says
you are qualified for the university.

It is just a piece of paper that states
you are done with your first degree education
and can enter a new phase of life

And.. That is what we call the working life..
And.. That is what we call the new beginning of life..

It is just a piece of paper that says
you can continue with your postgraduate study.

It is just a piece of paper that gives you
the greenlight to pursue your doctorate.

And actually..
It is just a piece of paper
that determines your future and life.

Therefore, seize the opportunity,
grab the chance to seek for knowledge,
for knowledge is the only tool
that differentiate between you and others.

Wahai pakar-pakar bahasa...

2009-07-11T18:27:00.003+08:00

Kepada para pakar Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Melayu di luar sana, minta maaflah kalau ada ketidaksedapan dan kegenjutan dalam kedua-dua bahasa ini yang saya gunakan sebagai 'medium' penulisan saya. Al-maklum ajelah, dah berzaman lamanya saya tinggalkan kedua-dua bahasa ini, saya belajar menggunakan 'medium' Bahasa Arab. Grammar dan tatabahasa dan my construction of sentences kalau pelik sikit harap dimaafkan. Saya tengah nak tangkap 'feel' balik dalam kedua-dua bahasa ini. Sekian lamanya saya tidak betul-betul menulis. Saya hanya membaca sahaja tanpa menulis. Saya pula lebih banyak membaca bahan bacaan Bahasa Inggeris. Kalau Bahasa Melayu, yang sering saya baca yang kurang ilmiah.. Hehehe.. Kalau bahan bacaan ilmiah yang dalam Bahasa Melayu saya sering pening-pening lalat sebab bahasanya tinggi. Hehehe.. Jangan diikut ya tabiat buruk saya ni..

RRG dan 'al-Wala' wal Bara'

2009-06-11T18:14:00.011+08:00

Semenjak menghadiri 'retreat' RRG, saya lebih mendapat pendedahan kepada konsep 'al-Wala' wal Bara' dan ramai yang sudah mula mengenali konsep 'al-Wala' wal Bara' ini. Ramai sebenarnya yang tidak mengenali hakikat dan ideologi ini. Apa tidaknya ia bukanlah satu teori atau perkara yang diajar di lingkungan bilik darjah. Tidak di Universiti apatahlagi di madrasah/sekolah agama. Akidah atau teori ini bukan satu teori yang 'popular'. Ia tidak masuk pun dalam skop pembelajaran ilmu-ilmu Islam.

Rata-rata semua pelajar atau lulusan agama tidak tahu langsung apakah itu 'al-Wala' wal Bara'. Semasa di madrasah memang tidak ada diajar langsung, di kolej juga begitu, sehinggalah di universiti. Jangan tersilap! Di universiti pun tidak ada langsung diajarkan akidah ini. Rata-rata teman-teman saya juga tidak pernah langsung mendengar konsep ini. Dan teman-teman saya ini adalah mereka yang mengambil Syariah dan Usuluddin semasa di universiti. Saya ini mungkin kalau tidak tahu dimaafkan, sebab 'major' saya ialah Bahasa Arab dan skop pembelajaran saya pun lebih tertumpu kepada bahasa, sastera dan ketamadunan bangsa.

Ala kulli hal, konsep ini sebenarnya memang tidak ada langsung disentuh di Universiti Al-Azhar, Mesir apatahlagi diajar. Teman-teman saya beritahu yang dalam 'retreat' RRG itulah pertama kali mereka mendengar konsep 'al-Wala' wal Bara' ini. Dan sekarang barulah saya tahu bahawa begitu juga dengan pelajar-pelajar di Syria. Mereka juga tidak tahu langsung apakah itu 'al-Wala' wal Bara'. Tidak pernah dengar langsung. Dan saya rasa begitu juga dengan mereka yang belajar di Jordan dan Kuwait.

Pada awalnya saya fikir teman-teman seperjuangan semua tahu dan pernah dengar ideologi ini. Hanya saya seorang sahaja yang terpaksa buat kerja lebih sedikit dengan melakukan pembacaan di luar kuliah tentang akidah ini, rupanya saya tersilap. Cuma saya seorang sahaja yang pernah dengar dan membaca tentang ini. Bukanlah saya nak bangga atau riyak. Jauh sekali. Itu bukan sifat seorang mukmin. Saya juga tidak pernah mendapat apa-apa pendedahan tentang 'al-Wala' wal Bara' ini. Sesuatu yang tidak 'familiar' di kamus pengetahuan saya dan di kotak pemikiran saya. Mungkin secara kebetulan saya ini seorang yang suka membaca dan terlalu 'inquisitive'. Jangan salah anggap! Saya bukan hendak riyak. Saya akui kadang-kadang sifat 'inquisitive' saya ini juga membuatkan saya berada 'in trouble'.

Disebabkan sifat 'kaypoh' saya ini, saya terpanggil untuk membaca tentang 'al-Wala' wal Bara' selepas saya terbaca tulisan seorang Ustaz yang menjadi penyelidik di Singapura tentang konsep ini. Kebetulan semasa rencana itu keluar di suratkhabar saya sedang berada dalam cuti musim panas, jadi saya berada di Singapura ketika itu. Pada awalnya saya hairan, kenapa saya tidak pernah dengar pun tentang hal ini, kemudian baru saya 'realise' yang banyak hal yang berkaitan dengan agama adalah bersifat global, sama juga dengan sains dan hal ehwal dunia yang lain. Tidak semua perkara yang diajar di lingkungan sekolah dan universiti. Ada beberapa perkara adalah berbentuk penyelidikan atau hanya dipelajari oleh mereka yang mendalami bidang tersebut atau hanya dibahaskan oleh mereka yang pakar dalam bidang masing-masing. Mana mungkin saya yang hanya belajar Matematik dan Fizik sehingga ke peringkat O Level diajarkan 'theory of relativity'. Itu adalah sesuatu yang mustahil. Contoh lain yang lebih dekat dengan saya ialah seperti saya mungkin hanya belajar 'basic concepts and theories of Usul Fiqh' tetapi mereka yang mengambil jurusan Syariah mempelajarinya secara mendalam. Mereka yang mengambil Syariah pula hanya belajar Balaghah secara asas sahaja, tetapi saya yang mengambil Bahasa Arab ni macam nak rak mendalami bidang retorik ini. Sampai pening-pening dibuatnya.

Selepas terbaca tulisan Ustaz tersebut (saya tidak ingat siapa penulisnya), saya mula 'ponder upon the matter'. Yang penting di rumah saya tidak ada buku yang dapat membantu saya dengan persoalan saya itu walaupun di rumah saya ini ada banyak buku-buku agama dalam Bahasa Arab. Ayah saya juga seorang yang suka membaca, faktor itu juga yang menyumbang kepada banyaknya buku di rumah saya. Ayah saya bukanlah seorang ustaz atau agamawan tapi ayah saya adalah pencinta ilmu dan bahasa. Dia juga suka membaca buku-buku Inggeris. Kalau dia menonton TV, tidak ada benda lain yang ditontoni melainkan BBC atau CNN atau CNA atau segala apa saluran yang 'educational' sahaja. Tidak seperti saya ini, saya tonton juga siaran lain. Hehe.. HBO juga yang saya cari kadang-kadang. Saya ini jangan diikut bila benda-benda yang kurang baik begini. Tapi saya tidaklah selalu menonton TV. Tiada masa yang banyak pun untuk TV. (Nak 'cover' aje saya ni :p).

Selepas menyedari tidak ada buku di rumah yang membahaskan isu 'al-Wala' wal Bara' itu, saya kuburkan sahaja niat itu. Lagipun isu yang dibahaskan hanyalah berkisarkan pada pemerintahan sesebuah negara dan ada kaitan dengan pemerintah yang Islam dan bukan Islam. Ia bukanlah satu isu yang saya minati. Saya 'very neutral' dalam hal begini. 'I'm not politically inclined'. Cuma saya sedikit hendak tahu sebab saya tidak pernah dengar langsung konsep itu. Akhirnya kesibukan saya dengan hal-hal lain membuatkan saya lupa pada tajuk yang baru saya dengar itu dan ia terus terbiar di 'subconscious mind' saya sehinggalah saya kembali semula ke Mesir.

Pada suatu hari semasa di Mesir, ketika saya sedang menunggu teman saya di klinik, kalau tidak silap saya sebab saya pun ingat-ingat lupa, saya terpandang di hadapan mata saya ada berbagai-bagai jenis buku. Saya ini pantang jumpa buku, mesti hendak belek-belek dan mencari-cari. Cari apa entah saya pun tidak pasti. Apa-apa sahaja asalkan masa tidak terbuang begitu sahaja. Lalu ada sebuah buku kecil yang menangkap pandangan saya dan buku itu ialah tentang 'al-Wala' wal Bara'. Ia langsung mengingatkan saya pada pembacaan saya sewaktu cuti yang lalu. Saya lalu mengambil buku tersebut dan membacanya sehingga habis buku itu dan saya dan teman saya masih dalam penantian yang menyiksakan. Apa yang saya dapati dari pembacaan saya ialah konsep atau teori ini lebih tertumpu kepada hubunga antara Muslim dan bukan Muslim dalam sebuah negara. That's when I really have a clear view on the topic. Ooopss saya ni tersasul lah. Bukankah saya sudah 'vow' untuk tulis sebanyak mungkin dalam bahasa Melayu. What is vow in Malay uh? Segala persoalan saya lalu terjawab. Cuma saya ni orangnya 'very neutral'. Tak suka terlalu 'bias and prejudice'. So I assumed that reading just a small piece of book is not enough to create a great understanding on that matter. Dan kadang-kadang sesuatu topik itu perlu dibaca dan diambil 'with a pinch of salt'. Selepas itu 'inquisitiveness' saya tentang perkara itu berkurangan maka terkuburlah apa yang saya 'wonder and ponder' itu di situ. Mungkin faktor kesibukan yang menyumbang ke arah itu. Apa yang disibukkan pun saya tidak tahu. Time flies.. Sehinggalah saya masuk tahun empat, graduate from Al-Azhar dan 'al-Wala' wal bara' itu masih tidur di 'subconscious mind' saya.

Maka tanggallah 2 Jun 2009 yang mengingatkan saya semula kepada topik ini. What rang the bell was the presentation from Ust. Ali Muhammad. He actually did his PhD on this 'al-Wala' wal Bara', so as RRG is a bit related to this matter, he was called upon to present a paper work on this which is actually based on his PhD dissertation. My greatest assumption is that since Ust. works with RRG, therefore he continues his PhD on this field as it is related to his carrier.

I told you before that I am not politically inclined and I am a very neutral person when engaging in a discussion, so I don't want to be bias. I don't want to comment anything on this issue and on his PhD dissertation. I know that my knowledge in this field is still insufficient and limited. I still need to read a book on 'al-Wala' wal Bara' by Muhammad Sa'eed al-Qahtani, a Saudi Arabian scholar. I advise that you read that book also and after reading and contemplating it, I leave it to you to judge. BUT my advice is please read it with an open mind and some things may need further research and discussion. And PLEASE do not interpret it literally without knowledge as you and I may misinterpret it. Those who can't read and understand Arabic Language, you may read the translation of the book which is already translated in English. Have fun, take care and enjoy your life. :)

Finding books on epistemology

2009-06-10T11:00:00.005+08:00

Yesterday I went to Wisma Indah to find some books on Islamic Epistemology, Islamic and Conventional Management and Human Development in the perspective of Islam and conventional. I did find a few books that could help me with in preparing for my postgraduate studies but unfortunately I didn't have enough cash with me. I actually have the money but nowadays I have to be more economical and watch my budget as I need to run many important errands that use money before I go off.

The book that attracted me was by Malik Bennabi. I forgot the title of the book but if I'm not mistaken it is about human society. The focal point of his book is on Muslim society and their decline.

Malik Bennabi was an Algerian thinker and he was born in Constantine, Algeria in the midst of the French occupation of his country. As we know Algeria is greatly influenced by the French and till today French language is one of its main languages. Malik Bennabi was educated a French education both at his homeland and France. Despite that, he still had his childhood education in Arabic and the Qur‘an was an important reserve which he developed and took as a source at his later age.

That's a short description on Malik Bennabi and to know more about him and his writings, we can search at the Epistemology website that I have linked for us or we can find it at Wikipedia.

At last, instead of buying books on what I've been searching for, I depend on the internet to help me with my warm up. Therefore I came up with this i-epistemology.net and I hope that both you and I will benefit from this website. I've done with my job in spreading the words of knowledge and wisdom by linking this blog of mine to the epistemology website. Hope you enjoy yourself.

Retreat, training, seminar dan yang sewaktu dengannya

2009-06-09T22:32:00.003+08:00

Selepas 'retreat' RRG yang diadakan pada 2 dan 3 Jun, saya mengikuti pula 'training' atau 'course' yang dianjurkan oleh Darul Arqam untuk para pendakwah. Wah! Saya rasa minggu lepas hari-hari yang saya lalui dipenuhi dengan 'retreat', 'training', seminar dan yang sewaktu dengannya.

'Training' yang saya hadiri ini adalah berkenaan dengan bagaimana seorang pendakwah atau 'tour guide' perlu bermuamalah dengan pelancong yang bukan Islam? Apakah 'expectations' mereka kepada pendakwah atau 'tour guide' tersebut? Dan bagaimana harus kita menjawab segala persoalan mereka.

Overall I personally think it's a good training. There are really many informative things that I gained from this training. The speaker, Mr. Syed Raziuddin Ali was a very good speaker. He is from Bahrain but an Indian citizen. He is the founder of Discover Islam Bahrain. This training was held at Masjid Sultan on the 6th and 7th June. Although I have to admit that it was quite a tiring day but I am very very satisfied and happy.

Thank you so much to Sis Nursaidah, my colleague, for proposing my name to Encik Rahman for me to join this training. Allah bless you always Sis. And I know that I'm going to miss you...

New Exposure

2009-06-04T10:21:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wr. wb.

Starting from today onwards I think it's time for me to update my blog as often as I can. I better write in Malay. At times I know that I need to practise writing both in Malay and English. And I better start to write in Arabic and write more and more educational articles. Kena ada anjakan paradigma sebab sekarang ni dah tamat belajar ijazah sarjana muda, tak lama lagi akan sambung dalam bidang ijazah sarjana, insya Allah, doakan saya hamba Allah yang lemah ni dan yang sentiasa mencari cahaya kebenaran Tuhan yang Maha Esa.

Semalam dan dua hari lepas, saya baru saja menghadiri 'retreat' organised by RRG. Do you know what is RRG? It is Religious Rehabilitation Group. Alhamdulillah, it's a good retreat. Dan yang pasti ia mampu membuka mata saya tentang apakah yang terselindung di sebalik RRG. Ia adalah pendedahan baru buat diri saya, seorang yang masih 'amateur' dalam bidang pekerjaan dan kehidupan. Asatizah patut didedahkan dengan pengetahuan yang sebegini supaya tidak ada sikap 'skeptical' dan 'su uzzhan' dengan tugas mereka yang terlibat dengan RRG.

Apa-apa pun saya doakan yang terbaik untuk segala kebaikan yang dilakukan. Moga Allah merestui apa sahaja kebaikan yang ingin disebarkan di muka bumi ini dan moga-moga segala yang dilakukan diniatkan untuk menegakkan kalimah Allah di bumi ini.

Artikel oleh Muhammad Hanief bin Awang Yahaya

2008-10-22T21:35:00.003+08:00

Sebuah artikel yang baik dan mudah-mudahan ianya dapat memberi manfaat dan faedah buat kita semua. :) Selamat membaca!

PEREMPUAN TIDAK BERASAL DARIPADA TULANG RUSUK

Muhammad Hanief bin Awang Yahaya

Kita sering mendengar cerita bahawa Hawa diciptakan daripada tulang rusuk Adam. Sehingga terdapat ungkapan yang mengatakan wanita dijadikan daripada tulang rusuk supaya yang dekat dengan hati dan supaya sering didampingi serta diingati dan bermacam-macam lagi. Begitu juga, hampir semua kitab-kitab tafsir menyebutkan kisah penciptaan Hawa dan menjadi asas kepada ulama tafsir ketika menjelaskan maksud ayat pertama surah al-Nisa’. (Sila lihat Tafsir at-Tabari, Tafsir al-Baidhawi, al-Kahzin dan lain-lain)

Kenyataannya ialah tidak ada satupun ayat al-Quran dan Hadis Rasulullah s.a.w. yang jelas menyebutkan hakikat kejadian Hawa. Al-Quran tidak menyebutkan Hawa dicipta daripada Adam tetapi manusia itu dicipta daripada jiwa yang satu. Apa yang disebutkan di dalam al-Quran ialah manusia itu diciptakan daripada jenis yang sama dengannya juga. Seorang manusia tentunya ibu bapanya manusia juga bukan makhluk yang lain.

Abu A`la al-Mawdudi menulis komentar bagi ayat pertama surah al-Nisa’ ini: “Umumnya para pentafsir al-Quran menyebutkan Hawa dicipta daripada tulang rusuk Adam dan Bible juga menyebutkan perkara yang sama. Kitab Talmud pula menambah bahawa Hawa diciptakan daripada tulung rusuk Adam yang ketiga belas. Tetapi al-Quran tidak menyentuh langsung perkara ini dan hadis-hadis yang dipetik untuk menyokong pandangan ini mempunyai makna yang berbeza dari yang sering difahami. Oleh itu, perkara yang terbaik ialah membiarkan perkara yang tidak dijelaskan seperti yang terdapat dalam al-Quran dan tidak perlu membuang masa bagi menentukan perinciannya.” ( The Meaning of The Quran, jil. 2 hal. 94)

Menurut al-Mawdudi, hadis-hadis Rasulullah s.a.w. tidak menyatakan perkara yang sebagaimana yang tersebar dalam masyarakat Islam iaitu sebenarnya tidak ada satupun hadis baginda s.a.w yang menerangkan asal- usul kejadian Hawa.

Kaedah yang sebenar ialah tidak perlu memberatkan diri dalam menentukan perkara yang Allah s.w.t. tidak menyatakan dengan terang dan jelas. Contohnya, apabila Allah s.w.t. menyebutkan cerita tentang bahtera Nabi Nuh tidak perlu bagi kita untuk menentukan apakah saiz dan kapasitinya atau bahan buatannya. Perincian itu bukan menjadi maksud penurunan al-Quran. Apa yang penting ialah menjadikan peristiwa tersebut sebagai iktibar dab pengajaran. Dengan kata lain, al-Quran bukan kitab sejarah atau sains tetapi kitab yang memberi panduan hidup kepada manusia supaya selamat di dunia dan akhirat.

Dalam hal ini Shah Waliyullah menyebutkan dengan jelasnya. Kata beliau ketika mengulas kisah-kisah yang diceritakan oleh al-Quran: “Bukanlah maksud cerita-cerita di dalam al-Quran untuk mengetahui cerita itu sendiri. Maksud sebenarnya ialah supaya pembaca memikirkan betapa bahayanya syirik dan kemaksiatan serta hukuman Allah hasil dari perbuatan syirik itu di samping menenangkan hati orang-orang yang ikhlas dengan tibanya pertolongan dan perhatian Allah kepada mereka” (al-`Fawz al-Kabir Fi Usul al-Tafsir, hal. 138)

Mengapa Berlaku Kekeliruan Tentang Kejadian Hawa Ini?

Ada beberapa faktor mengapa berlaku kekeliruan dalam memahami makna sebenar ayat ini:

1. Berpegang Dengan Riwayat Israiliyyat

Fasal yang kedua di dalam Sifr al-Takwin menyebutkan Hawa diciptakan daripada tulang rusuk kiri Nabi Adam ketika baginda sedang tidur. (Tafsir al-Manar, jil. 4, hal. 268.) Disebabkan ada riwayat dalam kitab-kitab yang dahulu, ahli-ahli tafsir terus menganggap ia sebagai sokongan atau pentafsiran kepada al-Quran. Bagaimana mungkin ayat al-Quran ditafsirkan dengan riwayat Israiliyyat walhal penurunan kitab-kitab nabi terdahulu lebih awal lagi daripada al-Quran. Sepatutnya, kitab yang turun kemudianlah yang menjelaskan kitab-kitab yang terdahulu.

Hadis berkenaan perkara ini mempunyai beberapa versi. Antaranya ialah;

1. Perempuan itu diciptakan daripada tulang rusuk
2. Perempuan seperti tulang rusuk.
3. Perempuan adalah tulang rusuk.

2. Mengkhususkan Keumuman Hadis Tanpa Nas Yang Jelas

Antara kesilapan dan kekeliruan ialah mengkhususkan lafaz hadis yang menyebut perempuan kepada Hawa. Hadis-hadis yang diriwayatkan daripada Rasulullah s.a.w. semuanya dengan jelas menyatakan perempuan dalam bentuk tunggal atau jamak dan tidak ada yang menyebutkan Hawa secara khusus. Jelasnya, para pentafsir menyangka wanita dalam hadis tersebut adalah Hawa tanpa berdasarkan kepada nas yang lain yang menentukan makna yang dikehendaki oleh Rasulullah s.a.w. itu.

3. Kesilapan Memahami Kata Sendi Nama Min من

Walaupun perkataan min itu memberi erti “daripada”, “punca sesuatu perkara” atau “sebahagian”, kata sendi nama min juga mempunyai makna lain seperti “untuk menyatakan sebab” dan “menyatakan jenis sesuatu perkara”. Oleh itu, pemakaian huruf ini dalam bahasa Arab adalah luas dan tidak semestinya terikat dengan satu makna sahaja. (lihat, Ibn Hisyam, Mughni al-Labib, jil. 1, hal. 319)

Abu Muslim al-Asfahani mengatakan, maksud menciptakan daripadanya pasangannya ialah menciptakannya dari jenisnya. (lihat Hasyiah Zadah `Ala al-Baidhawi) Ini seperti ayat-ayat al-Quran berikut:

وَمِنْ آَيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآَيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

Dan di antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaannya dan rahmatNya, bahawa Dia menciptakan untuk kamu (wahai kaum lelaki), isteri-isteri dari jenis kamu sendiri, supaya kamu bersenang hati dan hidup mesra dengannya dan dijadikanNya di antara kamu (suami isteri) perasaan kasih sayang dan belas kasihan. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu mengandungi keterangan-keterangan (yang menimbulkan kesedaran) bagi orang-orang yang berfikir. (Surah al-Rum: 21)

فَاطِرُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ جَعَلَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَمِنَ الْأَنْعَامِ أَزْوَاجًا يَذْرَؤُكُمْ فِيهِ لَيْسَ كَمِثْلِهِ شَيْءٌ وَهُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْبَصِيرُ

Dialah yang menciptakan langit dan bumi; Dia menjadikan bagi kamu pasangan-pasangan dari jenis kamu sendiri dan menjadikan dari jenis binatang-binatang ternak pasangan-pasangan (bagi bintang-binatang itu); dengan jalan yang demikian dikembangkanNya (zuriat keturunan) kamu semua. Tiada sesuatupun yang sebanding dengan (ZatNya, sifat-sifatNya dan pentadbiranNya) dan Dialah Yang Maha Mendengar, lagi Maha Melihat. (Surah al-Syura: 11)

وَاللَّهُ جَعَلَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَجَعَلَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ بَنِينَ وَحَفَدَةً وَرَزَقَكُمْ مِنَ الطَّيِّبَاتِ

Dan Allah telah menjadikan bagi kamu pasangan-pasangan dari jenis kamu sendiri dan menjadikan bagi kamu daripada pasangan-pasangan kamu anak-anak dan cucu dan memberikan rezki kepada kamu daripada benda-benda yang baik. (Surah al-Nahl: 72)
Ayat-ayat ini tidak boleh difahami sebagai isteri-isteri kita itu diciptakan daripada diri atau jasad kita tetapi mestilah difahami sebagai “mereka itu dari jenis yang sama dengan kita”.

لَقَدْ جَاءَكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَءُوفٌ رَحِيمٌ

Sesungguhnya telah datang kepada kamu seorang rasul dari jenis kamu, yang amat berat baginya kesusahan kamu, sangat berharap akan keimanan kamu dan sangat kasih serta menyayangi kepada orang-orang yang beriman. (Surah al-Taubah:128)

لَقَدْ مَنَّ اللَّهُ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِذْ بَعَثَ فِيهِمْ رَسُولًا مِنْ أَنْفُسِهِمْ يَتْلُو عَلَيْهِمْ آَيَاتِهِ وَيُزَكِّيهِمْ وَيُعَلِّمُهُمُ الْكِتَابَ وَالْحِكْمَةَ وَإِنْ كَانُوا مِنْ قَبْلُ لَفِي ضَلَالٍ مُبِينٍ

Sesungguhnya Allah s.w.t. telah memberikan kurniaan yang besar kepada orang-orang yang beriman ketika Dia mengutuskan seorang rasul kepada mereka dari kalangan mereka sendiri, yang membacakan ayat-ayat-Nya kepada mereka, menyucikan mereka dan mengajarkan Kitab dan Hikmah. Sesungguhnya mereka sebelum itu berada di dalam kesesatan yang nyata. (Surah Ali Imran: 164.)

Kedua-dua ayat ini dengan jelasnya menyebutkan Rasulullah s.a.w. yang diutuskan kepada kita adalah dari kalangan manusia yang sama seperti kita bukan dari kalangan makhluk yang lain seperti malaikat.

Dengan itu, hadis ini ditafsirkan sebagai sifat dan perasaan perempuan itu daripada jenis yang mudah bengkok.

عن أبي هريرة عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: (من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فلا يؤذي جاره واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا، فإنهن خلقن من ضلع، وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه، فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته، وأن تركته لم يزل أعوج، فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا).

Sesiapa yang beriman dengan Allah dan Hari Akhirat, maka janganlah menyakiti jirannya dan hendaklah dia menjaga wanita dengan sebaik-baiknya kerana sesungguhnya mereka diciptakan daripada tulang rusuk. Sesungguhnya tulang rusuk yang paling bengkok ialah yang paling atas, jika kamu berusaha untuk membetulkannya kamu akan mematahkannya, jika kamu terus biarkan begitu ia akan terus bengkok. Oleh itu terimalah pesanan supaya menjaga wanita-wanita dengan baik. (Hadis riwayat al-Bukhari no: 4890)

عن أبي هريرة: أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: (المرأة كالضلع، إن أقمتها كسرتها.

Perempuan itu seperti tulang rusuk. Jika kamu ingin memperbetulkannya kamu akan mematahkannya. (Hadis riwayat al-Bukhari4889).

Hadis ini telah dikemukakan oleh Imam al-Bukhari di dalam kitab al-Nikah bab berlembut dengan wanita. Tujuan al-Bukhari mengemukakan hadis ini ialah untuk menyatakan sifat fitrah wanita bukannya hakikat kejadian mereka. Apakah tubuh atau jasad wanita akan mudah patah apabila dikasari oleh orang lain? Tentu sekali tidak.

عن أبي هريرة. قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: إن المرأة كالضلع. إذا ذهبت تقيمها كسرتها.

Sesungguhnya perempuan itu seperti tulang rusuk. Jika kamu ingin memperbetulkannya kamu akan mematahkannya. (Hadis riwayat Muslim no: 1468.)

Hadis ini lebih jelas lagi menyatakan sifat perempuan itu seperti tulang rusuk bukan diciptakan daripada tulang rusuk. Penggunakan partikel kaf ك ini bagi menyatakan persamaan antara perempuan dan tulang rusuk. Sementara ayat yang kedua merupakan sudut persamaan antara kedua-duanya.

Kecenderungan Imam al-Bukhari ketika membuat Tarjamatul Bab di dalam Sahihnya, iaitu:

باب: المداراة مع النساء، وقول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: (إنما المرأة كالضلع).

Bab berlembut dengan wanita dan Sabda Nabi s.a.w.: Sebenarnya perempuan itu seperti tulang rusuk.

Dengan membuat tajuk begini Imam al-Bukhari tidaklah berpendapat bahawa Hawa itu dijadikan daripada tulang rusuk kiri Nabi Adam.

Begitu juga di dalam al-Adab al-Mufrad, Imam al-Bukhari mengemukakan riwayat:

إن المرأة ضلع , وإنك إن تريد أن تقيمها تكسرها

Sesungguhnya perempuan itu tulang rusuk. Jika kamu mahu untuk meluruskannya maka kamu akan mematahkannya. (al-Adab al-Mufrad, no: 747)

Apakah hadis ini menyatakan hakikat perempuan itu sebenarnya tulang rusuk? Tentu sekali tidak. Hadis ini merupakah satu bentuk tasybih atau perumpamaan yang mempunyai nilai balaghah atau retorik yang tinggi di mana perkataan yang menyatakan persamaan tidak digunakan begitu juga sudut keserupaan tidak disertakan. Ayat yang kedua boleh juga dikatakan sebagai bukti bahawa perkataan tulang rusuk tidak difahami secara harfiah.

Sokongan Kepada Penafsiran Ini

Penafsiran min bukan dengan makna punca atau asal-usul sesuatu adalah sesuai hadis berikut:

عن أبي قلابة، عن أنس رضي الله عنه: أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم كان في سفر، وكان غلام يحدو بهن يقال له أنجشة، فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: (رويدك يا أنجشة سوقك بالقوارير). قال أبو قلابة: يعني النساء.

Daripada Abu Qilabah daripada Anas bin Malik bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. berada dalam satu perjalanan. Ada seorang budak yang dikenali dengan Anjisyah menarik unta yang ditunggangi oleh wanita-wanita. Lalu Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: Wahai Anjisyah! Perlahankanlah kerana yang kamu tarik itu ialah botol-botol kaca. Perawi, Abu Qilabah, berkata: Maksudnya ialah wanita-wanita. (Hadis riwayat al-Bukhari no: 5857.)

Rasulullah s.a.w. menggambarkan wanita sebagai golongan yang lembut dari segi perwatakan dan cukup sensitif. Baginda menyebutkan wanita seperti botol-botol kaca yang mudah pecah jika tidak dijaga dan diberi perhatian.

Kesimpulan

Hadis ini perlu difahami secara balaghah iaitu berdasarkan retorik bahasa Arab. Rasulullah s.a.w. menyampaikan pesanan ini dalam bentuk tasybih (perumpamaan) supaya maksud pesanan difahami dengan lebih mendalam. Tegasnya, supaya pendengar lebih peka dan prihatin bukan memberi perhatian kepada makna harfiah. Rasulullah s.a.w. membuat perumpamaan wanita seperti tulang rusuk bukan bermaksud untuk merendahkan kedudukan mereka tetapi sebagai peringatan kepada kaum lelaki supaya memberi perhatian kepada mereka, melayani mereka dengan baik, mendidik dan menjaga hati mereka. Sama seperti lelaki, wanita sama-sama berperanan untuk menegakkan agama dan menguruskan hal ehwal kehidupan.

Dengan pemahaman yang betul tentang hadis-hadis ini maka tertolaklah anggapan bahawa wanita adalah dari kelas kedua kerana kononnya dijadikan daripada orang lelaki iaitu Adam!

Saying Goodbye to Al-Azhar University (sobsob*)

2008-10-19T19:36:00.009+08:00

It seems that I didn't update this little blog of mine since donkey years. Honestly, I don't know what has struck me till I can't spare some time to write in this world of blog writing. I'm not really so busy but I just can't understand why I did this. There are times in which you don't understand why you did this and that. Sometimes human behaviour is quite weird I guess. I'm not a professional in this so let us leave this to the specialist like maybe a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Right now, I'm done with everything that is related to a bachelor degree. Alhamdulillah, thank God for everything, for You are the only one who let everything happened. If not for You, I don't know what will happen to me. Alhamdulillah, thank You Allah once again. I'm done, done and done. Oh I feel like crying and dancing at the same time. At last I make it. I just can't believe it. One phase of my life has come to the end. Soon, I'm going to say goodbye to Al-Azhar University and Egypt. I'm all excited and sad at the same time. For all of my friends who has returned to their homeland, I understand what you guys were feeling when you stepped out of your houses and stepped in Cairo New Airport. Our life will never be the same again. Friends, I wish you all the best and good luck for your future undertakings. My prayer will always be with you. :)

Right now, I'm listening to a nice nasyeed, an arabic nasyeed. I guess I'm not much of a nasyeed person (it's ok if you want to think I'm not the 'alim alim' type for it's true). However, I think I would prefer to categorise myself in a group of people who can go with the flow. I'm not into nasyeed but at the same time I'm not much into other musics too. I'm very neutral. Nasyeed or whatever the music is are something which are not very essential in our life. Music is neither like the air nor water in which that you can die without these 2 elements. I just listen to whatever music that is nice to my ear and mood. If I'm in the mood for nasyeed, I'll listen to it, if I'm in the mood for sentimental songs I'll listen to it, if I'm in the mood for RnB, I'll go with the flow but to totally immerse myself in it and be a big fan of a particular group or band is something I don't think I would like to do and it's totally not me. I'm just a neutral person. Too much of something is not good for ourself, just be in the middle ok.

Oh yeah, and for those who think that I'm saying music is permissible in Islam, don't get yourself wrong. I'm not saying that. I'm contextualising my saying above with myself, not with the religion. To discuss the status of music in Islam is going to be a long discussion. I can't say this according to my point of view, I've to bring all evidences from the Quran and Sunnah and not forgetting the opinions and consensus of the ulama' to support my writing. I've read about this quite few times but I think to write an article about it I still don't have the courage. To talk about a matter that is related to the religion, you cannot discuss it blindly, you must be sure about a certain issue and you must support yourself with sayings from the Quran and Hadith, or else what you say cannot be used as a reference and is considered meager and unproductive. So, I think that's the reason why I don't have the courage to write about this matter as I'm not very good and well-off on this issue. For what you say will be judged by both Allah and human being. If what you say is totally contradicting with what Allah has stated then it will be a transgression to the divine law. We have to be really careful when writing and doing research. I feel it's such a shame plus sinful if there's anyone there ever think of contaminating it. The divine law is very perfect and complete for Allah knows what is best fo us.

Ok, I think I've gone to far. What a digression! I guess it's the result of majoring in Arabic Language and Literature for it's easy to find digression in classic Arabic Literature texts. I'm done with this, with Arabic Language and Literature and I'm so happy. What I dreamed of since I was a small girl has come true. I've always being in love with this language since I was ten years old. Since then, I always dreamed of becoming someone who is excellent in it. Thank you Allah for making it come true and possible for me to achieve. I love you Allah although I know this love and gratitude couldn't be expressed explicitly. This feeling for You is rather implicit.

Hmmm... Actually, I just want to comment on the nasyeed that i listened to just now. It's called Farshy Turab which means Dust is My Bed. Such a nice nasyeed. It's an arabic nasyeed and if you can understand its content I'm sure you can contemplate the meaning. It has a nice message about death. It has given me a sense of penitence. At times we need to give food for our soul by remembering about death. Every human being will face death, nobody can escape this. To listen to this song, you may find it at Youtube and just type Farshy Turab. You will find a list of this song. 'Enjoy' yourself.

2008-03-28T06:38:00.002+08:00

Aku mungkin tidak bijak mengatur kata mahupun bicara, aku juga mungkin tidak pandai mengolah bait-bait cinta, namun percayalah bahawa sesungguhnya hati ini amat menyayangi dan mencintai. Percayalah hati ini tidak pernah luput mengingati dan merindui walau ianya tidak pernah diungkap dengan manisnya bicara dan indahnya kata-kata. Ketahuilah mungkin dia yang kau anggap ikhlas dengan kata-kata indah, sebenarnya penuh dengan tipu daya. Dia yang kau anggap sangat mencintai sebenarnya tidak punya rasa melainkan dari manisnya bicara hingga memperdayakan dirimu. Ketahuilah aku manusia hina ini bukan hipokrit, namun hati ini memang benar-benar menyayangi dan mencintai kerana aku tahu antara kita sudah termaktub sebuah ikatan kasih sayang dan cinta. Dan aku tidak lebih dari menunaikan amanahku kepadamu kerana aku sememangnya diciptakan untuk amanah itu walau aku tidak pernah mengungkapkan sebarang bicara kata......

Jangan

2007-12-25T08:40:00.001+08:00

Jangan disesali peristiwa itu,
kerana di sebaliknya terselit 1001 hikmah.

Jangan ditangisi kehilangan itu,
kerana di situ pasti ada gantinya,
walaupun yang berganti itu tidak sama dengan yang hilang,
ia mungkin lebih baik dari yang hilang.

Jangan diratapi pemergian itu,
Mungkin di situ ada hikmahnya.

Jangan disesali kesempitan itu,
Kerana di sebaliknya terletak keluasan rahmat Ilahi.

Jangan ditangisi apa yang telah berlalu,
Kerana di sebaliknya terselit sinar hari esok.

Yang pasti, doa itu kunci utama seorang mukmin,
Yang pasti, percaya kepada yang Maha Esa,
Yang pasti, letakkanlah sepenuh hati kepadaNya,
Yang pasti, kasih sayangNya tidak pernah putus,
Kerana di situ pasti ada pertolonganNya.
Dia tidak pernah jemu mendengar rintihan hambaNya.
Dia tidak pernah benci kepada hambaNya,
Walaupun hambaNya itu selalu lalai dan leka…

Biarkanlah...

2007-12-25T08:39:00.001+08:00

Biarkanlah pemergian itu,
Biarkanlah kehilangan itu,
kerana ia sememangnya tidak kekal.

Biarkanlah segalanya berlalu,
Biarkanlah ia menjauh,
kerana di situ terselit seribu satu hikmah.

Yang paling penting,
kamu tahu dan yakin
Allah sentiasa ada bersamamu

Yang paling penting,
kamu berserah dan mintalah padaNya
kerana hanya itu pengubat duka lara sensara jiwa.

Yang hilang pastinya akan berganti,
Dan kemungkinan Allah kurniakanmu,
Yang lebih baik dari itu..

Isu Madrasah di Singapura

2007-12-25T07:53:00.002+08:00

Attn: This article was written at the point of time when the madrasah issue was a hot issue in Singapore. It was about 1 to 2 months ago.

Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.

Saya amat terpanggil untuk menulis tentang apa yang sedang hangat dibicarakan di Singapura walaupun sekarang ini saya bukan berada di Singapura. Saya amat amat teruja untuk membuat sedikit justifikasi tentang apa yang sebenarnya tersirat di sebalik pendidikan madrasah. Sekarang ini di Singapura, perkara yang sangat hangat diperkatakan ialah tentang JMS ataupun Sistem Madrasah Bersepadu. Saya adalah lepasan madrasah dan saya rasa saya dapat memahami apa sebenarnya yang terdapat di sebalik pendidikan madrasah itu sendiri. Bagi sesiapa yang mengikuti perkembangannya di Berita Harian, pasti anda mendapati terdapat berbagai-bagai komentar dan pandangan yang dilontarkan. Ada yang baik dan ada juga yang membuat saya benar-benar tersinggung. Saya ingin sekali menghantar pandangan ini di suratkhabar akan tetapi saya kurang mengikuti setiap komentar kerana beberapa masalah yang saya hadapi di negara yang sedang saya duduki sekarang ini.

Bagi saya secara peribadi, apa yang dilakukan sekrang ini belum tentu lagi akan menjadi sesuatu yang teramat berhasil kerana hala tuju utama madrasah adalah berbeza dari sekolah nasional. Sekolah nasional rata-rata mempunyai matlamat yang sama. Tak kiralah sekolah apa pun, Raffles Institution ke, Victoria School ke, East View Secondary School ke semuanya mempelajari matapelajaran yang sama dan mempunyai matlamat yang sama. Untuk melahirkan generasi yang dapat menyumbangkan tenaga kerja yang bersifat duniawi semata-mata. Matapelajaran agama memang sama sekali tidak ada diajar di sekolah nasional. Berbeza dengan kurikulum di madrasah, madrasah menyediakan kedua-dua bidang iaitu duniawi dan ukhrawi walaupun adakalanya sesuatu madrasah itu lebih cenderung kepada pendidikan ukhrawi tetapi matapelajaran seperti Bahasa Inggeris dan Matematiks tetap diajar walaupun kurang dari aspek penekanan akan tetapi ia tetap diajar. Di sini, dapat kita lihat bahawa pendidikan madrasah bukanlah pincang sepertimana yang sering diuar-uarkan.

Mengapakah persoalan seperti adakah pelajar madrasah mampu bersaing dengan pelajar dari sekolah nasional timbul dalam masyarakat kita? Dan mengapakah persoalan seperti pelajar madrasah mempunyai masadepan yang tidak menentu itu menjadi satu isu?

Pelajar madrasah mungkin kurang dari sudut kegiatan luar darjah apatahlagi kegiatan pasukan beruniform. Ia adalah disebabkan kurangnya infrasturuktur dan prasarana yang lengkap untuk memantapkan kegiatan tersebut dan atas beberapa alasan peribadi yang melibatkan masalah aurat, pergaulan dan beberapa perkara lain. Akan tetapi ia tidak bermakna yang pelajar madrasah tidak diterapkan sifat kepimpinan, berkeperibadian luhur serta sikap saling bantu membantu. Ia juga tidak bermakna yang pelajar madrasah tidak diajar sifat saling hormat menghormati antara kaum yang berlainan bangsa, agama dan budaya. Pelajar madrasah juga mampu untuk menjadi pemimpin. Madrasah ada mempunyai kurikulum luardarjahnya yang tersendiri. Pelajar madrasah juga diajar dan dididik sikap berdaya saing serta sikap kepimpinan. Tidak melibatkan diri dalam pasukan beruniform bukan bererti seseorang itu tidak mampu untuk menjadi pemimpin. Sifat kepimpinan ini mampu dipupuk dengan berbagai-bagai cara.

Persoalan seperti ini juga timbul, dapatkah golongan terbesar lulusan madrasah berdikari atau bekerja mencari nafkah untuk menampung diri dan keluarga? Adakah layak untuk kita mempersoalkan persoalan yang sedemikian ini? Berdasarkan pengalaman saya, saya mendapati yang pelajar madrasah mampu berdikari dan bekerja mencari nafkah untuk menampung diri dan keluarga. Saya belum pernah lagi mendapati ada pelajar madrasah yang meminta sedekah di tepi jalan kerana tidak mempunyai pekerjaan dan mempunyai masalah untuk mendapatkan pekerjaan. Soal berdikari dan bekerja mencari nafkah itu bukanlah satu masalah untuk pelajar madrasah semata-mata, akan tetapi ia juga patut dipersoalkan terhadap pelajar sekolah nasional. Mampu berdikari dan mencari nafkah itu sebenarnya berbalik kepada diri seseorang itu sendiri, bukan dari sekolah mana dia datang. Tidak salah untuk saya katakan di sini, ada ramai juga pelajar aliran sekolah nasional yang tidak mampu berdikari dan mempunyai masalah untuk mendapatkan pekerjaan. Mengapa persoalan ini tidak menjadi satu isu yang besar? Mengapa apabila ia berkait dengan madrasah ia menjadi satu isu yang teramat memeningkan kepala? Semua golongan masyarakat memang tidak dapat lari dari masalah persaingan, akan tetapi saya harap ia tidak patut digembar-gemburkan hanya kepada pelajar madrasah sahaja.
Soal rezeki itu tidak patut kita persoalkan. Pemberi rezeki ialah Allah, Dia yang berhak menentukan rezeki hamba-hambaNya. Andai seseorang itu rajin berusaha dan rajin mempertingkat dirinya dari semasa ke semasa, Allah itu maha adil. Dia akan memberi rezeki pada yang berhak. Andai seseorang itu malas berusaha, mana mungkin dia mampu berdikari dan menyara keluarganya. Sekolah dan lulusan apa bukan penentu masadepan juga rezeki seseorang.

Saya rasa, kalau hendak difikirkan, saya juga boleh mempersoalkan sesuatu, berapa ramai pelajar-pelajar aliran sekolah nasional yang berjaya dengan sebenar-benar kejayaan? Ada ramai juga di luar sana yang akhirnya setakat menjadi pekerja biasa sahaja, di mana pelajar madrasah juga mampu untuk menjawat jawatan sedemikian. Lainlah kalau semua pelajar aliran nasional mampu untuk menjadi doktor, jurutera, arkitek, menteri, para karyawan juga jutawan. Ia mungkin sesuatu yang kita perlu risaukan andai pelajar madrasah tidak mampu berdiri sama tegak dengan mereka.

Baru-baru ini Muis ada memperkenalkan SIES yang melibatkan kurikulum pendidikan madrasah di masjid-masjid di Singapura. Madrasah-madrasah ini diadakan pada setiap hujung minggu demi untuk menampung keperluan ukhrawi anak-anak yang belajar di sekolah nasional. Pasti ramai yang tertanya-tanya, apa pentingnya madrasah sepenuh masa sedangkan terdapat madrasah mingguan yang dapat memberikan pendidikan agama kepada masyarakat islam di Singapura. Di sini, perlu saya jelaskan, sesungguhnya apa yang dipelajari di madrasah mingguan itu tidak cukup untuk menampung tuntutan mendalami agama yang diminta oleh Islam. Ditambah pula dengan kurikulum di madrasah separuh masa ini adalah terlalu sedikit dibandingkan dengan madrasah sepenuh masa. Dapat juga saya tegaskan andai kita terlalu bergantung pada madrasah separuh masa dan madrasah sepenuh masa dihapuskan, siapakah yang akan menjadi pendidik kepada generasi yang menuntut di madrasah sepenuh masa ini? Siapa pula yang akan menjadi mufti kelak? Siapa pula yang akan menaungi jawatan-jawatan seperti Imam, Kadi, Pegawai Dakwah dan sebagainya yang ada kaitan dengan agama. Takkan pula jawatan-jawatan ini diberikan kepada lepasan NUS yang mengambil bidang perubatan mahupun sains politik? Adakah patut jawatan yang sebegini diberikan kepada lepasan politeknik yang mengambil jurusan kejuruteraan mekatronik? Pasti tidak logik bukan? Apabila sesuatu jawatan itu diserahkan kepada yang bukan ahlinya, lihatlah kehancuran dan kezaliman yang akan melanda kaum tersebut.

Saya adalah lepasan madrasah dan saya tahu buruk baik keadaan dalam sesebuah madrasah. Mungkin ada segelinir yang tidak berjaya tetapi cuba pula lihat segelintir lain yang berjaya. Fitrah manusia, di mana pun kita, pasti ada yang berjaya dan ada yang tidak. Madrasah atau sekolah nasional sama sahaja. Pokok pangkalnya, berbalik pada usaha serta kerajinan seseorang itu. Ada ramai pelajar lepasan madrasah yang mampu untuk melanjutkan pengajian mereka ke maktab rendah juga politeknik tempatan. Pelajar aliran madrasah juga mampu untuk menjejakkan kaki ke Universiti Nasional Singapura (NUS), Universiti Teknologi Nanyang (NTU) juga Institut Pengurusan Singapura (SIM). Saya mempunyai ramai kenalan lepasan madrasah yang menuntut di institusi-institusi di atas. Bagi lepasan madrasah yang melanjutkan pengajian ke Universiti Al-Azhar, Madinah atau apa sahaja universiti timur tengah dan universiti islam, ramai di antara mereka juga yang mampu untuk menjejakkan kaki ke maktab rendah atau politeknik selepas peperiksaan peringkat O, akan tetapi mereka yang memilih untuk menyambung pengajian dalam bidang-bidang pengajian Islam dan Bahasa Arab.

Bagi saya amatlah tidak adil untuk menghakimi kami berdasarkan pendidikan yang kami terima. Rezeki adalah ketentuan dari Allah dan Dia berhak menentukan apa yang sepatutnya. Yang mnjadi perkara pokok ialah usaha yang berterusan tanpa rasa putus asa. Wallahu ‘aalam.

Jodoh dan Takdir oleh Mohamad Abdul Kadir bin Sahak

2007-12-25T07:29:00.001+08:00

This article was taken from one of my favourite websites. Something which is very valuable and beneficial. May Allah guides us to His true path of iman and Islam. Wallahu 'aalam.

Jodoh dan Takdir

Written by Mohamad Abdul Kadir bin Sahak

Soalan :

Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullah Ustaz, saya ada soalan seperti di bawah:

1) Adakah jodoh kita telah ditaqdirkan? Maka kita hanya menerima sahaja siapa sahaja jodoh kita? Jika begitu adakah menjejaskan kita dengan "Aqidah hanya menerima taqdir"?

2) Begitu pula sebaliknya dengan orang yang tidak dapat menerima jodohnya adakah menjejaskan aqidahnya dengan "Aqidah menolak Taqdir?"

3)Adakah sahih dari Nabi saw yang menyuruh kita Ikhtiarkan jodoh? Bagaimana dengan perempuan? Adakah mereka disuruh Nabi ikhtiarkan jodoh suami mereka?

4)Apakah pendapat ulama' Saudi dan negara teluk lain seperti Abdul Aziz Baz yang negaranya agak terbatas pergerakan perempuan mereka? Bagaimana pula dengan keadaan sekarang serta pendapat ulama kontemporari mereka seperti Salman 'Awdah? Adakah selari dengan fatwa masa dulu atau dah berubah sekarang?

Jawapan :

1- Allah menciptakan setiap sesuatu dengan ketentuan-ketentuannya layak dengan sifat Allah swt yang maha mengetahui samaada perkara itu telah ataupun akan terjadi. Allah swt berfirman :

(الَّذِي لَهُ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَلَمْ يَتَّخِذْ وَلَدًا وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ شَرِيكٌ فِي الْمُلْكِ وَخَلَقَ كُلَّ شَيْءٍ فَقَدَّرَهُ تَقْدِيرًا)

Maksudnya : "Tuhan yang menguasai pemerintahan langit dan bumi dan yang tidak mempunyai anak, serta tidak mempunyai sebarang sekutu dalam pemerintahanNya dan Dialah yang menciptakan tiap-tiap sesuatu lalu menentukan keadaan makhluk-makhluk itu dengan ketentuan takdir yang sempurna." (al-Furqan : 2)

Termasuk ketentuan (takdir) tersebut ialah urusan jodoh setiap orang. Allah mengetahui dan menentukan sifulan adalah jodoh untuk sifulan. Semua perkara termasuk jodoh ini tidak tersembunyi dari pengetahuan Allah. Firman Allah swt :

( إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يَخْفَى عَلَيْهِ شَيْءٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلا فِي السَّمَاء )

Maksudnya : "Sesungguhnya Allah tidak tersembunyi dariNya sesuatupun samaada di bumi atau di langit." (Ali Imran : 5)

Namun persoalannya sekarang kita tidak mengetahui apakah takdir yang ditentukan oleh Allah swt kepada kita. Siapakah jodoh kita dan seumpamanya. Semua perkara takdir ini tersimpan dalam pengetahuan Allah swt sahaja.

Dalam menempuh kehidupan, Allah swt dan Nabi saw telah mengajar kita dalam bentuk yang terbaik termasuk dalam menerima jodoh. Allah menjadikan setiap takdir itu bersama dengan sebab musababnya. Maka setiap muslim perlu berusaha memperolehi yang baik dengan menempuh sebab-musabab kepada kebaikan seperti yang diajarkan oleh Nabi saw.

2- Ada perbezaan yang jelas antara jodoh dengan bakal jodoh. Tidak menerima bakal jodoh bukan bermakna menolak takdir. Tidak ada istilah menolak takdir setakat apa yang saya fahami. Tidak ada manusia yang mampu menyalahi takdirnya apatah lagi untuk menolaknya. Istilah menolak takdir ini wujud, mungkin berpunca dari pengaruh filem-filem Hindi terutamanya, demikian juga pengaruh dari filem-filem kantonis dan barat yang berlebih-lebihan dimomokkan kepada kita oleh media. Dalam filem-filem sebegini terdapat banyak unsur yang bahaya pada akidah umat Islam terutamanya dalam soal ketentuan (takdir) Allah swt.

Sebahagian filem-filem tersebut menunjukkan bagaimana takdir itu ditolak, dipersalahkan dan seumpamanya. Maka pengaruh ini sedikit sebanyak mempengaruhi pemikiran umat Islam yang mabuk menonton filem-filem dari orang-orang kafir tanpa berfikiran kritis yang bersesuaian dengan agama.

Maka perbuatan seseorang yang menolak bakal jodohnya kerana berdasarkan penilaiannya, orang tersebut tidak sesuai untuknya, tidaklah boleh dikira sebagai menolak jodoh. Bahkan penolakan itu adalah wajar dan mesti jika ia ditolak berdasarkan penilaian agama.

3- Yer sudah tentu Nabi saw mengajar umat Islam lelaki dan perempuan untuk mereka berusaha memilih jodoh mereka, bahkan ini adalah kemestian. Antaranya adalah hadith Nabi saw : تنكح المرأة لأربع : لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها ، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
maksudnya : " (kebiasaannya) Dikahwini wanita itu kerana empat perkara : Kerana hartanya, keturunannya, kecantikannya dan kerana agamanya, Maka pilihlah yang memiliki agama, dia akan menguntungkan kamu." (al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

Hadith ini merangkumi lelaki dan wanita. Wanita juga disuruh memilih bakal jodohnya yang berpegang teguh dengan agama. Inilah usaha untuk memperolehi kebaikan yang dituntut oleh ALlah dan rasul untuk kita mencarinya.

4- Semua ulama dahulu dan sekarang sepakat dalam urusan ketentuan ALlah swt. ia merupakan salah satu daripada rukum iman.

wallahu a'lam.

The Small Girl in Me

2007-05-01T04:09:00.001+08:00

Mak, abah, i miss you both a lot. I'm so homesick. I want to go back home. Mak, I want you. I want you to be by my side while I'm sitting for my examinations. You are just like my energy and spirit capsule. Mak, abah, when I was a small girl I never know I love both of you this much. I never know that one day I'm going to miss both of you like this. Mak, abah, I'll always be your pampered little girl although I'm a big girl now. A 22 year old lady now... Mak, abah, I'm sorry for all my wrongdoings when I was a small kid and teenager. I don't want to dissappoint both of you and I don't want hurt you. I don't want to make you sad. I'll always pray that you both will be placed in heaven with all the mukminin and mukminat. And may Allah bless you both with His best blessings and grant you His best reward in the hereafter.

Buat insan yang belum pernah hadir dalam jiwa ini...

2007-05-01T01:37:00.001+08:00

Kau tidak perlu menjadi
sepuitis seorang penyair,
Kerana bukanku pinta
kata-kata puitismu itu.

Kau tidak perlu menjadi
seindah warna-warni pelangi,
Kerana kasihmu itu
sememangnya indah tiada bandingannya.

Kau tidak perlu menjadi
sebijak ahli falsafah,
Kerana falsafah mampu diungkap dan diukir
Dengan lafaz sebuah cinta.

Kau tidak perlu menjadi
seorang insan yang sempurna,
Kerana kita sememangnya diciptakan
dengan ketidaksempurnaan itu

Apa yang aku pinta ialah jambangan kasihmu,
Apa yang aku pinta ialah tulus cintamu,
Apa yang aku pinta ialah ikhlas hatimu,
Apa yang aku pinta ialah kesucian rindumu.

Aku hanya mengharapkan
keteguhan kubu cintamu,
Yang mampu memimpin tanganku
hingga ke nafasku yang terakhir.

Aku hanya mengharapkan
kesucian dan ketulusan kasihmu,
Yang mampu menemaniku
dan melepaskanku dari penjara sepi.

Di sebalik dirimu itu,
Tersirat sebuah cinta yang tiada nilainya.

Di sebalik senyumanmu itu,
Terselindung kesucian kasihmu.

Dan di sebalik ketidaksempurnaan dirimu itu,
Tersembunyi diriku yang penuh dengan ketidaksempurnaan jua kehinaan.

Dan diriku ini jugalah yang memburu bayanganmu,
Kerana bayanganmu itu
seringkali hadir dalam jagaku,
Dan bayanganmu itu juga
seringkali ku lihat dalam mimpiku.

2007-04-29T07:16:00.000+08:00

Tak tahulah macam mana nak diungkap perasaan yang tersirat ni. Kalau boleh ditembak diri ni nak aje aku tembak. Isy, aku masih tahu lagi membezakan dosa dan pahala. Kesabaran jadi kunci utama dalam hidup ni, kalau tak memang seseorang tu akan lakukan sesuatu di luar kewarasannya. Hatiku sakit. Teramat sakit. Tak terucap dek kata. Tak terhurai dek seribu satu bahasa. Tak terungkap dek keindahan falsafah hidup. Apa perasaan kau andai kau disalahkan seratu peratus pada kesalahan yang bukan berasal daripada diri kau sendiri? Mesti geram kan? Mesti hati sakit sangat? Rasa nak marah kan? Tulah dia yang aku rasakan sekarang. Aku cuba mengalah. Mengalah tidak bererti kita kalah tapi ia lebih kepada menunjukkan erti kasih sayang. Namun yang buat aku lebih tertekan orang yang sebenarnya bersalah tu tak pernah mengaku kesalahan diri dia. Egonya dia. Dan yang lebih buat aku hampa ada hamba Allah lagi seorang ni pula menuding jari kepadaku walaupun aku cuba untuk jelaskan kepadanya. Memang buang masa aje ceritakan kepada sang pendengar yang sememangnya prejudis. Memang buang tenagaku yang berharga aje terangkan kepada sang manusia yang tidak pernah faham situasi sebenar. Aku tidak pernah salahkan dia pada kesalahan diri dia apabila dia cuba luahkan masalahnya padaku. Walaupun adakalanya aku rasakan tindakannya itu tak patut. Apa yang aku cuba lakukan aku susun kata-kataku dengan penuh baik supaya nasihatku tidak akan menyinggung perasaannya. Namun bila aku dilanda gelora dan ombak hidup, dia sedap-sedap aje cakap aku yang bersalah. Ada ke patut aku disalahkan seratus peratus pada sesuatu yang bukan berasal dari kesalahanku? Akhirnya aku juga yang mengaku kesalahan diriku.. Aku cuba terima hakikat. Aku letakkan kesalahan itu ke atas diriku. Biarlah aku yang mengalah dan biarlah hatiku yang sakit. Biarlah aku seorang aje yang rasa kesedihan tu, biarlah aku yang pikul kesakitan dan kelukaan itu. Aku lakukan ini kerana ingin menjaga persahabatan yang ada. Aku cuba letak tepi apa-apa yang tidak patut dan ingati kebaikan mereka. Aku ni kan mudah terpujuk. Hatiku bukannya keras macam batu. Agaknya akulah manusia yang mudah terpujuk dengan kebaikan orang lain. Mudah rasa belas dan kasihan walaupun hatiku retak seribu. Suka sangat fikir tentang orang lain tanpa memikirkan diri sendiri dan akhirnya aku juga yang merana dan tersiksa, dalam pepatah Inggerisnya ‘at last, I’m the one who get myself in trouble’. (Eh, dah cukup. Cuba cakap Melayu seratus peratus. Kata nak jadi pakar dalam 3 bahasa: Arab, Inggeris dan Melayu. ‘Expert’ tu pakar ke?). Oklah, berbalik pada luahan perasaanku. Aku bukan nak puji diri sendiri tapi aku benci diri sendiri sekarang ni. Tu sebab tadi aku kata kalau boleh ditembak diri ni, memang nak beli aje pistol ke senapang, lepas tu tembak diri sendiri. Baru puas hati! Aku takkan sakitkan hati sesiapa. Aku mampu jaga hati semua orang bila aku mati. Dan aku juga tidak perlu sengsara dan derita makan hati sendiri. Kalau mati aku mampu jaga hati orang lain dan jaga hati sendiri. Aku rasa puas hati hamba-hamba Allah ni semua. Dan yang derita aku juga. Entahlah.. Aku benar-benar tersepit. Ibarat ditelan mati mak, diluah mati bapak. Aku cuba untuk meletakkan kesalahan itu seratus peratus pada diriku. Cuma aku tak faham kenapa sekarang aku susah nak terima perkara begitu seratus peratus. Kalau dulu orang cakap aku salah, aku akan mengaku aje yang aku salah walaupun kadang-kadang aku tak salah. Aku ni seorang yang mudah ikut kehendak hati orang lain. Terlalu mengiyakan walaupun adakalanya hatiku tidak meredhainya. Terlalu nak jaga hati orang sampai hati sendiri tak terbela. Tapi takde orang yang nak jaga hatiku.. Seringkali nak sakitkan hati ni lagi ada. Jangan jadi macam aku ni. Tengoklah apa jadi dengan aku sekarang. Hatiku sakit tak terkata. Aku sedih tak terungkap. ‘This is the result of a prolonged suffering’. Eh.. Buat lagi aku ni. Ok, cakap Melayu aje. Mesti ada rasa nak memartabatkan bahasa Melayu. (I think my Malay is not so bad after all. I think I can survive all the 3 languages that are important in my life and who says that with our own mother tongue we can’t go far? The Japanese is one prominent example. Nothing subtle about it. Everyone knows it). Ok. Stop this digression. Back to my discussion. Ya Allah, Engkau berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk meneruskan hari-hari yang mendatang. Peperiksaan pun makin dekat dan aku masih terkapai-kapai lagi. Ya Allah, izinkan aku untuk menduduki peperiksaan kali ini dengan hati yang tenang dan mampu menggapai impianku.

The Dream

2007-04-29T07:12:00.003+08:00

23 April 2007

I started to have that dream again. I started to have that disturbance in my sleep again. I dream of that person quite often now but everything is so vague. I see that person in my dreams but I don’t know is that a good one or a bad one.

P/S: I wrote this on the 23rd of April but at that point of time I couldn't publish it as the net was having some kind of a dial-up problem, therefore I've to publish it when the entry is already outdated.

2007-04-14T07:44:00.000+08:00

I'm so sad. Just now i typed a long blog, but out of sudden my laptop was switched off by itself. I think the moment I pulled the laptop to make it nearer to me, the wire that connects the lappie to the current was also pulled out. I guess something prevented me from posting that blog and I don't know why. Allah knows best. It's all in His hand and His will. Luahan hatiku dalam Bahasa Melayu yang pertama pula. Sedihnya. Kejadian itu menambahkan lagi kesedihanku. Menambahkan kepiluan hatiku. Menambahkan keperitan dan kelukaan hati ini....

2007-04-10T02:54:00.000+08:00

I know I shouldn't say this but I just feel like dying. I'm all hopeless and helpless. I feel useless.

2007-04-04T01:20:00.000+08:00

Oh Allah, please let me go through all these pain in silence and patience. Please let me be among the strongest person of your servants. It's kiling me and sometimes I just feel like I don't want to continue living in this world anymore. I don't know why i say this but I'm so devastated and sad. Oh Allah, I need Your light and guidance.

2007-02-13T07:41:00.000+08:00

Life is still the same. I just feel like crying. I really feel like crying and giving up. I’m so lonely. I’m so miserable. Life is unfair. Why do I’ve been treated this way? I don’t feel like seeing the world and its content. I just feel like running away hiding in a cave. I don’t know how to express this feeling. I’m so disappointed. I’m sad. I want to cry. I’m lonely. Why do I have to face this? I’m speechless. I don’t know how to continue this…

2007-01-23T07:49:00.000+08:00

The time on my laptop shows its 12.30 am now. It’s 23 Jan already. Actually I’m so tired today and I really want to sleep. I can’t open my eyes that big now but I don’t know why I’m still here. Hmm… There’s something interesting that I want to write actually and I can’t wait till any other day. Something that cross my mind some time just now while I was thinking and wondering. Just now it was my last day of examination. I don’t know what to say about the paper, it’s quite bad though but I tried my best to give the best answer as I could. I just felt like crying while answering the questions. I was speechless and still I am. What I can do now is just pray for the best and hope for the best. Allah knows best. But at least I’m quite happy now that the examinations for the first semester have come to the end. Now I can relax myself and pamper myself with things I want to do. Can pamper myself with all the passions that have been waiting for me since a month ago I guess. Things that I’ve always tempted to do. School will reopen somewhere in the mid Feb so I’ve quite some time to indulge myself in these fun activities. No worries. It’s a healthy one.

Right after going home from school, I went straight to Fathallah supermarket to buy some food and after that went to Aziemah’s house just to kill my boredom and the disturbance that had been haunting my mind ever since I stepped out of the examination hall. At about 8+ I went home and guess what I did after that? Hmmm… I cleaned up the kitchen, I tidied the mess and scrubbed here and there. It’s the same thing I did last year after finishing my last paper for the first semester. It’s impromptu and coincidence. I didn’t decide to do such work when I finished my exams actually. Maybe it’s all due to my pressure from the exams so I tried to do something that could put my mind at ease. At last everything was a success. I’m happy with the condition of my kitchen now. It’s better than previous.

At about 12.00 then I got the chance to relax myself, I made myself hot chocolate and here I am typing and updating my blog. Hmmm… As I told you just now its 23 Jan already and tomorrow it’s going to be 24 Jan. I’ll be 22 then. I still have 1 more day to spend being a 21 year old lady. Need to treasure this last day of being 21 and need to cherish every second of it. I’m going to say goodbye to 21 years of age. I’m going to be a year older. Am I ready to be a 22 year old someone? I don’t know the answer. Whether I’m ready or not the time will still come. I couldn’t run away from the reality. I couldn’t run away from time. I’m so scared.. The time is chasing me and it’s not me who’s chasing the time. Time flies. It’s almost the end of the world. Oh My God! I’m so scared. Frankly speaking, I enjoy being a 21 year old. It’s the most fun phase in my life compared to life as a child and teenager. Being a child is always fun but it’s a different story. You tend to take life slowly and easily as a kid. Things are never serious being a child. Being teenager was another phase in life that every adult has to go through but I always consider that teen hood is such a painful moment to go through. It’s full of thick and thorns and I hate being a teenager. I’ve always wanted to be a teenager when I was a child but when I was a teenager I’ve always wanted to be an adult but when the time comes, how I wish I could be a teenager and cherish every moment of it and make every second of it a memorable one. Hmmm… But everything is a history now. I’m going to be 22 soon. Here I am trying to feel my last moment of being a 21 year old and do some soul reflection on what had I done as a 21 year old. I realize I’ve learnt so many things being an adult. It really taught me lessons of life. It taught me the meaning of independence as I spent most of my 21 years of age here in Egypt. I only spent 3 months being a 21 year old in S’pore. How much I wish I could spend every beautiful moment with my family but what can I do. I’ve something which is much more important to do than staying in S’pore. I’m here to seek for knowledge and wisdom. I’ve an important duty here; duty as a knowledge seeker. It’s an eye opener. I’ve always miss my family. I’m quite homesick sometimes but I know I can be that strong. If I can be strong with whatever turbulence or trials and tribulations that I’ve to face, then why can’t I be strong when it comes to problems like homesick. Absence makes the heart grew fonder.

Whatever it is, I still have 1 more day to spend being a 21 year old girl. I’m going to cherish every second of it and enjoy myself with activities that could make me happy and smile plus some soul reflection that hopefully could help me improve myself and consolidate my position as a mediocre human being to a better human race. Enough of worrying about the examinations because it could spoil my mood and I really feel like crying all day and night long if I were to think about it. What I can do now is just pray to Him for the best. Everything is in His hand. I really want to pass and admitted to the fourth year. I don’t want to stay any longer in this third year. Enough of being someone who’s named as ‘budak i’adah’. Oh Allah, please let me be one of the excellent achievers in this examination and please let me be with those who are chosen to be admitted to the fourth year. Lastly I would like to say that I want to spend the next phase of my life beautifully and wonderfully so that I can make it such a memorable one that’s worth remembering. :) 22 years of age! Here I come! Goodbye 21 years… :( I cherish every moment spent being you and I hope to see you in heaven…

2007-01-18T05:57:00.000+08:00

Loneliness is killing me. Sadness is biting me. Feelings are hard to explain. Everything remains unspoken. I’m crying inside. I’m shouting inside. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong in this life to deserve this? I’ve never really express my feelings here. What I feel in this life. My entries are just normal daily routine activities. I never want to type about myself here. And now here I am, all prepared in transforming this blog into something that I could benefit as a field to express my thoughts and feelings. I know dear bloggy, I once promised you that I wanted to express myself here but I failed to do so. It’s not that I cheat on you. It’s just that I want all these sufferings remain unspoken and unwritten inside. I want it to be something that only I know it and of course Allah. He knows everything about His servant. Am I being too secretive? Or too egoist? I don’t think I’m being egoist. It’s just that it’s better to write about something neutral which doesn’t involve any serious matters in life. I don’t want you to know about it. Not only you, but everyone in this world. Now here I am opening up my own ‘pandora box’. I know I don’t have to do so if I don’t want to but I don’t know why do I choose to do so. Dearie, it’s nothing so serious. Even if I tell you, you won’t be understanding what I’m trying to tell you. Only I myself who will understand it. Only I myself who knows the secret behind it.

Sometimes how I wish I could fly freely like the bird. Sometimes I wish I could be the beautiful butterfly which flies from one flower to another indulging myself in the beauty of it. How I wish I could be the rainbow which is always colourful and brightens up the sky after rainy days. How I wish I were the stars which light up the sky every night.. But I know I’m just a normal human being. I’m just a wayfarer traveling on the dessert. Feeling all thirsty. Feeling very sad and lonely. Life is way too difficult to describe. Life is way too complicated to express in words. Only lovers who are deeply in love will think that life is full of colours and beauties. Don’t they realize that life is full of lies? It’s full of hypocrisy. It’s full of pain. It’s full of sufferings. And why do I have to face all these pains alone by myself? No one to accompany me. No one to comfort me when I need them. No one to whisper words of wisdom to my ears and tell me that I’m not alone. No one to lend me her shoulder to cry on. Why do I have to suffer alone? Where is everyone? Are there still human race in this world? Or they are facing extinction like the endangered animals do?

This is what I can say as the nature of life. Human beings are the most helpless creature on this earth. Homo sapiens are being very useless to their own species. They violate their own rights. They don’t deserve to be living in this world. That’s why the angel Gabriel asked Allah why He wanted to create human beings when He knows that human will create turbulence on this earth and will destroy its beauty. Allah knows best why He creates us. :(

Albeit being sad and lonely, I know I still have to continue with this journey of life. I still have to carry on with these steps walking towards the peek of the highest mountain. I’m still waiting for its light which will drive me there. Waiting and waiting. Even if I have to walk another thousand miles, I know I still have to continue with my journey till I reach my last destination. I know I’m not prepared for that last destination. I’m still a mediocre servant of Allah. Oh Allah, please let me be one of those pious, faithful, humble, chaste servant of Yours. I don’t want to neglect my duty to You. I want to be see You in best condition, in my best iman and islam.

One of My Insomnia Nights

2007-01-16T08:23:00.002+08:00

Haiiizzz.. Inilah yang dinamakan kehidupan.. Dah nak dekat pukul 2 pagi tapi aku masih tak ngantuk lagi. Aku nak belajar sebenarnya tapi hari ni aku hafal-hafal, susah betul dia nak masuk. Tak taulah kenapa. Susahnya melebihi segalanya. Aku paksa juga suruh dia masuk. At least masuklah juga tapi apa yang aku target tak dicapai. Rasa nak nangis pun ada. Mata ni pula sekarang tak ngantuk. Aku dah plan kalau tak boleh nak masuk juga, tidur aje jawabnya & bangun esok lepas subuh sambung hafal tapi mata ni pun masih segar bugar aje. Macam-macam yang ada kat kepala ni. Yang tak patut ada pun bole timbul. Isyy… Time exam2 gini diri ni buat hal. Tu yang kebuntuan tu. Aku hari ni macam cacing kepanasan. Duduk salah. Baring salah. Berdiri pun salah. Macam-macam benda datang. Kaki aku yang berstokin tebal ni gatal-gatallah. Stokin tu bukan aku buat jalan-jalan pun. Setakat pakai untuk tidur & bersantai-santai kat bilik je (ye ke bersantai-santai?). Takkanlah sekejap dah kotor. Hmmm… Tak taulah susah nak cakap. Hidung aku yang sinus tak stop-stop ni pun nak gatal juga. Aku kasi je minyak kapak untuk kaki & vicks untuk hidung. Sedap juga. Muka aku yang asyik tumbuh pimple ni pun gatal. Ni lagi satu yang aku stress kan. Muka aku semenjak dua menjak ni asyik keluar jerawat je. Lepas satu, satu yang keluar. Bingit betul bila tengok cermin nampak jerawat. Mencacatkan wajahku yang cantik lagi jambu lagi putih ni aje. Hahahahahaha… Jgn jeles ye. Gatal-gatal ni semua berlaku time aku tengah menghafal pula tu. Dahlah fikiran macam-macam. Badan pun nak macam-macam. Sabar aje. Tak boleh nak marah. Bila da rimas dengan keadaan aku pun bangunlah pegi buat air susu. Kononnya nak kasi tidolah tu. Warm milk can make us sleep better.. (Eh kan azam nak cakap melayu seratus peratus?). Lampu dapur tu pula mati lagi. Aik, pelik sungguh. Dua hari lepas aku baru beli bulb baru & minta baba rumah ni tukarkan. Nak buat sendiri tak pandai & tak sampai. Faham-faham jelah aku ni cute sangat. Lampu tu pula time exam ni juga dia nak buat hal.. Dah ditukar nak buat hal lagi. Buat hal pula time aku tengah expired. Aduh… Tak terkata apa bila lampu tu mati. Meletup aku rasa. Aku pun dah terlanjur tak boleh tidur buat je air. Nak tunggu lampu sampai esok pagilah jawabnya. Dahlah tak boleh nak belajar ni. Azam dan semangat nak belajar aku sungguh menebal di sanubari (Wah wah puti, cantiknye bahasa, an improvement! Keep it up! Eh puji diri sendiri nampak!). Banyak benda yang nak kena hafal. Panjang-panjang pula tu. Ya Allah berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk meneruskan langkahku. Buku adab Pupa pun tak baca banyak lagi. Esok dah nak kena ajar cik kak tu. Hmmmm… Takpe sabar puti. Jgn stress kan diri nanti lagi semua benda tak boleh buat. (I know I’m miss clumsy-panicky, minah kanchong bak kata wan).

Sesungguhnya aku tak tau apa yang menghantui aku pada hari ini. Lusuh aje aku sehari suntuk ni. Kusut masai macam tak terurus. Padahal hari ni aku jumpa air pagi-pagi tadi, meaning hari mandi akulah tu (almaklum ajelah musim sejuk ni mandi cuma dua atau tiga hari sekali). Pagi-pagi lepas mandi je aku rasa segar sikit, lepas zuhur je aku mula lusuh. Terus bila lepas makan lunch je aku jadi kusut sampailah sekarang. Sejak pagi tadi aku tak tau apa yang bersarang dalam benakku ini. Macam-macam cerita ada. Fikiran ni nak fikir yang bukan-bukan. Tak bole nampak aku happy sikit. Tak bole nampak aku nak hafal happy-happy. Ada je nak mengacau. Eh dengan tiba-tiba aku rasa ngantuklah. Oklah, sampai di sini aje dulu ye… Saya mahu tidur… Sweet dreams…

2007-01-09T07:27:00.000+08:00

At last! I finished 1 exam paper and its adab andalusi. I don’t know what to say about this paper but I think it went quite well. At least I can answer most of the questions. Alhamdulillah! And I really hope I can pass it with flying colours. Another 2 more papers to go and its all will be literature subjects. Hahaha… Even the research methodology that will be my next paper is rhetoric research methodology (qa’ah bahas balaghi). The moment I finish with my exams, I’ll be having literature fever! I’m going to be full of literature digestion but don’t know this whether food will become vitamins and supplements in my body or become waste. I hope I can benefit from what I learn. Who says that we dun need literature in this modern hi-tech world? Who says we dun need to learn literature and studying it is such a waste of time? Language and literature can never be separated. Forever and ever. Language and literature are just like faithful lovers; they go everywhere together and can never survive without the other. Whoa! I realize I have already felt in love with adab like I do with nahu and saraf. Alhamdulillah! Thanks to Allah for He has grant me this love. I’m not very literary as Aziemah and Nadia in literature and not forgetting Irma but she’s always better at Malay literature I think. Hahaha… I always joke with her that she should change her course instead of taking Arabic language she should take Malay language. I’m very left brained, I simply love numbers and formulas but I guess I can go well learning literature but not as well-off at it as they do. Aziemah is very artistic while I dun have any sense of art. And what I can see from Nadia is that she can understand Arabic poems quite well. Both Aziemah and Nadia always share their passion in poems together. They love alfu lailah wa lailah (1001 nights) so much and one went to bibliotheca alexandrina (Alex library) together just to read the English translation of this tale.

Its 10.50 pm already and I can’t sleep despite being so tired from the exam and non-stop revision yesterday. It’s not that I did a last minute studying for this subject but I’ve been working hard on the memorizing of the facts. I memorized some facts earlier but I need to recap it at the last minute as I tend to forget some of the important points. Actually I was waiting for someone on skype but since I’m late he logged off already or went to bed. I told him I’ll be logging on after maghrib but since I got something on after maghrib I couldn’t log on and here I am still waiting for him while updating my blog. Don’t get yourself wrong! He’s not my boyfriend but we are just close at heart. :p Let Allah lead my way in finding my soul mate and I really hope what I have now will end up as what I want. I guess now is not the time for me to get myself involve in any relationship. Let the relationship-to-be a forever and halal one. A pure decent relationship between two hearts that are going to spent their lifetime together. That’s what I want now. No boy-gal-relationship as this will only lead to further sins and heartbreak. Men are very unpredictable I reckon as some may not be very understanding if we want to have such a pure decent relationship. No touching and heavy intimating involve. I better go now I think as I want to make myself a hot milo before my lights are off. I hope I can sleep well tonight and dream the nicest dream that I never had before.

P/S: Was supposed to be posted on 8 Jan 07, at around 11 pm but due to poor connection there's a delay in posting this entry.

2007-01-04T05:47:00.000+08:00

Masa sudah menunjukkan pukul 11.47 malam. I'm very tired but i'm not yet sleepy. Tired from memoring andalus and qa'ah bahas. Now my brain is too exhausted to receive the information anymore, my neck hurts a lot but unfortunately I can't sleep. (Oppsss... Puti, kata nak tulis dalam bahasa Melayu sepenuhnya?) Ok.. Sorry. I try to write in a very fluent Malay Language k. Pardon me if my Malay is bad. I'm more comfortable with English and Arabic Language. The influence of this two languages are very strong on me but when it comes to conversation, alhamdulillah i don't have any troubles in Malay. When it comes to written languages I think I'm better at English and Arabic. Maybe my English is not sooooo excellent but if I were to compare my Malay and Eng, people who are good in written Malay will definitely laugh reading it. This embarrassing feeling has developed since I studied at Kisdar. M'sians' Malay Language is damn good. I feel so 'paisey' with my Malay. Some of my friends did correct my usage of Malay Language. I wonder how could my O level Malay Language is better than my English but thanks Allah I pass all the three languages. Its all Your blessings on me, dear Allah.

Oklah, lagi empat hari aku akan menduduki peperiksaan pertengahan tahun. Rasa sungguh takut dan gementar. Maklumlah aku ni i'adah. Kalau boleh aku tidak mahu pisang berbuah dua kali. Aku nak lulus cemerlang dan naik ke tahun empat. Seumur hidupku, inilah kali pertama aku gagal dan perlu mengulang. Hidup kan tak selalunya indah. Langit pun tak selalunya cerah. Hidup kan ibarat roda, kadang dia atas, kadang di bawah. Lagipun bukan aku seorang yang i'adah. Semua coursemate aku senasib. Dah takde rezeki namanya. Lagipun course aku yang paling susah kat Al-Azhar ni. Takpelah kadangkala memang kita patut rasa kegagalan. Gagal sekali bukan bererti gagal selamanya. Kita semua pun Hamba Allah. Hamba Allah memang patut diuji. Tak lengkap iman kita sebagai hamba kalau tidak diuji. Keimanan kita kepada Allah hanya boleh dinilai apabila kita diuji. Ada manusia yang hanya bersyukur kepada Allah apabila senang sahaja kerana bagi dia Allah menyayanginya dan apabila ditimpa musibah atau diuji sedikit mulalah nak marah-marah. Mulalah nak merungut-rungut. Ada manusia yang sampai mempersalahkan Tuhan. Katanya mana boleh Tuhan berikan kesusahan itu kepadanya. Zalimlah Tuhan. Na'uzabillahi min zalik. Ada ke salah Tuhan? Ada ke marah-marah? Sedarlah bahawa kita ni semua makhluk Allah. Kita semua milikNya. Dia berkuasa ke atas diri kita setiap masa. Jadi Dia berhak untuk lakukan apa sahaja kepada kita kerana kita ni hambaNya. Kita kepunyaanNya yang mutlak. Kalau kita pun, suka hati kitalah nak buat apa dengan barang kepunyaan kita kan? Kalau kita ada kereta, suka hati kitalah nak 'modify' ke nak tukar warna ke nak tukar tayar ke hatta kalau nak calarkan kereta tu pun takde siapa boleh larang, itu hak milik kita. Jadi kenapa mesti kita pertikaikan ujian yang Allah beri kepada kita. Ingatlah bahawa ujian itu tanda kasih sayang Dia kepada kita, tanda Dia ingat kepada kita. Kalau Dia sentiasa berikan kita kesenangan dan kemudahan, takut-takut nikmat itu melalaikan kita dari mengingatiNya. Lumrah alam, apabila terlalu sibuk dengan nikmat dan kecantikan dunia, manusia akan lupa pada Penciptanya. Musibah bukan terletak pada ujian dan kesusahan sahaja bahkan nikmat adalah musibah yang paling dahsyat sekali kerana manusia yang tenggelam dalam kecantikan dunia sering lalai dan leka. Tak kurang juga yang ingat Allah hanya apabila dia susah sahaja, tapi bila Allah dah berikan kesenangan dia lupa pada Penciptanya. Na'uzubillah. Ya Allah, tetapkanlah keimananku kepadaMu setiap masa tidak kiralah samaada waktu aku senang mahupun susah kerana aku tahu aku adalah milikMu sepenuhnya.

Sedarilah bahawa ujian dan kesusahan kita ni sebenarnya takde apa jika nak dibandingkan dengan para anbiya'. Hebat sekali ujian para kekasih Allah ni semua. Nabi junjungan kita Muhammad sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam sangat hebat diuji. Menjadi yatim sejak kecil lagi. Dakwah baginda tidak diterima oleh kaumnya dan macam-macam lagi. Lihatlah juga para ulul 'azmi yang lain. Nabi Ayub sebagai contoh kesabaran yang tinggi, keimanan kepada Allah yang tidak pernah luntur walau sedikit pun. Diuji dengan penyakit tetapi baginda tetap beriman dan percaya kepada pertolongan dan kasih sayang Allah. Para kekasih Allah ini semua sentiasa meletakkan Allah di tangga yang paling teratas sekali. Mereka tidak pernah kecewa kerana mereka sentiasa percaya bahawa pertolongan dan kasih sayang Allah sentiasa ada, tidak pernah putus. Mereka sentiasa mengharapkan Allah. Tidak terlalu mengharapkan manusia. Percayalah apabila kita meletakkan sepenuh pengharapan kepada Allah, yang susah akan terasa senang jua akhirnya. Yang mengecewakan akan berubah menjadi yang membahagiakan. Yang menyedihkan akan menjadi yang menggembirakan. Sentiasa percaya ada hikmah di sebalik ujian itu dan yang pasti ada kesan yang positif di sebalik kenapa kita diuji.

2007-01-01T05:48:00.001+08:00

It’s the last day of 2006 which means I’m going 2 meet 2007 in a few more hours. It’s 1st Jan 2007 already in spore. Spore is 6 hours earlier than Egypt. Just now it’s eid adha 4 those who are in S’pore. We here in Egypt celebrated it yesterday. Something that I’m going to tell u later. Can’t type about it yesterday because I was too tired when I came home. I came home at 9.30 pm yesterday. Nothing much happen today. Another normal day. I just mingle with books n my lappie. Today is such a bad day since I opened up my adab ‘abbasi book but can’t concentrate much. I tried to memorise my adab andalus n it’s better but still I feel like crying inside. Something is bothering me. I tried to contact this friend of mine at Singapore but I don’t know why he’s so quiet today. The person is a he but nothing special is going on between us ok. He's a friend I know from my volunteer work that I do back there in Singapore. Maybe he’s busy with eid and the sacrifice activity at As-Syafaah. I think so. I don't need to know much about him I guess. We aren’t sweethearts attached together inseparable. As I told you before so the conclusion is that he’s not even my boyfriend. We are just close friend so I’ve no right to know further.

What’s bothering me is just something that I shouldn’t worry alone I guess. My housemates should share this worry with me but I don’t know whether they care or not. F wouldn’t care much I guess since she’s going back to S’pore soon and definitely wouldn’t be carrying this burden on her shoulder. She’s leaving it to us. M and I. It’s all about this new house of mine. I never thought tat things are going to be this complicated. I really can’t be paying LE 300 per month if F goes back to S’pore. That’s a really big sum of money. It cost me a fortune. With LE 300 I can get a house. This problem is bothering me. We want to ask mama nurah to give us a discount so that we still pay LE 200 each per month. From LE 600 for the three of us to LE 400 for the two of us. If it’s still LE 600 then each of us has to pay LE 300 which I really can’t afford. Today, I plan that all 3 of us go to her house but unfortunately when the time comes F is not around so it seems like we have to go tomorrow instead. Oh Allah! Please let me go thru this with patience and please grant me Your help n idea so that I can solve this problem with peace. I can’t concentrate on my books and here I am typing this bloggy and wasting my time on the internet and laptop. These are the things which I should leave behind when it’s near to xms. Arghhhhh.. I know.. I know.. I left only 1 week to finish up my revision until the first paper comes. Ok.. ok.. I’ll do it later. It’s not that I don’t want to do it but I need something for a while to keep my mind at ease. Should know that I’m not the kind of person who’ll neglect my studies. Study always comes first for me.

P/S: I'm supposed to send this a few hours ago.

2007-01-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm… Whoa! Its been such a long time since I last posted my entry. Again! The lagging network of mine. Mcm2 da terjadi. The last 1 I sent I was in S'pore and now I'm back in Egypt. School dah start, raya dah habis, dah nak masuk raya haji pun. School bkn da start je, da nk mid yr xm pun. I told u already mcm2 kejadian da terjadi. Mcm2 yg da dilalui. Life goes on and has its own story. Cuma yg punya diri ni aje tk ter'story'. Cuma yg punya diri ni aje tak terluah apa2 yg patut diluahkan. Entahlah tak tau knapa. Tak tau bagaimana.. Banyak yg boleh diluahkan. Banyak yg boleh diceritakan. Cuma i'm just not the type. I have troubles in expressing my feelings. I have prolems in expressing myself. Asyik simpan je, in the end stress sendiri. I end up being like a zombie. A human being wif no feeling inside. Bkn no feeling Cuma feeling ni da kebal. Da biasa dgn jerih payah ujian kehidupan. Kadang-kadang da tak bole nak nangis. Marah memang tak pernah boleh. Hanya sabar jadi kunci segala keperitan. Hanya doa jadi senjata. Bukankah doa itu senjata orang mukmin? Syukur kepada Allah kerana Dia sentiasa pelihara diri ini dlm iman dan islam. Kalau tak, tak taulah mcm mana. Tak taulah apa nk jadi.

P/S: This entry is supposed to be sent on the 27th Dec 2006, but after i typed it, my internet connection had encountered a problem so i sent it today as a replacement for what had happened.

2006-09-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. Wat a life! Hehehe.. Nilah yang dinamakan kehidupan. Nilah dia activity musim cuti. Vacation pun bkn vacation yang boleh relax and goyang kaki. Alangkah bestnya kalau duduk diam-diam duit turun dari langit atau ada orang yang murah hati nak sponsor. Hohoho.. Tapi tak best juga duduk goyang kaki ni. Sungguh tk biasa beta dengan rehat-rehat yang begitu. Aduhai mendaknya kepala dan jiwa. Da biasa hidup bz dengan 1001 mcm activity. So at last keje. My parents tu cakap tak payahlah keje, kan cuti, just rest at home and enjoy the vacation. Hmmm.. Kelakar ke? Mana nak dapat duit mak, abah kalau kita tak keje? Bila dah besar-besar ni malu nak minta duit dengan parents and furthermore i know both of you are not happy with the fact that i ask you 4 money. Hehehe.. Adult ni belanja besar. Kalau dulu-dulu time zaman kanak-kanak memang tak pandai belanja. Masih baik-baiklah katakan.. Kalau zaman remaja pula belanja sikit. Kita ni budak baik.. Kwang3x :p lagipun boleh save duit daily allowance. Lagipun time tu nak beli apalah sangat. Sekarang ni dah pandai sikit nak shop. Hehehe.. So kenalah usaha sendiri. Kalau kita nak minta duit, malu dgn mak & abah. Seganlah nak minta selalu. Kita takutlah nnt dia org marah. Tak marah pun kita sendiri rasa tak sedap. I'm not a small kid anymore. Takkanlah nak pakai savings tu. Nanti mak & abah check pun dia orang marah. Lagipun it's for the future use. We never know what's going to happen in the future. Mak & abah have a point there. I don't blame them. So at last buatlah apa-apa keje yang patut..

Now, keje kat ICC 1 (Inflight Catering Centre) as kitchen helper da berhenti. Now da Ramadan. Kena ajar my angels but rascals in the morning so cannot work in the morning. Available from 11 am onwards. ICC work time is from 8 am-4 pm. After quitting from ICC kita pun cari keje lain other than ajar tuition and relief teacher at Al-Istighfar and RC (Pertapis). I went for an interview at MEVM (Muhammadiyah Events Management) and i got the job since they need workers for their Ramadan project. The time is quite nice, from 5-10 pm. My first day at work was few days before Ramadan. Less than a week if im not mistaken. Mula-mula tu kita ingat buat clerical job. Kita pun ok with it BUT it turn up to be a telemarketeer! Something wic im avoiding! I had enough experience at Hijrah.Com I guess. Im not bubbly and talkative. Im quiet, shy and introvert. I really hate talking to people. Lagi-lagi kena on the phone. I dislike scolding people, i hardly get mad & i hate it wen people scold me on the phone. That's wat Im scared of. So i immediately quit the job. How could you enjoy the job that you are doing if you are simply not into it? I jadilah full time freelancer. Tutoring and relief teacher. Then I dapat pula keje at Sakan Al-Jauhar. Work time from 6 pm-11 pm. I got this job on the 5th of Ramadan. They also need workers for their Ramadan project. I went for the interview and the job is project consultant. I have to meet their clients and talk about their hajj programme. I was speechless. I need to talk! Face clients! n its face to face! I told you that i simply can't talk and meet people. Arghhh.. I feel like running away, I feel like hiding! They asked me to come for the training and guess wat? I dun accept the job. I dun have the confidence to face those clients. So now I end up being a full-time freelancer. Lagipun I da tinggal 1 month je kat S'pore ni. Now I da kena marathon habiskan tuition sessions with all my beloved angels. N actually i pun ada home-based job, so now nak kena habiskan before raya. Tgh marathon this home-based job juga.. Waduh! Capek banget! 7 days a week full although its freelancing and home-based. Once in a while kalau Al-Istighfar or Kak Zura (RC-Pertapis) call 4 relief barulah pegi.

Hmm.. Tadi fiza ada cal suruh tanya at Madrasah Al-Arabiah 4 relief juga cos now they are short of ukhrawi teachers. Mcm nak try tapi tak taulah. Honestly, teaching is not my line. Im not into teaching but tutoring is fine with me. It has to deal with people and im not good at it. When I graduate later, I seriously dun wan to be a full-time teacher. I can't do this. I'm not good at facing people. I'm into something which many people dislike. I like doing researches. I enjoy jobs that you need to think but no need to talk and face people. I love paperworks. I know this is funny and I sound crazy but this is what I am. Allah maha adil. Dia ciptakan manusia berbeza-beza. :) kalau semua manusia sama then life will be so boring. Semua yang Allah jadikan sangat sempurna. Allah maha bijaksana. If everyone likes teaching, kesian para cikgu-cikgu. Tak bole cari makan! If semua like jobs mcm I, kesian pula orang mcm I. Tak bole cari makan! Hehehe..

Apa-apa pun keje yang kita buat, apa-apa pun bidang yang kita minat, yang penting ialah pekerjaan itu halal. Yang penting mesti bersyukur kerana apabila kita bersyukur, Allah akan kasi lebih dari yang ada. Dan apabila berkat, yang sikit pun akan terasa banyak.

Oh ye! Nak share sumtin lagi. Its an experience time cuti ni juga. A few days before Ramadan, mak, cik lela and I went to TKC, jalan-jalanlah konon tu. Hehehe.. Survey baju raya kot. We went in to First Lady. Then suddenly cik lela suggest, why not i try to apply a job at First Lady. I was not so pleased with the idea. Entahlah kenapa. Although muka i ni muka orang bazaar Geylang (pernah berkhidmat di bazaar selama 4 thn. Hehehe...) tapi tak pernah terlintas di fikiran i ni nak apply keje kat situ. Dari dulu lagi i macam ada a bad feeling about that shop. I dunno why. At last i agreed since cik lela bersungguh-sungguh nak tanyakan. I pun isi form then the manageress talked to me about the nature of the job and watsoever. At last I asked her, if I were to work here can i perform my prayers? Then to my surprise, she told me, that's a big problem. They dun have a place 4 prayer and they dun allow their workers to go out during working hours. N there wun be enuf time 4 to perform the prayers. She must be out of her mind! All these while i worked at bazaar i can perform my prayers. N ICC tu pun ada tmpt utk solat. First Lady is a Muslim company but doesn't act like one. Waduh! Sedih sungguh gue mendengarnya.. Takpelah, tk dpt keje kat situ lagi baik dari melanggar perintah Allah. She told me tt she'll cal but til today there's no reply. Im glad cos i've been praying that i din get the job. Takpelah, bila kita tinggalkan sesuatu perkara yang membuatkan kita terjerumus kepada maksiat kepada Allah, Allah akan balas dengan yang lebih baik. Always have faith in Him. Always believe in Him. :)

Cuti 3 bln ni cukup utk mengajar mcm2 experience keje & cari keje. Mcm2 experience yang klakar ada. Mcm2 experience sedih ada. Yang penting, percaya dan yakin kepada Allah. Di situ terletak pertolonganNya. :)

2006-09-15T10:49:00.000+08:00

Recently i just read this book 'My Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult. It's a very good book. I went all teary-eyed while reading it and I think it's not me alone who cried. All girls who read it cried too (Unless if the girl has a metal heart with a wood feeling). Hope I can buy 1 of Jodi's book before going to Egypt. It's damn good and I think she used a good English usage. I'm not too sure. To all English Language linguist, forgive me i I'm wrong. I'm specialised in Arabic Language, neither English nor Malay but I'm just putting my two cents worth. :p Now i'm proceeding to a new book. It's an old book by Josephine Cox.

2006-09-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

Hehehe.. It's still the same car only from a different angle. Abah took these pics for me. We just went home from sending zul to school. The reason why i wanted to send him was just because i wanted to drive this car for the last time. Hahaha.. Actually it was supposed to be yesterday; the last day driving it but since i couldn't fetch latif from school due to the MUIS thingy (arghhhh... it's raining cats and dogs when i came home and i felt down in a drain. Hahaha.. I was all soaked and wet when i reached home), i told abah and zul that i wanted to send zul to school. He was happy and early this morning, right after subuh he had been pestering me about it. It's raining again when i reached home. Notice the raindrops on the window? :)

2006-09-14T00:38:00.000+08:00

It’s my last day driving this old car. Despite being an old one, it has left us such a wonderful memory n lots of meanings. Right after I get used to driving this car, abah told me that he wanted to sell it and buy a new one. Hmmm… I’m feeling comfortable with this car already. Everything is back to square one after this. I know I need some time to make myself comfortable with the new car. Abah bought a Toyota Wish. Woohoo!! A nice new car. I need to be extra super careful later when driving that car. Hmmm… This is giving me a headache. It’s not that I always drive the car anyhow without compassion. Hahaha.. It’s just that driving a brand-new car is totally a different feeling. It shouldn’t be any problem for abah but it’s quite a problem for me. I just got my license.. Hahaha… At last I got it! After went through thick and thorns. After failing my TP test for 4 times. At last I got it. I’m so happy. Thank you so much dear Allah. And now I’m still holding the Probational Plate (P Plate). Not a stable driver yet. Still learning and improving myself. I realize I’m a bit slow at things like this because I’m very afraid and always have that fear. Unlike learning at school which I’m quite well-off. Not very excellent and super duper genius but not bad I guess. Hehehe… But when it comes to driving I feel like I’m the stupidest and slowest learner. Thank God that all the instructors are very reliable and patient. Or else I know they will definitely knock my head. It took me quite some time to overcome my fear and alhamdulillah at last everything was overcome. Now, here I am a qualified amateur driver. Hehehe.. Not a pro yet. Don’t know when I’ll become one as I realize I’m quite scared when I need to drive. This is really funny, I know. I just want the license but I don’t want to drive. I would prefer being a passenger than driver. Hahaha… Abah is going to shout at me if he hears that. I better don’t tell him or I’ll get a ten volume of his advice series. :p

2006-09-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Engkaulah Tuhanku, tiada Tuhan melainkan Engkau Ya Allah.. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku tahu bahawa Engkaulah Tuhan yang maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang, Engkaulah yang maha mengetahui dan Engkaulah yang maha berkuasa ke atas setiap sesuatu yang ada di muka bumi ini. Ya Allah, aku tahu bahawa aku adalah milikMu yang mutlak maka dengan itu Engkau berhak untuk menentukan kehidupanku dan segala apa yang bersangkutan dengannya. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya keimanan dan keyakinanku kepadaMu tidak pernah hilang dan luntur dari jiwaku yang kerdil ini. Ya Allah, aku sentiasa percaya dan yakin bahawa setiap sesuatu yang telah Engkau takdirkan kepadaku adalah kerana kasih sayangMu kepadaku. Ya Allah, aku yakin kepada janji-janjiMu. Ya Allah, walau seberat mana pun ujianMu itu, aku tetap berserah kepada Engkau dan keyakinanku itu tidak akan sekali-kali aku padamkan. Ya Allah, Engkau pernah mengurniakanku nikmat-nikmatMu yang tidak terhitung banyaknya, Engkau juga memperkenankan doa-doa kami yang seringkali meminta kebaikan dariMu, tidak kiralah samaada ianya segera atau tidak kerana aku tahu sekiranya permintaan kami diperkenankan segera itu adalah rahmat dariMu manakala andai tidak demikian maka Engkau menginginkan kami untuk sering berdoa dan berdoa. Bukankah Engkau amat suka apabila orang-orang mukmin meminta-minta kepada Engkau? Ya Allah, aku tahu mungkin apabila doa itu lambat diperkenankan mungkin kerana hatiku yang tidak ikhlas dan bersungguh-sungguh tetapi aku tidak pernah berburuk sangka kepada Engkau kerana aku seringkali percaya bahawa Engkau ingin aku terus merintih kepadaMu kerana itu adalah cara untukku sentiasa dekat kepadaMu. Bukankah itu tanda kasih sayangMu kepadaku supaya dosa-dosaku terhapus? Ya Allah, aku tahu aku adalah hamba yang penuh dengan dosa. Aku terlalu lemah dan hina dan mungkin dengan demikian ia meghapus doasaku. Ya Allah, aku tahu tiada Tuhan selain Engkau, hanyalah Engkau tempat untukku menangis, hanya kepada Engkau sahaja aku mampu merintih, hanya Engkau sahaja yang mampu mendengarNya di setiap ketika kerana Engkau tidak pernah bosan dan marah mendengarkan rintihan hatiku. Apa diharapkan lagi pada manusia kerana mereka tidak suka mendengar rintihan itu setiap hari, mereka bosan dengan tangisan itu. Ya Allah, ku akui adakalanya aku akui bahawa aku merasa malu kerana sering meminta-minta kerana ku tahu diri ini penuh dengan dosa dan seringkali alpa dengan dunia..... (to be continued :-( )

2006-07-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Just now i went to cik mira's house at Tampines. So bored sitting at home doing nothing with this sad feeling inside. Im still grieving i guess (so stupid of me right?). Hmmmm... And furthermore i promised to visit her since the week i came back to spore & i haven't visited her till today. Hahaha.. I've been here for 3 weeks already. Ok ok.. Whatever it is i went to visit her already jus now.. I reached her house at abt 1.30 pm, we talked n talked, ate n played with little alisha. At about 4 pm just now we went out to Tampines Mall, cik mira, nenek, little alisha n me. Nothing interesting about Tampines Mall actually but what im gonna tell u is about what happened just now. I guess today is 'Hari Jumpa-jumpa Orang' or should i say 'Meet People Day'? Hahaha.. I dunno y im so excited abt writing abt tis but i jus feel that its weird. Today I walked n walked n i've been meeting my friends n acquaintances. Never in my life i've met these much in a day. The 1st person i met was fairuz shah, an acquaintance, he was my senior during MWTI days. I met him right beside Tampines MRT station. Wanna noe wat i did right aft seeing him? Hahaha.. I just pretend i didn't see him n immediately started a conversation wif cik mira. So bad izit? Whatever, but even if he saw me, its not that we were going to have a chat. We were never closed to each other n i dunno if we've ever chat with one another before. We continued walking since we were heading to TM but just a few steps aft that, i was surprised by another sight. Still beside the MRT station but right at the traffic light infront of Tampines Mall, i met syikin & razali. The couple. Hehehe.. Razali is another acquaintance n my senior during MWTI days too, Fairuz Shah's friend, n now i met him in egypt since he's still not finish with his study there. Syikin, his girlfriend is also in azhar, that's how i know her, we do have short conversations if we met though im not that close to her. Therefore, i've to stop n give salam to them n syikin asked me about the license thingy while razali just walked away leaving syikin n me. We continued our mission. Cik mira, nenek, isha n i went to LJS, ate again n have quite a long chat with entertainments from isha. Arghhh.. That little naughty cute girl! :) After that we went to watson cos cik mira wanted 2 buy supplements 4 nenek. We went out of the TM 2gether although we were heading 4 separate ways. We passed the McDonald n then right after it, infront of the main door i saw another friend of mine, Haidah, my ex-schoolmate. We were from the same batch who graduated in the year 2001 but she was from a different class. We were not close but we do exchange hi n smile n talk to each other if we have the chance. This time i just ignored her since she was busy talking on the phone n i doubt she saw me. Cik mira n me went separate ways aft that, she went home while i went to Ghufran since i haven't perform my asar prayer. Its already late so i just waited 4 maghrib n then this was the moment when i saw a familiar face. From far i have the feeling that the girl that sat infront is sum1 i noe, Liyana, my ex-classmate from MWTI but im not sure whether its her or not. Its been such a long time since i met her so i could get a wrong person. I just ignored her n continued wif the obligation. Aft finishing the prayer n wanted to go out of the woman's prayer hall, she walked infront of me n thats when she said 'Eh Puti!', so im not wrong! she's the correct person that i suspected earlier. Hmmm.. another friend i met! We had a short conversation n went our separate ways after that. She went down 1st n i went to the rack to put the telekong that i used n went to the mirror 2 check 4 my tudung (girl is always vain!). She has disappeared when i went down. And then while i was still going down the stairs, i saw another familiar face. It seemed that she saw me the moment i saw her. We smiled to each other n i said 'Eh mcm kenal je' in a joking manner n she answered with a smile on her face 'A ah memang kenal pun'. Its Shahida Rahim. At 1st i was not sure whether she's shahida or affidah cos both of them were in KUIS n i know both of them till i asked her to send my regards to her sister n she said out her name. I always mistook who is shahida n who is affidah. Hahaha.. So silly of me! A pathetic senior! Just some confusion i guess since the last time i saw her was 1 yr ago. Btw, Shahida was my junior at KUIS, the 2003 batch but we took diffrnt course, she took either Al-Quran & As-Sunnah or Shariah i'm not very sure. Can't remember ma! We were not that close then. She's sum1 like syikin, liyana n haidah. We xchnge hi n smile if we met n if there's opportunity we'll chat but if there's no then it'll be just about saying hi n exchanging smile. This time we did have a short conversation. She has started working, a kindergarten teacher. Hmmmm... Good 4 her! No more suffering! No more mingling wif books! No more lectures n tutorials! Arghhhh... When will come the time 4 me to relax? I can't wait to finish my degree. Oh Allah, please let me go through everything smoothly. Can't wait to finish this...

2006-07-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

Whoa! I jus can't believe it! Its almost 2 months since i updated my blog.. Masa tu tgh xm, skrg ni dabis xm, da balik spore pun! Result pun da nk kluar! Wow! Soooooo lama gitu! Actually bkn tak nak update, cuma merajuk sikit dgn blog ni, hmmmmm... not really the blog lah but entahlah dgn apa... susah nk cerita. Nilah hari ni baru nak cerita... A few days after mumu went back to spore, i actually updated this blog, if im not mistaken, at that point of time i just finished my naqad xm paper, can't remember the exact paper but 1 of those papers that gave me headache and pressure. :( i typed a long blog, in fact the longest 1 among all my blog entries. Masa tu memang tgh sedih, stress, kecewa & lonely so i really need to luahkan everyting in this blog of mine. Sedih pasal xm, sedih pasal org yg namanya start dr letter S tu & sedih pasal mumu da balik spore. Yang penting inside that entry semua pasal xms n mumu. Takde pun pasal org S tu. Masa tu tak sedih sangat pasal dia pasal da memang selalu sedih ingat dia so time xm masa utk sedih pasal lain pula lagipun stress xm je da cukup utk buat i terlupakan dia kejap. At least dptlah lupa dia kejap tapi stress kan xm pula. Aduh! Nak nangis dibuatnya! Xm pun pedih tau. Takut ada. Risau pun ada. Xm al-azhar ni lain macam stressnya. Oklah.. Masa i sent that entry, mumu pula da balik spore, dia dabis xm in advance! n i still have many xm papers to go. Kena kuatkan hati & semangat masa tu. Yelah jiran katil da takde. Org yg kalau kita stress bole buat kita tk stress sgt da takde. Org yg selalu hepikan kita da takde. Org yg kalau kita boring kita bole irritate dia dgn platypus kita da takde. Sunyi tau. So bila sedih2 & balik xm lagi sedih i pun nak update this bloglah. Ada something interesting to share. I typed everything. Semangat2 lah type dgn airmata sekali jatuh tau. Yelah org tgh sedih bangat. And then, nak dijadikan cerita makin sedih, i pun sent that entry, sekali nk tau wat happen??? The cyber cafe that i went was having a network problem! Kejap ada network, kejap takde network! Kebetulan masa i sent that entry tgh tkde network so apa yg i type habis semua hilang! Ya Allah!!! Masa tu memang kat situ juga i nangis, dahlah tgh sakit, tgh stress, tgh sedih, ujian yang begini pula menimpa diri ibarat sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga... I actually wanted 2 retype everything but after typing a few lines, i felt so sick, tired & sleepy so i just logged out of the internet, paid my bill n went home with 1001 feelings of sadness.. :( n after that i macam serik & takut nak update my blog using internet at cyber cafes cos im afraid that this kind of problem will occur again n i don't want to dissappoint myself n make myself devastated. So itulah dia cerita di sebalik knapa blog ni tk di'upate' smpai hari ni....

2006-05-11T04:46:00.000+08:00

My dearest bloggy, wait for me tomoro uh. Actually i got a sad story to tell u. :( Very very sad. Dissappointing n heartbreaking. I jus feel like shouting, crying, running, lock myself in a room forever. I jus feel like standing on top of a cliff n shout aloud. Life is meaningless. Im sad sad n sad. :( n now i can't cry anymore. Im totally blur. Expressionless. Like a walking zombie. Still alive but with no heart n soul. Alive without feelings n emotions. But dun worry i dun lost my sanity. :( *smiling but its hurting me inside* Hmm.. I noe bloggy u'll always wait for me here but im the one who's always busy n got no time to write everyday. Dun worry, i'll write this time. Very important. Its killing me. Its hurting me. So painful...

2006-05-11T04:02:00.000+08:00

Its 11 pm already n im still at the cybe cafe. Btw i jus came here at abt 10 pm jus now. Not alone uh. Wif hatsumumu. Hatsumumu got a special date wif her beloved kamal. Too bad im single so there's no one to date wif me via the net. Hahaha... Anyway my intention of cuming here is actually to release my stress n wanting to find sumtin to brighten up my tiring day. I guess i had a tiring n stressful day today. Right after waking up from my sleep, i had a bath and started to memorise my quran. Xm is very very near. I left another 9 more days to prepare for my quran n very sad to say that i haven't finish memorising all the 4 surahs. Im scared to death. Scared because i haven't finish all the 4 surahs. Its all my fault i guess. But all these while i've been very scared whenever i start to memorise my quran. Everytime i touched the Surah Maryam, Thaha, Al-Anbiya' n Al-Hajj mushaf i feel like crying. I start to panick. Its not that i dun like reciting the quran, i enjoy it so much but wat makes me panick is wen i start memorising it. Reciting it n memorising it different. I dunnoe what's up wif me nowadays, it feels like im moving on wif my life like a snail. Wake up babe. U need to rush n stop procrastinating. Uhh.. Btw i think i noe wat makes me move on like a snail. Its all due to my brain problem that has been bugging me since my last year in Kisdar. It has made a big change in my life n i've to accept it wif open heart. I noe that Allah knows best. :) I've been so forgetful n its not that easy for me to remember n memorise things. Ever since then i've been such an absentminded n scatterbrained girl. Hmmm.. He knows best, there's blessings in disguise. :) I've to carry on wif this life as long as i can still open my eyes n breathe. Hmmm... Back to my routine for 2day. When i was memorising my quran, irma came to my hse as promised. We promised each other to study saraf together so here we go till its 9 pm. But in between it we got few breaks. Aft finishing our discussion i thot of using the net cos i feel so tired. All day long i've been studying n im stressed!! i told umu that i wanna go to the cyber cafe n she thought that its a bright idea. Hehehe... So here we come. Hmm... Ok. Enough 4 now. I better go home now. Need to continue my quran n need to pray the isyak prayer. Aft that i can sleeeeepppp!!! Yoohoo!!! Sleeping is such a pleasure!

2006-05-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

It's 1st May already. Labour day. Even in Egypt it's holiday too. This shows that I got another 19 more days to prepare 4 my examination. It's so near now n I'm worry worry n worry. My 1st paper will be Quran n the last 1 will be balaghah. Alhamdulillah balaghah will the last paper 4 i have some troubles undstanding this subject. Hmmm... But I realise I undstand it better now. I need to do lots n lots, tons n tons of reading till I know I undstand it very very well, insya Allah. My classes have all finished n my Egyptian friend, Shymaa, has stop going to class. She stays very far far away from kulliyyah so it's a bit difficult 4 her to attend it often. But all this while she never missed it except when she's sick. She's very hardworking. I realise all my Egyptian classmates are hardworking. Most of them stay very far far away from kulliyyah but they still manage to come to class everyday. This is their good quality that i really admire. It's so sad to see my own friends absent themselves from classes although all of us stay jus 10 minutes away from kulliyyah. :( I admit that sometimes its quite boring n tiring 2 be sitting in the pathetic lecture hall for hours n hours but isn't it our duty n responsibility? We come here to study, we carry a big responsibility on our shoulder. Our parents send us with full hopes n dreams to see us pass n excel in our life. So no matter how it feels we still have to perform our duty. I can't bear to think that all of us will be asked in the hereafter upon all our doings while we were here, do we really study or instead we just waste our time n parents' money here? Oh no! Please! It gives me butterfly in my stomach n it'll always stop me from doing unnecessary ridiculous stuff here. Ya Allah, tsabbit qalbi 'ala tho'atika wa 'ala tho'ati walidayya wa 'ala aadaa'i waajibaati kulliha wab'idni minal 'ajzi wal kasal wa saa'iris sayyi'aat. Ya Allah.
Hmm.. Its Tina's birthday too today. We celebrated it at 12 am last night. Ummu n I bought her a cake n tarhah for her birthday present. It's just the three of us who celebrated it. Ummi is still at cairo n salmi is still at spore. She'll come to Egypt 2moro n will be reaching Cairo airport at about 7 am this Wednesday. After maghrib later, we'll be going to Mansyiyah... Arghh.. I just don't feel like going but I've to find abayah for my aunt. Hmm.. Its aft maghrib already and I know I'm supposed to continue my revision which has been stopped since 3 pm just now.. The actual plan is that we are going out after asar but the moment azan stopped and I was about to wear my hijab.. I heard somebody opened the door n its umu. She told me that dayah besar wanted to follow us n she just woke up from her sleep and could not make it after asar so she wanted us to go after maghrib. I was speechless... So here I am at the cyber cafe right after my prayer. I don't have the mood already to continue my revision cos I've set my mind that after asar I'll be going out for a while and after maghrib will be the right time for me to continue my study. Arghhh... What happen now? My plan is ruined n I've to set it back. Hmmm.. Nvm. Another mehnah which i have to endure. Just be patient puti...

Examination, Tina and Ecol

2006-04-23T02:47:00.002+08:00

It's been like almost a week i didn't update my blog, I guess it's all because I'm a bit busy this lately.. Busy with school, assignment n some packing that I need to do before the final year exams. Yeah.. Exam's coming. Another stressful month is coming.. Arghh.. I'm worried to death now, please pray for me that I'll pass both my mid-year n final year exams and will make it to fourth year. Today goes on as usual. School, study, cook, eat n later sleep. Hehehe.. It's quite boring at home because umu went to Cairo yesterday with dayah besar, dayah kecik, fiza mar n sab. Umi is still at cairo and salmi is still at S'pore so it left jus me and tina at home.. I'll always be the one to be left here in Alex. Ahhh.. So sad but I'll try not to make a sad story here. I guess I'm a loyal alex babe. :) I love alex so much, love the weather n everything. All about alex is beautiful! :) Hmm.. But next week I'll be going to Cairo too, maybe. It's because of the licence matter which is not yet settled. Oh Allah! Please let me get through everything smoothly, exam's coming and I'm very very worry. Hmm.. I better get going, Tina and Ecol are waiting for me, we are going to Fathallah supermarket.

Time Mystery Solved!!

2006-04-11T04:08:00.001+08:00

Hahaha.. I realise something.. I didn't change the time setting. It's so 'kental' of me. So now it won't lie anymore. It has the correct Egyptian time. I changed it a few mins ago. :) It's 10.12 pm here in Alexandria, Egypt.

Tired, tired and tired

2006-04-08T23:36:00.001+08:00

What a tiring day today.. Actually it's not today that makes me tired but it's yesterday. Today goes on as usual.. I woke up early in the morning to go to class with a bit moody feeling. I guess because of the exhaustion that I had from yesterday's hectic day. I just can't believe it that the moment I opened my eyes its already 9.13 am. Oh God! I'm gonna be late for my class and I really hate it. It's not me! I don't like it when I'm late for something which is so important in my life. I hate all the rushings that I'm going to face when I'm late.. Overall the conclusion is I hate being late!!! Arghhh!!!

In class I still felt a bit moody and sleepy. I kept yawning and felt so embarrased with it. I felt like a walking zombie all day till I had a short nap after class and here I am feeling all fresh and alive. Hehehehe.. Thank God that Dr. Qandil didn't come for Fiqh Usrah so that means there's no third period for today's class and I can go home and sleep!! :p I guess it's all my fault for being so sleepy.. I slept late again last night, another heart to heart talk with umu (or should I say that we were gossipping :p) although I was so tired and sleepy. I was the only S'porean in class today. Aziemah, Irma and Nadia were all absent. I guess they were all tired from the workshop cum meeting with MUIS yesterday. Hmm... At least Shymaa, the Egyptian girl is here and I'm not bored. Karimah, her bestfriend was also absent. Arghh.. This suddenly reminds me of Anwaar, another good friend of us who has been absent or about three weeks. She's married and I know she has to attend to her hubby. I miss her a lot. She's all energetic and lively. She spiced up our day so much.

Hmm.. I guess nothing much to talk about today.. The only obvious prominent 'event' about today is that I'm tired, tired and tired. Although yesterday was supposed to be a holiday and I should have save my energy for today's usage but it made me busy and the result is: I'm tired till today! Yesterday I woke up early in the morning to prepare salad for the MUIS' workshop with hatsumumu (umu's new nick :p) and after that I went straight to dayah besar's house. But naughty dayah went to my house because she wanted to escape the workshop! She chose to come to my house because she knew that mischievious hatsumumu was going to escape the workshop too. Hahaha.. What a bad escapism to seek dayah! :p i stayed at her house till about 4+ pm and after that I accompanied fiza to Assafirah and then accompanied her to her house and came back to dayah's house. Dayah was still not there. Hmm.. I packed some delicious irresistible food and went home. By that time I almost felt like fainting and suddenly hatsumumu and dayah told me that they were going to Carrefour. Out of the blue I told them ok, I'll follow. Wah! Am I supposed to be so exhausted??? I guess I gave them the positive answer due to my stress and pressure. I realised that I was so stressed after the workshop. I don't know why and I bet nobody could give me the answer except for my own self. The moment I returned home from Carrefour I felt like I could not open my eyes. I prayed, drank some plain water and thought of sleeping but again out of the blue hatsumumu and I talked and talked till its 3.15 am. Arghhh... I slept at 3.45 am n its late again!

Time Mystery

2006-04-07T00:47:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with the time? It's not 9.29 am when i posted the blog. It's 6.48 here in Egypt and it's almost dark. Nice spring season.. Hehehe.. Just love it! Winter is too cold for me n can't bear with it for so long. Love the spring sunshine + the cold wind from winter season. Dying to see the summer but i'll be back home. Summer vacation!!! I'm here waiting for you...

My First Blog Entry and Spaghetti

2006-04-07T00:29:00.004+08:00

At last i get myself a blog!!! Ahhh... I'm so happy. This will be my first time posting a blog... I Have been dreaming of having a blog for quite a long time already but due to time constraint I've been delaying it till today.. Am I a professional procrastinator??? Hmmm... I'm not sure myself. I guess nothing special happen today, I just lead a normal life. I Woke up at 10 am (very late uh? since there's no class today so please give me a break), I opened my eyes n saw umu is still sleeping. As usual the sleepyhead umu. :p I guess it's all due to staying up late yesterday night. Studying?? No! Hahaha... Another heart to heart talk wif umu. Something quite common to do when it left just me n her. Where are the rest of my housemates? How could they left us again? Hmm.. Never mind gals, although I know it's so boring to be left behind but I'm getting used to it n I bet umu feels the same way as I do. Gals, I pray that you'll have a nice time in Cairo and to Salmi, have a nice trip to Singapore. Send my best regards to my beloved homeland. Can't wait to be back at home. I guess I better get going now, the spaghetti is waiting for me at home and I need to pray my dusk prayer.

Diary of a wayfarer

The Zikir that disturbed my attention...

The Discourse Tonight :)

After My Super Long Break...

Those words...

Entahlah...

I Love Them!!!

Patience and Strength

Hati yang kau sakiti...

Muhasabah

Ya Allah, terima kasih di atas nikmat Islam dan iman...

Preserving my dignity, modesty and integrity... :)

The nasyid that look good to my eyes

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih

Duhai hati...

Cintailah bahasa Ibunda, Cintailah budaya pusaka...

To all my beloved ISDEVians...

Happy Teacher's Day, Selamat Hari Guru, عيد المعلم سعيد

Rinduku pada Universiti Al-Azhar

Kahwin, Tunang dan Single

Is examination a way of determining one's cleverness?

Umat Islam Ditakuti Kerana Banyak Anak

What revolves around the Malay community issue

'Monster' iceberg shedding hundreds of offshoots

A Tip for a Tip

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 5)

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 4)

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 3)

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 2)

Isu dan Penyelesaian Islamophobia dan Ekstremisme Agama (Part 1)

Muhasabah Cinta...

Haramnya darah 'al-Mu'ahid' dan 'ahli zimmah' - Terjemahan dari karya Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi

Hagah misy muhimmah lakum

Tak perlu baca.. Hasil dari mengantuk plus stress

Niqab Issue

Eid Monologue

Anak kucing itu...

I Have A Dream

Rahsia itu hanya Kau yang tahu...

Kucing

Modern Literature Ideologies

My Struggle with Literature Studies

Rindu Mesir!!!

Al-Hajb dalam Perbahasan Ilmu Fiqh Mawarits

Usia oh usia...

The Conversation and My Concept of Human and Women's Rights

Just a Piece of Paper

Wahai pakar-pakar bahasa...

RRG dan 'al-Wala' wal Bara'

Finding books on epistemology

Retreat, training, seminar dan yang sewaktu dengannya

New Exposure

Artikel oleh Muhammad Hanief bin Awang Yahaya

Saying Goodbye to Al-Azhar University (*sob*sob*)

Jangan

Biarkanlah...

Isu Madrasah di Singapura

Jodoh dan Takdir oleh Mohamad Abdul Kadir bin Sahak

The Small Girl in Me

Buat insan yang belum pernah hadir dalam jiwa ini...

The Dream

One of My Insomnia Nights

Examination, Tina and Ecol

Time Mystery Solved!!

Tired, tired and tired

Time Mystery

My First Blog Entry and Spaghetti

Saying Goodbye to Al-Azhar University (sobsob*)